It's the holiday season which means you may be around some people that push your buttons. One of the best ways to avoid getting too many buttons pushed is setting healthy boundaries. But what exactly are healthy boundaries? When do we set them? And how do we do it in a way that is loving? These are the questions I answer in today's episode.

CC: It's That Time of the Year...Time to Set (and Uphold!) Boundaries

Christine Hassler provides you with practical tools and spiritual principles to help you overcome whatever obstacles might be holding you back.  

Each episode, Christine coaches callers live on the air offering them inspiration and guidance to heal their past, change their present and create what they really want. Topics include: relationships, career, health, transitions, finances, life purpose, spirituality and whatever else callers have questions about. 

Christine coaches "regular people" on problems – and opportunities - we all face.  It's a show that reminds you that you are not alone, while also teaching things you can implement in your own life.

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Welcome to Over It and On With It. I'm your host, Christine Hassler. For over a decade, I've been a life coach, speaker, and author. Each week, you'll hear me work directly with a caller as I coach them through a goal they want to accomplish or an obstacle they may be facing. I'll provide a blend of practical and spiritual advice as well as tangible actions you can apply to your own life. Now let's get on with the episode. Summary In this episode, Christine speaks with Samantha, who is struggling with emotional attachments to two past romantic relationships she ended. Despite being the one to end both relationships, Samantha finds herself constantly thinking about her ex-partners, missing the companionship, and fantasizing about what could have been. Christine helps Samantha uncover the deeper emotional issues rooted in her childhood, specifically her relationship with her father, which have influenced her current difficulties in moving on from these relationships. Consider/Ask Yourself  Are you ruminating or obsessing over past relationships? Do you have unresolved issues from childhood with your parents? Are you still hoping for one of your parents to change and give you what you always wanted?  Guest Insights  Samantha admits that her attachment to past relationships is a way to avoid feeling the actual pain of their endings. She acknowledges that fantasizing about what could have been is a way to distract herself from the hurt. She identifies with a fearful avoidant attachment style, which she believes is linked to her "father wound." Samantha describes her father as someone who was both absent and inconsistent, leading to a deep-seated fear of being alone and unlovable. Christine helps Samantha realize that she has been projecting her unmet childhood needs onto her romantic relationships. Samantha's fear of being alone stems from childhood experiences and a longing for her father's approval and love.  Aha Moments  Christine emphasizes that feeling the pain and moving through it is necessary to avoid repeating the same mistakes in future relationships. By not fully processing the pain, Samantha has been unable to move on. The concept of the "Christ year" at age 33 is significant for personal awakening and transformation. Samantha, being 33, is at a pivotal point where she can choose to either continue her old patterns or embrace deep healing and change. Christine advises Samantha to stop seeing her loneliness as a problem to fix but as a necessary phase to fully experience and understand. By doing this, Samantha can break the cycle of seeking relationships to fill the void left by her father.  How to Get Over It  Feel the Loneliness: Samantha is encouraged to fully feel her loneliness without trying to escape it through distractions or new relationships. This process will help her develop resilience and self-reliance. Inner Child Healing: Christine suggests that Samantha engage in inner child work to address the unresolved issues with her father. This can involve journaling, therapy, and self-reflection to give her inner child the love and validation she missed. Seek Professional Help: Working with a therapist, especially one trained in somatic therapy, can help Samantha stay connected to her body and process her emotions in a healthy way. Practical Exercises: Samantha should write down the truth about her past relationships, focusing on what didn’t work, to ground herself in reality and avoid idealizing her ex-partners. Additionally, she should ask herself how her thoughts make her feel and if she likes feeling that way, then consciously choose thoughts that lead to feelings of peace and freedom.  Sponsor  Storyworth: Preserve precious memories and stories from your father or father figures for years to come. Save $10 on your first purchase when you visit storyworth.com/overit.  Social Media Info:  Follow Christine on Instagram @ChristineHassler Tweet your insights to Christine @ChristineHassler on Twitter Join us next week for another insightful episode where we help you get over it and on with the life you love.   

Episode 452: The Opportunity That Failed Relationships Provide Us With, with Samantha

If you are navigating any kind of change or are considering making a choice that feels authentic but you question how it will impact others, don't miss this episode.  Life Coach, author and speaker  Andrea Owen joins Christine to talk about identity shifts and making choices from our intuition, not our trauma.  Andrea is creating a global impact in women’s empowerment with her books being translated into 19 languages and available in 23 countries.  She helps high-achieving women maximize unshakeable confidence, master their mindset, and magnify their courage. You can learn more at andreaowen.com.

