 This is a conversation I loved having because it is SO relevant for me right now as a new mom.  We cover mom guilt, parenting shaming, attachment theory, forgiving ourselves orver what what we "should have done" and SO much more.      My guest, Ellen Boeder, MA, LPC has been a licensed psychotherapist since 2003. After getting married and becoming a mother to two children (now 12 and 14 years old), Ellen began to focus primarily on couples in her private psychotherapy and coaching practice.  Ellen is now a certified practitioner of PACT (Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy).,  Ellen enjoys teaching and consulting on relationship topics, writing her blog on motherhood and relationships, is fascinated by nature, spirituality, human development, and studies a range of topics from yoga and meditation to evolutionary sociobiology.  Ellen is also on faculty for the Relationship School—a business founded by her husband, Jayson Gaddis, that provides in depth relationship education and coaching training.   www.ellenboeder.com 

CC: Overcoming Mom Guilt and Creating Secure Attachment

Christine Hassler provides you with practical tools and spiritual principles to help you overcome whatever obstacles might be holding you back.  

Each episode, Christine coaches callers live on the air offering them inspiration and guidance to heal their past, change their present and create what they really want. Topics include: relationships, career, health, transitions, finances, life purpose, spirituality and whatever else callers have questions about. 

Christine coaches "regular people" on problems – and opportunities - we all face.  It's a show that reminds you that you are not alone, while also teaching things you can implement in your own life.

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Welcome to episode 448 of "Over It and On With It." Today, our host, Christine Hassler, engages in a compelling conversation with Lynn, who seeks guidance on boosting her self-confidence. This episode dives deep into the roots of self-confidence, touching on childhood experiences, personal insecurities, and the journey towards radical self-acceptance. Guest Insights:  Lynn discusses her challenges with confidence, particularly in her career as a travel advisor, where she struggles to promote herself effectively. She shares personal anecdotes about her upbringing, including the impact of her parents' divorce and the emotional unavailability of her father, which contributed to her confidence issues.  Aha Moments:  Lynn realizes that her lack of confidence stems significantly from not receiving adequate validation and encouragement during her childhood. Christine introduces the concept of "radical self-acceptance" and challenges Lynn to reflect on her internal judgments that might be hindering her confidence.  How to Get Over It:  Radical Self-Acceptance: Embrace every part of yourself without conditions to foster genuine confidence. Parenting Your Inner Child: Use the parenting skills you apply to your children to nurture and encourage your inner child. Action Steps: Engage in small, manageable acts that build confidence through real-life practice, such as regularly posting about her business.  Consider/Ask Yourself:  Do you struggle with confidence in specific areas of your life? How have your childhood experiences shaped your self-esteem? What does radical self-acceptance mean to you, and how can you practice it?  Sponsor:  Today's episode is sponsored by Caraway Cookware. Experience the joy of non-toxic, beautifully designed cookware. Visit: carawayhome.com/Christine for a special listener discount.  Promo Code: Christine  Social Media Info:  Follow Christine on Instagram @ChristineHassler Tweet your insights to Christine @ChristineHassler on Twitter Join us next week for another insightful episode where we help you get over it and on with the life you love. 

EP 448: How To Feel More Confident with Lynn

Making fear based decisions around money (or really anything in life) keeps you in a dysregulated state ... and further away from the abundance and freedom you crave when it comes to money.  In this episode, I share a three-step process for making aligned, body-based, intuitive financial decisions.    If you are craving a more relaxed relationship with money, my longtime friend Kate Northrup is housing a FREE 3-day workshop called WIDE RECEIVER to help you start healing your relationship with money step-by-step. Register here: katenorthrup.com/christine

CC: Stop Making Fear Based Decisions Around Money

Nedra Glover Tawwab is the author of the New York Times bestseller Set Boundaries, Find Peace. A licensed therapist and sought-after relationship expert, she has practiced relationship therapy for more than fifteen years. Tawwab has appeared as an expert on The Red Table Talk, The Breakfast Club, Good Morning America, and CBS This Morning, to name a few. Her work has been highlighted in The New York Times, The Guardian, and Vice, and has appeared on numerous podcasts, including Good Life Project, Sofia with an F, and Therapy for Black Girls. Tawwab runs a popular Instagram account where she shares practices, tools, and reflections for mental health and hosts weekly Q&As; about boundaries and relationships. She lives in Charlotte, North Carolina, with her family. For more information, see nedratawwab.com.

