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A Special Message from Us

OG Dance Moms Christi (@christilukasiak) & Kelly (@kellylhyland) take us back to the barre with this weekly podcast, recapping Dance Moms episodes and sharing never-before-heard behind the scenes stories. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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“This next scene is genuinely one of the wildest scenes I’ve ever seen on television. I cannot believe the words that are going to come out of Melissa’s mouth,” notes Christi as Abby's long not-awaited return to the ALDC heralds just as much drama as one would fear on "Tap Versus Hip Hop". If Pyramid weren't enough to dredge back up the Chloe loosing to Maddie debacle from the previous competition, Abby once again pits the two girls against one another with dueling solos. While Maddie gets a tap number that plays to her strengths, Chloe gets saddled with a Hip hop dance that is practically doomed form the get-go.
The moms fume over Melissa's betrayal of their oath not to let their kids appear of AUDC, but Melissa plays dumb and acts as if anyone would have accepted the offer. Christi flys a little to close to the sun with her insults and brings out the worst in Melissa, who starts making outlandish claims about how the other moms treat her children. Melissa often finds success by getting on Abby's good side, but when Maddie underperforms ever so slightly at competition, it becomes clear that Melissa has a limit to what she'll tolerate.
Quotes“This episode was filmed the first week in June. It aired in July. That is a fast turnover. We are now like only a month out from release. That is insane!" (15:11-15:25 | Christi)“I need to chug and do shots. [Abby] is not only wearing a headband, she’s wearing a headband with fake bangs attached. No! Yes, that are not the same color as her hair. Oh my god I missed it. It’s like a big swoop, like a big curtain and it doesn’t look like real hair at all. It looks like plastic barbie hair.” (39:12-39:35 | Christi & Kelly)“Abby says to Melissa, “This is why kids need to be homeschooled, Mackenzie is ridiculous!”’ Because of recess! And guess what? In about three months? [Maddie and Mackenzie] are homeschooled. That was probably Mackenzie’s last day of school.” (46:45-46:59 | Christi & Kelly)“Abby reminds [the girls] that this is there first competition back since she was filming AUDC, and she’s like don’t let me regret coming home. Meanwhile we’re all thinking you can go back. Go ahead! Don’t let the door hit your ass on the way out. See ya!” (1:04:19-1:04:35 | Kelly)
 Links Subscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w 
Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarre
Thank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510
Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiak
Follow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

No More Recess!

“You get so much accomplished without ever moving all that much. God he keeps bringing that up!” Christi and Kelly note as even the guests struggle to breath life into "Dance Moms Chatter: Part 2". Although Abby is still in LA filming Abby's Ultimate Dance Competition, she stuck around long enough for a sit down talk with Melissa, Jeff, guest comedian Alec Mapa and blogger Nadine Rajabi. But unlike last week where the producers could bring out Black Patsy and showcase drama clips in an attempt to enrage Chrisiti and Kelly into beefing, they can't go after Abby!
What remains is the guests attempting to drum up some fun with pre-scripted humor, which just can't compare to that off-the-cuff savagery of our Bitches! No attempts are made to engage with Abby's behavior or question Melissa at all. Instead we're presented with such colorful conversations as whose the worst dressed, which results in Abby somehow picking Kelly!? Even Christi will be the first to admit she dressed much worse than Kelly, and that's not even mentioning Jill!
Quotes“And Brooke is buying for everybody at the bar. Well that’s because we have a per diem. So Brooke is like I’m buying everyone here a drink and I’m like it’s on Lifetime. Finally after all these years it’s on Lifetime!" (7:34-7:46 | Christi & Kelly)“I really, to this day, would love a download of what the rules of the Bible Game are. Exactly! I don’t know there was a Bible Game! Let’s play the Bible Game! What are the rules? I’m willing to play I just need to know the rules!” (18:11-18:29 | Christi & Kelly)“Have you ever met someone who is more observant of your face than Jill Vertes? No. Cathy always pointed out shit on our faces too. Jill took it to another level. Jill would be like, “Christi, you have one eyebrow about a third of the way in, one centimeter down that needs plucking.”’ She probably hates looking at me!” (36:33-36:59 | Christi & Kelly)“We were talking at the bar about how we knew if you had pick-ups because they made you use words that weren’t in your vocabulary. I tell you that all the time! I know it and your kids know it too. What’s with all this talking about me at the bar? Who all is there and why are you all talking about me? Listen it was fun. I’m sure it was for you.” (52:15-52:38 | Christi & Kelly)
 Links Subscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w 
Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarre
Thank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510
Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiak
Follow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Rejecting Abby's World