CC: Life Transitions and Making (often hard) Self-Honoring Choices

    In this insightful episode of "Over It and On with It," host Christine Hasler explores a deeply resonant topic—navigating and resolving anger towards one's mother. Our guest, Sarah, shares her struggles with frequent negative interactions with her mother, which are often marred by impatience and rudeness, despite her mother's consistent kindness. This conversation delves into the root causes of Sarah's feelings, the broader implications of parental relationships, and practical steps for healing and self-nurturing. Consider/Ask Yourself:   Do you have unresolved anger or resentment towards a parent that affects your current interactions?   How have your childhood experiences shaped your emotional responses to your parents today?   Are you able to meet your emotional needs independently, or do you find yourself seeking fulfillment from your parents?     Guest Insights:   Sarah recognizes her anger stems from past unmet needs during her childhood, exacerbated by her mother's inability to protect her from an abusive situation.  The conversation reveals Sarah's desire for her mother to push back against her, reflecting her unresolved needs for assertiveness and protection.  Aha Moments:   Realizing the necessity of mourning the 'ideal' parent and accepting the limitations of what one's parents can provide.  Understanding the importance of becoming the source of comfort and security that one sought from their parents.  How to Get Over It:   Embrace self-mothering by acknowledging and nurturing one's inner child.   Implementing practical exercises like visualizations where Sarah comforts her younger self, promoting healing.           Establishing boundaries and new emotional frameworks that do not rely on parental validation. Sponsor:       Caraway Cookware: Non-toxic cookware that combines modern aesthetics with functionality. Special discounts available for listeners at carawayhome.com/overit.       Social Media Info:  Follow Christine on Instagram @ChristineHassler Tweet your insights to Christine @ChristineHassler on Twitter Join us next week for another insightful episode where we help you get over it and on with the life you love.     

Episode 451: How Not to Be Angry at Your Mother with Sarah

Some women are childfree by choice while others are childless due to circumstances, not choice. Lana Manikowski: Certified Life Coach, Keynote Speaker, Infertility Activist and Founder of “The Other's Day Brunch” is on a mission to show that infertile women can create the life of their dreams, even when it didn’t turn out as planned. When a 7-year fertility journey ended without a child - and donor egg & adoption wasn’t for her - Lana yearned for a community who could understand the loneliness, self judgment and grief around navigating a childless future. When she couldn’t find one, she established in 2021 by launching  The “So Now What?” Podcast.    In her coaching practice, Lana helps women navigate a life unexpected. Her 4-part coaching foundation helps guide women through the rediscovery of their purpose, meaning and joy, so they can build a future they truly love. Learn more here: https://lanamanikowski.com/

CC: Infertility and Celebrating "Others Day" with Lana Manikowski

    In this episode, Christine engages in a coaching call with Shelley, who is grappling with the ramifications of her fear of loss in her relationships. Through deep, introspective conversation, Christine helps Shelley uncover the ways in which her attempts to avoid loss may actually be precipitating the very outcomes she fears. Consider/Ask Yourself:   Do you often find yourself sabotaging situations not intentionally, but as a protective measure?   Are you hyper-vigilant in your relationships, constantly preparing for the worst?  Can you recognize how your fear of loss might be contributing to the problems you experience in relationships?    Guest Insights:   Shelley shares her struggles as a highly sensitive person who takes things personally and tends to anticipate negative outcomes, even in positive situations.  She realizes her need for control stems from a deep-seated fear of unexpected negative outcomes, which she tries to preempt by focusing on the negative possibilities.  Aha Moments:   Recognizing that preparing for the worst as a way of coping with fear can inadvertently bring about negative outcomes.  Understanding that her protective behaviors, while meant to safeguard her from pain, are keeping her from experiencing deeper connections and joy in relationships.  How to Get Over It:           Embrace vulnerability by acknowledging and expressing fears without letting them dictate behaviors.   Work on shifting focus from potential loss to the potential for joy and fulfillment in relationships.  Consider therapy or coaching to address underlying fears and learn healthier coping mechanisms.  Social Media Info:  Follow Christine on Instagram @ChristineHassler   Tweet your insights to Christine @ChristineHassler on Twitter Join us next week for another insightful episode where we help you get over it and on with the life you love.     

CC: It's That Time of the Year...Time to Set (and Uphold!) Boundaries

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