CC: Drama Free with Nedra Tawwab

This coaching call is about breaking habitual patterns that are no longer needed. Today’s caller, Jenny, is having completely different reactions to different situations. She asks for guidance on how to be consistent in all areas of her life and change her attachment style. Christine discovers that it is not so much about her attachment styles but about the story she tells herself in different situations.   [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode447].   For those of us who experienced a trauma, or when the worst happened or we got in trouble for something, a neural pathway in our minds created a belief that expecting something bad to happen at any moment prepares us for future traumas and the accompanying shock. The shock is what makes trauma stay in our bodies because when we think everything’s fine, and something happens, our system is surprised. It becomes an imprint in our psyche, subconscious, emotional body, and our nervous system. Neural nets create unconscious patterns. When we are triggered we are hijacked by our subconscious.   As we grow and develop we have to update our survival strategies. So many of our survival strategies were formed when we were young. They are outdated. We have updated almost every other tool we use in our lives, yet we haven’t updated our survival strategies. When you have a habitual reaction to something, interrupt the pattern.   If you have a situation where you are bracing, expecting the worst, or getting nervous, do whatever it takes to regulate your nervous system. Take deep breaths and pause to break the habit.   Consider/Ask Yourself:   Do you feel like you’re a different person in different situations?   Are your reactions sometimes much bigger than a situation warrants?   Do you often prepare yourself for the worst even though usually the worst doesn’t happen?   As a kid, was there a part of you that felt like you were in trouble, and that you didn’t get things right?     Jenny’s Question: Jenny would like guidance about why her reactions are different in different situations.   Jenny’s Key Insights and Ahas:   She feels she reacts differently to things at work, in relationships, and when with friends and family.   Her relationship with her parents has changed since childhood.   She often gets anxious at work and feels that she will be in trouble.   She remembers getting in trouble with her father when she didn’t do something right.   She wants validation and love from her father.   She doesn’t feel good enough at work.     How to Get Over It and On With It:   When triggered, regulate her system by putting a hand on her heart and her belly and saying “I’m not in trouble. I didn’t do anything wrong.”   Where is she telling herself she isn’t enough?   Give herself compassion and commitment. Don’t give up!     Takeaway:   When you have a habitual reaction to something, interrupt the pattern and update your survival strategy.     Sponsor: Air Doctor — is an air filter and air purifier that creates the healthiest environment in your home. It filters out dangerous contaminants and allergens with an ultra HEPA filter that removes 99.99% of tested bacteria and viruses. To get peace of mind, order an Air Doctor today with a 30-day money-back guarantee, go to AirDoctorPro.com, and use promo code “Overit” and get up to 39% off filters and $300 off on selected models.   Resources: Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook  Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

EP 447: Why We Have Such Extremely Different Reactions to Different Situations Even Though We Are Still the Same Person with Jenny

Sara Szal Gottfried MD is a physician, researcher, author, and educator. She joins me to talk about her latest book: The Autoimmune Cure: Healing the Trauma and Other Triggers That Have Turned Your Body Against You. She graduated from Harvard Medical School and MIT, and completed residency at UCSF, but is more likely to prescribe a continuous glucose monitor and personalized nutrition plan than the latest pharmaceutical.   Dr. Gottfried is a global keynote speaker and the author of four New York Times bestselling books about hormones, nutrition, and health. Her focus is at the interface of mental and physical health, N-of-1 trial design, personalized molecular profiling, use of wearables, and how to leverage these tools to improve health outcomes. Learn more at SaraGottfriedMD.com

CC: Overcoming Mom Guilt and Creating Secure Attachment

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