The Holy Roman Empire is a huge topic, spanning at least one continent and nearly a thousand years. Fortunately, we’re here to cover the entire thing in about an hour while you doze off to a good night’s sleep with thoughts of complex treaty agreements dancing in your head. We’re guided on this journey by comedian, actor, and writer Guy Branum who knows more about the political and military intricacies of the Holy Roman Empire than we thought possible. Perhaps Guy is preparing to mass an army and finally make his move on Europe. Only time will tell.

An Abbreviated History of the Holy Roman Empire with Guy Branum

Getting to sleep can be difficult sometimes. Now you can achieve that urgently needed rest by taking advantage of our most precious natural resource: celebrities. Each week on the slyly humorous and reassuring Sleeping with Celebrities, host John Moe talks with a different guest from the world of entertainment about something they know a lot about. The conversation is guaranteed to be just interesting enough to draw your attention away from your own swirling anxieties but never interesting enough to keep you awake. No startling revelations, no dramatic screaming confrontations, but plenty of low-key dialogue, intricately laced deadpan comedy, and a ticket to dreamland.

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The path from Silicon Valley computer programmer to rising star in standup comedy is not one that’s well traveled. Nor is the opposite path for that matter, where one leaves behind a world of headlining clubs and making specials to write code in a cubicle somewhere. But Richard Sarvate, former programmer and current standup, is a trailblazer. He fills us in on his former life, including why “spaghetti code” became such a problem, and also his near death experience in Puerto Rico that led to his career change. That last bit is a little exciting but don’t worry, it’s a happy ending and you’ll fall asleep.

Comedian Richard Sarvate Understands How Email Actually Works

New York's Verrazzano-Narrows Bridge is 13,700 feet long. Comedian, Rifftrax star, and MST3K alum Bill Corbett is at most six feet long, maybe even a little less. Still, Bill has a lot more to say about the bridge than the bridge can say about him because bridges can't talk. Bill's funnier too, by a lot, whereas the bridge has its own strengths like 13 lanes of traffic to Bill's none. Bill, a native New Yorker, fills us in at great length about New York's second most famous bridge, the Andrew Ridgely of bridges, really, the Andrew Bridgely so to speak in a long and sleepiness-inducing conversation that also veers into discussion of the Texas rock boogie band ZZ Top, who may have crossed over the bridge at some point, we just can't really tell. Bill and the bridge both debuted in the 1960s, a fact that doesn't come up.

Bill Corbett on the Verrazzano-Narrows Bridge and Also On ZZ Top

When Julia Duffy is not filming something to entertain and delight you, chances are she’s reading a book. It’s generally non-fiction, often historical, and in one notable recent case, it was all about a tiger. Don’t worry, there isn’t enough action in her detailed descriptions of these books to keep you awake at night. It’s more like Julia, who starred as Stephanie on Newhart and as Mary Jones Davidsoul on Palm Royale, is doing your bedtime reading for you, so you can just shut your eyes and drift away for the evening. Julia even matches John Moe’s mellow dulcet tones to get you extra tuckered out.

Julia Duffy, from Newhart and Palm Royale, Has Just Read This Great Book

Yes, that headline can be confusing. Read it slowly. We’ll wait. Lindy West is an acclaimed author, podcaster, and all-around funny person. Her best-selling book, Shrill, was adapted into a series for hulu starring Aidy Bryant. Lindy finds it relaxing to surf through YouTube videos of expert gamers performing “speedruns” through popular games, especially games that Lindy herself played as a young person, like the King’s Quest series. Maybe you can get to sleep by listening her describe those games, so you’re even more safely removed from actual excitement.

Lindy West Slows Down By Watching Others Play Video Games Fast

Ray Ellin, according to Wikipedia, is a comedian, talk show host, producer, writer, and director. According to Sleeping with Celebrities, he is also a fairly fanatical devotee of the television series Little House on the Prairie and he discusses it freely, openly, and in great detail on our latest episode. He’s so into the show, Ray hosts the Wild Nights on the Prairie podcast. Learn what sparked his interest, what job he would have in Walnut Grove if he could teleport into the LHOTP universe, and what kind of profane questions have been asked of Alison Arngrim, the actor who played Nellie Oleson.

An Abbreviated History of the Holy Roman Empire with Guy Branum

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