For this week’s episode of the Therapy Works podcast, we released a very important conversation with Charles Spencer, where he opens up about his experience of childhood sexual abuse in boarding school. In this bonus episode, the three of us talk about our takeaways from that conversation, and what really resonated in us when we heard Charles’ story.
Key Points Discussed:


Complexity of Disclosure: They explore the difficulties victims face in disclosing abuse, especially sexual abuse, due to societal disbelief and the inherent shame tied to these experiences.


Impact of Abuse on Identity and Relationships: The dialogue delves into the effects of abuse on self-perception, the struggle with shame, and the obstacles to forming intimate and trustworthy relationships.


Navigating the Healing Process: The importance of therapy, acknowledging one’s experiences, and finding a narrative to differentiate the past from the present are emphasised as crucial steps towards recovery.


The Role of Acknowledgment in Healing: The power of acknowledging harm done, either through direct conversation or letters, as a pivotal step for both victims and perpetrators towards addressing intergenerational trauma.


For more information, please visit the National Child Traumatic Stress Network - https://www.nctsn.org
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BONUS: Julia and her daughters discuss Charles Spencer's interview

Bestselling author and psychotherapist, Julia Samuel, invites us into her therapy room as she talks to both known and unknown voices about some of life’s biggest challenges.

Therapy Works is full of therapeutic conversations which may contain difficult emotions but those that can paradoxically bring light, in all its form.

Listeners will hear what the guests have learnt, failed to learn and how they have grown through their experience. At the end of each episode, Julia reflects on her session with her two psychotherapist daughters who will share their thoughts on the conversation. You’ll quickly discover that not all therapists agree on everything!

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For this week’s Agony Aunties, we address a listener's concern about feeling numb after the recent death of their mother. We’ll talk about the stereotypes of what people think grief looks like, and then address the shock and emotional numbness that often follows sudden loss, along with the adaptation process during mourning, and when it might be necessary to seek professional help. We’ll also talk about the importance of proper support systems, the timing of therapeutic interventions, and accessible resources for those dealing with grief.

Resources:
I’ve created an app to help people navigate Grief, called Grief Works. I think it can be very useful in helping work through grief and its many stages. Please find a link to download it here - https://illumeapps.com/griefworks/
Please follow me on Instagram - http://instagram.com/juliasamuelmbe/
For more info, check out my website - https://juliasamuel.co.uk
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Agony Aunties: Understanding Grief and Numbness After Loss

While we’re preparing for Season 6 of Therapy Works, we have a special expert episode we wanted to share between Emily and Satya Doyle Byock, a psychotherapist from Portland and author of the book 'Quarter Life: The Search for Self in Early Adulthood.” Satya explains the concept of the 'quarter life' phase, identifying it as the first stage of adulthood between adolescence and midlife, and discusses the unique challenges faced during this period. She shares her motivation for writing the book, rooted in her personal struggles and professional experiences, which I’m sure many of us can relate to as well. The conversation delves into the societal expectations, psychological development, and family dynamics that impact individuals in their twenties and thirties, and also discusses how we usually talk about this stage of life, which - oftentime - isn’t met with a lot of compassion or patience. Emily and Satya also discuss the importance of ritual, and the role of therapy in navigating this critical life stage, and the importance of understanding and supporting this majorly transformative phase of our lives.
00:00 Welcome and Introduction to Doyle Byock and His Book on Quarter Life
00:39 Defining Quarter Life and Its Importance
01:26 The Struggles of Quarter Lifers and the Lack of Societal Language
03:20 Generational Perspectives and Misunderstandings
05:05 The Four Pillars of Growth in Quarter Life
12:05 The Meaning vs. Stability Framework
20:03 The Role of Parents and Society in Navigating Quarter Life
24:21 The Power of Therapy and Self-Exploration
26:39 Closing Thoughts and the Impact of Supporting Quarter Lifers
Resources: If this conversation resonated with you, and you’d like to find ways to understand the quarter-life experience from a different angle, check out Satya’s book “Quarter Life: The Search for Self in Early Adulthood” - https://satyabyock.com

﻿
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BONUS: Satya Doyle Byock on the quarter-life crisis

In this week’s episode of Agony Aunties, a listener is asking us for healthy ways to move forward after the early death of a brother, who died from addiction, and whose death caused major challenges for the entire family. Let’s begin by saying that there are no quick and easy ways to answer this in a video. This is a profound, life changing challenge, and we really encourage seeking individual therapy, and to explore how the addiction impacted everyone’s relationships, as well as discussing these difficult topics with children to help them understand and process their feelings. 
We’d also like to emphasise self-compassion here, to cope with shame and self-judgment, as there is a major stigma around dying early from addiction, and processing it is not going to be easy. We also go on to suggest that connecting with groups and others who have gone through similar losses can aid in the healing process. Thank you to whoever sent this question in. We’re so sorry to hear about the challenges you’re going through, and we’re really happy that you reached out to speak about it. We hope this helped, in some small way.
﻿Thank you for submitting your questions, and for giving us a chance to help provide some advice. If you have a question, please DM me at @juliasamuelmbe or email jsamuelpod@gmail.com.﻿
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Agony Aunties: Losing someone to addiction

For this week’s episode of Therapy Works, we’re having a special talk about Mental Health Awareness Week, which - this year - is focusing on the theme of movement and its significance in mental health. We have a lot to say on the subject, including some of the language we want to share around Mental Health awareness, and how people are identifying with different states of mental health. If describing the state of our mental health is difficult to verbalise, writing can reveal to us the parts that we keep hidden and unvocalised.
On the theme of movement, we’ll talk about how it can unlock one of the most powerful medicines, as well as making sure we explore our relationship with movement overall. If we’re avoiding it, why is that? And if we’re exercising in order to avoid something else that we’re trying not to feel, that’s something to bring awareness to as well. Also we all find excuses to not do any movement, but it doesn’t have to be high intensity exercise, it can be as small as little walks to break up the day or as Sophie says a little boogie when doing the washing up!

Resources:
To learn more about Mental Health Awareness Week, check out - https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/our-work/public-engagement/mental-health-awareness-week
Otherwise, if you’re in London and want to dance, here’s Pineapple Studios - https://www.pineapple.uk.com
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Movement is Medicine: Mental Health Awareness Week Special

For this week’s episode of Agony Aunties, we’re answering a question from someone struggling after a recent breakup and full of fear of relapsing into a previous nervous breakdown. 
If we go through a really challenging ordeal post breakup, it would make sense that we’d be afraid of how we will be in the future, if another breakup occurs. What’s important to note is that we’re all different people now than we were before. And so, how you’ll process a future challenge isn’t the same way you’ve handled a past challenge. With that being said, we’d also like to acknowledge grief as a natural process, which often involves the full spectrum of emotions. For future challenges, we recommend practicing self-care in many forms, such as seeking therapy, journaling, and spending time with loved ones who provide positive reflections of ourselves. We’ll talk about all of this and more in this week’s episode. 
Thank you for submitting your questions, and for giving us a chance to help provide some advice. If you have a question, please DM me at @juliasamuelmbe or email jsamuelpod@gmail.com.﻿
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BONUS: Julia and her daughters discuss Charles Spencer's interview

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