Absolutely Not

By Dear Media

Arts Comedy

What's Absolutely Not about?

"Absolutely not" to legitimately everything.....Comedian Heather McMahan creates a safe-space for us to tell-all and bitch about the rest. No topics are off-limits as we break down the everyday struggles of doing the most, and the least, at the same damn time. Come for the humor, authentic discussion or call in the Hotline or should we say "Absolutely NOT-Line" with your life complaints. We will discuss it all. It's a joyful take on life's craziest moments.

4.9

10,685 ratings

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LAST EPISODE

It Doesn't Take a Village

09.27.2023

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather is reporting live from Canal Street after yet another wild leg of the tour. There must have been something in the water because the weekend had everything including a 12-year-old popping ...

Absolutely Not episodes:

09.27.2023 It Doesn't Take a Village On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather is reporting live from Canal Street after yet another wild leg of the tour. There must have been something in the water because the weekend had everything including a 12-year-old popping ...
09.20.2023 Shakin' T*ts for Cash on Netflix On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather is finally able to make a HUGE announcement: she’s coming to Netflix baby! That’s right, her new comedy special, The Son I Never Had, is coming to a couch near you ...
09.13.2023 "F*ck Season" with Jared Freid On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast - Heather is back with friend of the pod, Jared Freid. They talk about his hilarious new Netflix special, 37 and Single, and Jared gives some sage dating advice on the proper ...
09.06.2023 Hot Takes with Heather On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather's jumps into the Instagram DMs to answer your burning questions, and talk through a dab of trauma. She also hits the hotline to prove once again that she may not always ...
08.30.2023 JACQUELINE & The Wiener Circle On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is home from her Tour-de-America. Her feet may be swollen, but she's got a real pep in her step after being dressed down by a large woman selling Wiener's in Chicago. ...
08.23.2023 Viva Las Vegas On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is fresh off of surviving the usual Vegas madness during her stop at Wynn, and back in the LA studio to do the work right after surviving Hurricane Hilary. She may ...
08.16.2023 Imma Go Eat On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather shares a personal idea she's been tinkering with for a minute, that will set your ovaries on fire. She hits the Absolutely-Not-Line to discuss How to treat your elders, the ultimate ...
08.09.2023 Sky High with The Points Guy, Brian Kelly On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather sits down with her dear friend, Brian Kelly AKA The Points Guy, to talk everything from the surrogate journey and being a dad, to the truth about being a boss, and ...
08.02.2023 Suffer in Silence On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather discusses how the Aliens have arrived, why summer reading was absolute bullshit, why women tennis players need more money and really rounds it out answering your Voicemails about life. We have ...
07.26.2023 Full Circle & Full Sweat in Firenze On this episode the Absolutely Not Podcast Heather is back from her whirlwind week abroad after stalking down Harry Styles in italy. She sweat it out in the bathrooms at the Firenze Outlets, ate her weight in salami and handed ...
07.19.2023 "Wear the Linen" with Robin McMahan On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather catches up with the queen of ADHD herself, Robin McMahan, her mother. They discuss goals, linen, and how to get back at your ex. Robin bitches and complains that Heather is ...
07.14.2023 Marine Layer On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather is back from a trip in frigid cold California with a sweaty undercarriage and anxiety to boot! Mercury must be in retrograde because technology is failing us and the voicemails on ...
07.05.2023 "We'll Figure it Out" with Logan Crosby On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather interviews rising country music star, Logan Crosby. They discuss what it takes to write a country song, how to become a star and Logan confesses his affection for older women. Thats ...
06.28.2023 And We're Having So Much Summer Fun On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather is speedballing on a steroid pack post being humbled in the Hampton's and getting Rejected-then accepted at the most exclusive club on a pond in Montauk. She hangout with cool German ...
06.23.2023 "Quiet Luxury" with Cammy Miller On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is fresh off the high and the hangover of her Radio City Performance- there was an epic afterparty and the next day was even wilder. Heather headed to the Hamptons post-show ...
06.14.2023 Road to Radio City On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather shares the excitement, joy and fear she has rolling into one of the biggest nights of her life- Playing Radio City Music Hall. She takes a stroll down memory lane, and ...
06.07.2023 Baby D'Angelo On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is back from her shows in Dallas with a hangover and general marital agitation. She is trying to save her Jute rugs from being destroyed by Mac, while also trying to ...
05.31.2023 Tour of Trauma On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather breaks down her weekend in the NATH EAST. She describes the absolute savage tour Robin took her on around Bahstan's Lil Italy, and how she would leave Jeff for a union ...
05.24.2023 "Is She Good?" - With guest, Adam Ray On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather sits down with friend and hilarious comedian, Adam Ray. They discuss how they both got their start in Show biz in the 6th grade because they we're chubby children. Take a ...
05.17.2023 A Pittsburgh Prize On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather's back is out but her attitude has returned. She's learning hard lessons like "everyone's an asshole", "if you dont have a core, you're body will shut down" and "Dont get stabbed ...
05.13.2023 What Would You Do? with Jordana Abraham & Jared Fried On this bonus episode of the Absolutely Not podcast- Heather sits down with Jordana and Jared, hosts of the "U Up?" podcast, to talk about why couples pranks might be the worst side of TikTok, teach Jared maybe too much ...
05.10.2023 Surprise Swingers On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast- Heather hits the hotline and answers your voicemails about the thrills of becoming a regular at a bar, how cheering on the elderly should be a regular thing, what to do if ...
05.03.2023 Joy Ride to the ATM On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather breaks down the details of the insane predicament she found herself in, at the Memphis airport, ran into a couple Lasso kids in Texas and was slinging art in Mississippi for ...
