660. Alaya Dickinson

Alaya first experienced brief glimpses leading to a spontaneous awakening in 1997. This left her with a burning fire for truth and a determination to find a release from her suffering. She was drawn to satsang and to the feet of her beloved Neelam: a teacher of the Ramana Maharshi lineage. From that very first meeting there arose a profound recognition of unconditional love but also a strong sense of separation and resistance. However, Alaya instinctively knew that penetrating the resistance was exactly what was needed to penetrate the suffering. With Neelam’s unconditional love this separation fell away shortly after the birth of Alaya’s first child in 2001.

With a new husband and baby, Alaya moved to Asheville. She found in her daily experience of being a householder and working mother, that there was much abiding awareness/living in present Reality. But the non-abiding dream state kept arising which created an even deeper desire to investigate what was still appearing as separation. She realized that what was needed was already in the life she was leading and that every moment was a gift and opportunity to return to the natural awakened Self. “My husband, my children, my job, everything is my teacher, and true love is laying down whatever pulls on you, turning back to this life with an open heart and open palms.” With the realization that ordinary everyday life was sacred and that each moment was the Beloved pointing us home, she continued to question and inquire into her ideas, perspectives, and feelings until the veil of separation finally fell away. “With tenderness and openness, conditioning can unmanifest - leaving what naturally remains, as stillness, presence and love.” As people began to ask her to teach, Grace appeared as the non-dual teacher Adyashanti and with his support and friendship she began to give satsang in 2011. “Grace is like gravity, it will continue to pull you within for the truth of who you are isn’t found in doing. It is found in the silence – in stillness.”

Website: alayasatsang.org

Discussion of this interview in the BatGap Community Facebook Group.

Transcript of this interview

Interview recorded August 27, 2022

YouTube Video Chapters:

00:00:00 - Introduction to Buddha at the Gas Pump

00:04:08 - The Awakening Experience at a Young Age

00:07:43 - Following Intuitive Knowing

00:11:14 - Unknowing and Reformulation

00:14:34 - The Unknowingness of Grass

00:18:00 - The Fishiness of Life

00:21:39 - A Diverse Community in a Double Wide Trailer Bar

00:24:59 - A Transformational Experience

00:28:39 - Deepening of Presence and Surrendering to the Vaster State

00:32:16 - The Primal Resistance to Opening Up

00:36:06 - The Trauma of Duality

00:39:37 - The Stages of Spiritual Development and Societal Growth

00:43:01 - Being of Service by Becoming Nobody

00:47:11 - Different Roles and Different Paths

00:51:06 - Unconditional Love and the Collapse of Searching

00:55:26 - Carried by Grace

00:58:56 - Deepening into Oneness with Neelam

01:03:04 - The Decision to Move On

01:07:08 - The Fear of Suffering and Awakening

01:10:55 - Dissolving the Ego and Aligning with the Deeper Gift

01:14:55 - Meeting Neelam and the Veil on My Face

01:18:41 - The Role of a Teacher in Spiritual Awakening

01:22:16 - The Gift of Healing and Transmission

01:25:47 - Degrees of Receptivity and Awakening

01:29:06 - Deeper embodiment of awakening

01:32:47 - The Beauty of Constant Change

01:35:59 - The Nature of the Path and the Danger of Feeling Accomplished

01:39:31 - The Pitfall of Idolizing Teachers

01:42:55 - Being of Service to Others

01:46:49 - Expansion of Zoom Retreats and In-Person Meetings

01:50:22 - Experiencing Psychological Trauma of Separation