297: A Mom's Journey to Reconcile Faith and Mental Health Support with Dara DeMari

In far too many segments of our society, there is a stigma and terrible shame around perinatal mood and anxiety disorders. Even now, when there is a huge push to validate mental health support for those who need it, many women are suffering in silence. The Christian faith is one subset of society where postpartum support is truly lacking, and simply “praying more” or “reading more scripture” are not valid ways to treat mental illness. Because of her suffering on the motherhood journey, my guest is on a mission to help other Christian women have the confidence to find the help they need. Join us to hear Dara’s story. 

Dara DeMari is a born-again Christian, wife, and mother of four young children. All of her pregnancies culminated in premature births and NICU stays for her babies. Although she grew up in a church family, her postpartum struggles left her feeling incredibly isolated, alone and shamed. With a full spectrum of perinatal mood disorders ranging from anxiety, OCD, rage, and depression, it took Dara years to shed the stigma of shame and be ready to share her story. She has made it her personal mission to gather stories of other Christian women who suffered in silence and help them use their voices to encourage women in the church to speak up and speak out about postpartum mood disorders. The goal is to comfort and encourage new mothers to feel confident in asking and receiving the support and help they need. Dara is in the process of forming a nonprofit called Postpartum Faith to help educate people and give those of Christian faith the resources available to face postpartum mood disorders head-on and overcome them with confidence.  

Show Highlights:

How Dara’s motherhood story began: a miscarriage and subsequent high-risk pregnancy with twins who were premature and required a three-week NICU stay after birth

How further problems and another three-week hospital stay for her newborn son led to severe sleep deprivation for Dara

How breathing issues for her son and feeding problems for both babies led to huge anxiety issues for Dara, including OCD, panic attacks, and intrusive thoughts

How Dara reached out for help to her Ob-gyn but was turned away with no direction or resources offered beyond the advice to “find a therapist”

How the Christian faith has a stigma associated with mental health and offered Dara no help

How Dara progressed to feeling desperate for help and frozen in anxiety

How relief finally came when she was directed to the postpartum stress center

How Dara’s next pregnancy and birth happened just as COVID lockdowns occurred and resulted in premature birth, respiratory distress, and another NICU stay

How Dara began to experience postpartum rage and reached out to her therapist

How her next pregnancy also resulted in a premature birth and NICU stay, which set Dara on the road to postpartum depression 

How Dara realized what is lacking in the church as far as postpartum support for women–and what she wishes the church would do

Why she is starting a nonprofit to help other women

How Dara’s struggles and intense suffering have positioned her with a passionate purpose to help other Christian women

Resources:

Connect with Dara and Postpartum Faith: Website

Visit www.postpartum.net for resources and support! 

Visit www.postpartum.net/professionals/certificate-trainings/ for information on the grief course.  

Visit my website, www.wellmindperinatal.com, for more information, resources, and courses you can take today!

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