04.26.2023 NYC SCAR TISSUE On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather and Jeff are taking a walk down memory lane in their old neighborhood. They have some advice for the Rat Czar of the city and take you behind the scenes of ...
04.19.2023 MASTER SCAMMERS PART 2 with Raymond Padilla On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather sits down with the ultimate SCAMMMMER, Ray, to discuss how they scammed their way into the masters, yet again. It is an in-depth observation into the golf world that rarely few ...
04.12.2023 The Holy Trinity On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather is fresh from her trip to Augusta with a new business idea that will take doggy day cares, water parks, and sushi restaurants to the next level. She hits the Absolutely ...
04.07.2023 F.A.A.F.O. On this bonus episode of the Absolutely Not podcast- Heather is back in the DMs answering your hard-hitting questions from how to deal with fuckboys and HOA drama to what she'd want to be reincarnated as in the next life. ...
04.05.2023 Fiesta Time On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is back from a weekend of shows in the Lonestar state and wants everyone to know she has figured out the answer to world peace- a simple San Antonio Fiesta. Slap ...
03.29.2023 Tennessee Whiskey On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather is back from her weekend of shows at the Ryman where she set the fire alarm off in the middle of a tropical storm on Broadway! She hits the hotline and ...
03.24.2023 BOTTOMLESS CHIPS BITCH On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast Heather is keeping it 100% that some days you just need to get into the back corner of your closet, suck on a J Crew sweater and scream. She's fresh from the ...
03.15.2023 Lobster Zaddy On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast Heather is fresh off her shows in New England and ready to buy a house next to the Bush family on the beach. She felt the cool crisp seabreeze across her tits ...
03.09.2023 White House Riff Raff On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is back from serving her country by performing comedy for drunk white women. Not only did she get to visit the white house, but bamboozled her way into the hearts of ...
03.03.2023 She.E.O. with Raymond Padilla On this bonus episode of the Absolutely Not podcast- Heather is back in the studio with friend of the pod, Raymond Padilla, to talk what they're giving up for lent, Ray getting high on THC drinks and channel their inner ...
03.01.2023 Insanity Mode On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast - Heather is fresh from the Philly show where she may or may not have gotten in trouble for being a little too honest with the sports takes a little too soon. ...
02.22.2023 LAST OF THE LITTER BABY On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast- Heather introduces her new little nugget Macaroni to the world with a real attitude. Heather is coming in hot because she already knows some woman named Willow is gonna bitch that she ...
02.15.2023 Security Breach On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather is back from a weekend sling jokes in the midwest! She saw a woman smoke a blunt while buying Zyrtec, ate some pasta in Ohio, and had a lovely gal sneak ...
02.08.2023 "Year of the Rabbit" with Christina Tompkins On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather is sitting down with business gal and bff, Christina Tompkins- also know as TINA! They are reporting live from the turks and caicos on a very important Business trip, or at ...
02.01.2023 Pink Tree Problems On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast - Heather is home from a wild weekend of shows in Augusta and Charleston. A woman tried to sit in Jeff's lap, she found a scammer at a hotel valet in Augusta ...
01.25.2023 Red Delicious On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is back from Texas with cedar fever and some new boots. She is taking a quick breath before she is back on the road again this weekend to listen to your ...
01.18.2023 It's About the Journey On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is reporting live, from Austin,Texas! She narrowly made it to her hotel after riding in a maroon escalade with a drug dealer named Charlie, but is staying positive and looking at ...
01.13.2023 LET THE BIG DAWGS BITE On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast Heather is fresh off a z-pack from Mexico and the ride of her life through the sofi stadium to be an SEC ally for the dawgs. She is sniffling her way through ...
01.04.2023 HOW DID WE GET HERE On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast Heather is ringing in the new years with fresh boundaries with her negative CVS. She will no longer allow their filthy carpet and refusal to take her insurance dampen her mood!! She ...
12.30.2022 "Rose and Thorn" with Jeff Daniels On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast - Heather is sitting down with her Italian stallion to recap 2022 highs and lows and doomsday prep for the 2023 shit show season. Jeff and Heather both share their "rose and ...
12.21.2022 Missed Connections On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather prepares herself mentally for the battle of Christmas and reminds herself it's not about fighting a petite elderly woman for the last giftcard at Talbots. but rather a time to reflect ...
12.14.2022 "Only Give 70%" with Guest Andrew Collin On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather sits down with friends and road dog, Andrew Collin. They are fresh off 3 shows in the midwest and recording live from a Hilton in Grand Rapids where the vibes are ...
12.07.2022 Attitude of Gratitude On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast Heather is recovering from a wild weekend in the Big Easy where she received alot of attitude from mixologists and almost fought a college kid in a night club. She gives advice ...
11.30.2022 Dog Park Perv On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather is fresh from her weekend in Mississippi eating pork rinds & cheering on the Sportz- She hits the Absolutely Not Line to dissect all of your Post- Thanksgiving Drama. You hoes ...
11.23.2022 DO LESS AUNT REGINA On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather is breaking down the pre-holiday anxiety we are all feeling in the back of our throats. The next week is going to be filled with family fights, food sensitivities and lots ...
11.17.2022 Hot Topic Sweet 16 On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is fresh from a weekend of shows in Florida. She was not invited to Tiffany Trump's wedding but instead spent the weekend slingin' jokes and searching for a new therapist in ...
11.09.2022 Beam Me Up Scott On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather is fresh from her trip to Space Camp, aka a weekend of shows in Huntsville. She met a scientist at a bar that told her we only got a few weeks ...

