Have you ever reallllly thought about why Jordan Knight danced sexually at a carnival? This week, we take you there. Probably more tangent than actual substance (which we know you love :)), we do get a heavy dose of cougardom with the introduction of Alex and the reappearance of... Rachel? Old lady who fucks Dawson... mysteriously.

Bitch, stop.

It's the freakin' Creekend and we're about to have us some emotional meltdowns! Tune in for an episode by episode discussion of the 90's WB teen classic, Dawson's Creek. Long time DC fans and sisters, Leyna and Aliah O'Neill guide DC noob, Adam Alix through the hormonal circus that is Dawson's Creek. Let's unpack the sexual anxiety, vitriolic diatribes and misplaced optimism that made actual high school feel like...kind of a let down tbh. Come cry at the end of the dock about your confusing and angry boner with us!

Comedy

We made it, VanDerFreaks! You've waited three years to hear Adam's reaction to Jen's death... prepare to be shocked. Get your oreos out and dunk right in. The Creek...end?

Rippederdale

It's a flash forward, VanDerFreaks, and it turns out the future is bleak. Sure Jack's a woke high school teacher, but he's dating a closeted Deputy Dougie. Oh cool, Jen has a baby, but CJ dumped her ass and she's gonna die. Worst of all, the triangle is surging and we are no closer to a resolution. Tune in, if you feel safe. 

Who's Grieving?

Joey's gonna go ahead and rally the whole town in support of Dawson's film. Outrageous casting and archaeological green screen technology. If you're looking for Todd impressions, you're gonna get 'em here, luhv. 

Butterfly Girl

Does Grams actually do poppers on cam? No. But we can dream. After forcing Grams to tell her own daughter about her cancer diagnosis, Jen decides to move the whole gang into Helen's Upper East Side chateau. Now that's a spinoff we'd watch. Also Pacey drops the StepiBomb that Dawson is StepiBroke and it goes exactly like you think it would. Wahhhh!

Grams Does Poppers

Eddie's gonna go ahead and round out Joey's sophomore year with another epic ghosting, because as a young woman, she NEEDS to be triggered by every man in her life. I'm sorry, I can't, don't hate me vibes. Also, Pacey gets Stepifucked by Stepitech and Stepikicks Rich's ass in an explosive desktop face off, which is a joy to watch and discuss. Editor's note: we say that this is episode 22 but it is actually episode 20.

Bitch, stop.

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