"My obnoxious level in this episode escalates very quickly," notes Christi as before "Dance Moms Chatter Part 1" can even begin she's already pretty drunk. But in a rare occurrence, Christi and Kelly don't have to hide their booze in coffee cups because this week, martini glasses are out in the open! With Jeff Collins moderating it's clip-show week on Dance Moms with special guests Patsy, internet blogger Nadine Rajabi and comedian Lisa Arch. Christi is famously not a fan of these episodes as it served as little more than an excuse to get replay value out of their fights and trauma, but this week at least it appears Christi simply was too drunk. The amount of "Amen to that!" coming from Christi is enough to make anyone cringe, but especially Christi.
Segments include a Dance Moms trivia contest between the guests, with Jeff shilling out all of $10 for the winner! Plus what would a Jeff Collins hosted talk show be without some classic Jeff "comedy". We also get some quality hot-takes, like who Patsy thinks the biggest crybaby is on Dance Moms. However, do Christi and Kelly find themselves wishing they had made more of a connection with Patsy? Could she have been the ally against Abby they needed all along? Also is Kelly wearing Christi's clothes!?
Quotes“Ok, my dress was ugly. You were wearing an ugly dress but it was my dress so it’s double ugly." (8:37-8:42 | Christi)“All of these compilations where it’s back to back… and I’m like oh my god that’s hard to watch: That’s exactly what the clip show is like. When I say the clip shows are hard for me to do it’s because that’s all it was. It was every freaking fight back to back to back. So there was no breathing in-between. It was go from one fight to the next fight and it was so aggressive.” (24:54-25:20 | Christi)“I love how foul language is Abby’s barometer for bad behavior. No you don’t use foul language, you just torture children.” (29:55-30:02 | Christi & Kelly)“And you’re like can I get an amen! What is wrong with me!? What is wrong with me? Please someone muzzle the blonde. In the Big Bird dress. It’s terrible.” (1:01:31-1:01:45 | Christi & Kelly)
 Links Subscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w 
Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarre
Thank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510
Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiak
Follow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Say Amen, Christi

"I could watch a 24 hour live stream of the shit that Cathy and Vivi talk about," remarks Christi as Season 3's "No Room for Rotten Apples" is another Cathy-centric episode. It's not the most eventful of affairs as the producers even included an inordinate amount of dance footage this week to compensate, but what is there is... deeply weird. For example: Cathy puts Vivi in charge of cataloguing her entire collection of ceramic bunnies. Why? Who knows!
Cathy introduces The Apple Tree, her Cathy-themed replacement for Pyramid, and Jalen and Mari are squarely at the bottom. If they don't shape up during this week's competition in Columbus, Cathy is threatening to remove one of them from the team. Why does she need to cut anyone though? She has an ideal seven kids to match Abby, is this a production developed conflict? To make the conflict extra needless, Cathy insists that Jalen perform his first contemporary and triple pirouette, something Jalen isn't remotely ready to pull off. The undue extra attention on Jalen's teaching starts to upset Mari's mother, who is worried her daughter will be comparatively unprepared for her solo. It's up to Anthony to prep them both, but the best he can do is give Mari a literal panic attack!
Meanwhile Abby continues filming for Abby's Ultimate Dance Competition, bringing Maddie out to LA to perform a solo. But where is the rest of the ALDC? Tune-in to find out how Maddie really ended up solo.
Quotes“Paige heard [the crew] talking about Menage a Trois’ and Paige was like ‘Oh my mom loves that.’” She meant the wine, they meant something else." (6:05-6:15 | Kelly)“On her podcast, Abby said something nice about Kelly and I. Now guys, there was a freaking solar eclipse this week, so clearly everything is out of alignment.” (18:20-18:30 | Christi)“[Anthony] says that she hired him because of his resume so she needs to let him work. I’m pretty sure that she didn’t hire him. Well he’s related to Jimmy Chriss. WHAT?! I did not know that. How do you know that? Because I hate the guy.” (51:46-52:07 | Christi & Kelly)“Poop turds?! I’m like who’s poop turds?! And then she’s always on us about being classless and I’m like you just said the word poop turds on national television, and now I’ve said poop turds on our podcast 87 times. ” (1:07:08-1:07:21 | Christi)
 Links Subscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w 
Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarre
Thank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510
Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiak
Follow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A Special Message from Us

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