Older episodes

Absolutely Not

What's Absolutely Not about?

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Absolutely Not episodes:

It Doesn't Take a Village

Shakin' T*ts for Cash on Netflix

"F*ck Season" with Jared Freid

Hot Takes with Heather

JACQUELINE & The Wiener Circle

Viva Las Vegas

Imma Go Eat

Sky High with The Points Guy, Brian Kelly

Suffer in Silence

Full Circle & Full Sweat in Firenze

"Wear the Linen" with Robin McMahan

Marine Layer

"We'll Figure it Out" with Logan Crosby

And We're Having So Much Summer Fun

"Quiet Luxury" with Cammy Miller

Road to Radio City

Baby D'Angelo

Tour of Trauma

"Is She Good?" - With guest, Adam Ray

A Pittsburgh Prize

What Would You Do? with Jordana Abraham & Jared Fried

Surprise Swingers

Joy Ride to the ATM

NYC SCAR TISSUE

MASTER SCAMMERS PART 2 with Raymond Padilla

The Holy Trinity

F.A.A.F.O.

Fiesta Time

Tennessee Whiskey

BOTTOMLESS CHIPS BITCH

Lobster Zaddy

White House Riff Raff

She.E.O. with Raymond Padilla

Insanity Mode

LAST OF THE LITTER BABY

Security Breach

"Year of the Rabbit" with Christina Tompkins

Pink Tree Problems

Red Delicious

It's About the Journey

LET THE BIG DAWGS BITE

HOW DID WE GET HERE

"Rose and Thorn" with Jeff Daniels

Missed Connections

"Only Give 70%" with Guest Andrew Collin

Attitude of Gratitude

Dog Park Perv

DO LESS AUNT REGINA

Hot Topic Sweet 16

Beam Me Up Scott

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