In this episode what I’ve decided to do is answer a couple of questions from listeners.
Question #1 from Jacqueline: ““I’m confused about what you call acceptance. Are you saying we should just live with the pain, to tolerate it? I don’t understand how that would be helpful.”
Question #2 from Kevin: “How do I know if something is really, truly holding me back? I’m trying to figure out what things are stopping me from being more confident and some of the things I’m coming up with I don’t know if it’s actually true or if I just think it’s true? Do you know what I mean? I appreciate any help you can give me.”
Have a question? I’m happy to answer it… please send me a message through the Calm Living site or our Facebook page.
 
Episode Transcript
You can download the transcript of this episode by clicking here.
 
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CLB 015: Answers to Listerners’ Questions

It’s only when we stop struggling against our fearfulness, against our anxiety, that we begin to find lasting freedom from it to live the lives we want to live.

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Self-Improvement

Love or fear? Which do you choose?
As I was reflecting on what the topic could be for this podcast episode I became aware that we’ve talked a lot about fear. And, rightly so… I believe that at the heart of all anxiety, depression, self-hatred, feelings of unworthiness… if we go deep enough, if we peel back enough layers… we always find fear at their root.
But I find myself being a bit concerned about focusing on fear so much… I liken my concern to the same reason I don’t believe all those anti-whatever campaigns will ever be effective – anti-drugs, anti-cancer, anti-war and on and on. All the focus of those campaigns is on the darkness. Fighting, battle. The energy behind all those campaigns is fear. And what are you ultimately going to get with fear? Where are you going to get by trying to get rid of the darkness?
So in today’s episode I want to bring in the light.
In a sense we’re still talking about fear… but we’re approaching it differently. We’re not trying to rid ourselves of the darkness, we are bringing in the light.
And to do that I want to talk about love.
Let’s talk about love.
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What is your love manifesto?
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CLB 038: Love or Fear

Okay, fess up. We all do it. I’m talking about comparing ourselves to others.
Yeah. You ever catch yourself doing that while you’re browsing Instagram or Facebook? When you overhear someone’s good news about a job promotion or a vacation that they are taking?
How does comparing yourself to others make you feel? Generally not good, right? So in this episode we’re going to explore why we compare, how we compare and, most importantly, how to break free from this heartbreakingly futile habit.
Key Points Re: Comparing Yourself to Others

* We look at what others are doing and we wish we were doing that too. We look at how others look and we wish we looked the same way. We look at how others act and we wish we acted the same way.
* And all this comparing just makes us feel bad. It’s one of the most common reasons why people are not content with their lives – because we compare ourselves so much to others.
* What we don’t consider or realize, however, is that the truth is we’re comparing ourselves to an ideal, a fantasy. We’re comparing ourselves to something that doesn’t even exist, an illusion our mind has created.
* What is going to serve you better? Wishing you were someone else or loving where you are, loving what you are doing and loving who you are with?
* And think about what we are doing, too, to the person we compare ourselves to… in a sense, we’re doing them a disservice, aren’t we? We end up feeling resentful towards not only ourselves, but towards them, too. A comparison is a type of judgement. We’re judging them. And when we judge someone are we truly loving them?
* How to break free from this habit:

* Bring awareness
* Pause
* Shift your focus
* Accept
* Find inspiration


* There’s a freedom in knowing – in truly knowing – that what we have, who we are – is already enough.

Episode Transcript
You can download the transcript of this episode by clicking here.
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Be aware. Pause. Shift your focus. Accept. Find inspiration.
Catch yourself the next time you’re comparing yourself to others and practice these simple steps.
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I want to know what you thought about this episode. Leave me a review on iTunes or send me a message on the Calm Living Blueprint Facebook Page (are you a fan yet? If not, what are you waiting for, come join our community).

CLB 037: Comparing Yourself to Others

What if you could be the hero of your life?
What if I told you that there is formula to living a heroic life? What if there was a basic framework, a roadmap that anybody could follow in order to become the hero of their own life?
Well, there is. In this episode I’ll walk you through the exact formula step by step…
Key Points Re: Hero of your Life

* The mythologist, Joseph Campbell, discovered a pattern in any story in which an ordinary person accomplishes something heroic – what he called “The Hero’s Journey.”
* The journey begins and ends in a hero’s ordinary world, but the quest passes through an unfamiliar, special world. Along the way there are some key events.
* The Hero’s Journey is ultimately a story of personal transformation. An ordinary person becomes stronger than she thought possible in order to achieve a purpose that is bigger than her.
* Joseph Campbell said, “In the cave you fear to enter lies the treasure you seek.” What’s the symbolic cave you fear to enter?
* It’s about learning the vital truth about yourself and confronting what scares you most.
* There are five things every hero needs in order to complete their quest:

* Purpose
* Allies
* Skills
* Challenges
* Inspiration



Episode Transcript
You can download the transcript of this episode by clicking here.
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Listen for your call to adventure. Or maybe you’ve already heard it, but are ignoring it.
Accept the challenge. Start cutting your own path into that forest.
Conquer your fear.
Claim the treasure that is yours to claim.
And then, do it all over again.
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I want to know what you thought about this episode…
Leave me a review on iTunes or send me a message on the Calm Living Blueprint Facebook Page (are you a fan yet? If not, what are you waiting for, come join our community).

CLB 036: Be The Hero Of Your Life

What’s the only problem you really have?
What is the one illusion that most of us believe, that if we were to question it, to let go of it, would solve all of our so-called problems?
Big set-up, I know.
Have a listen to this podcast episode and decide for yourself if I “deliver’ on the answer 

CLB 035: The Only Problem You Really Have

How do you know if you have trouble dealing with expectations? Well…
Ever have thoughts like “I have to be this, “I should be that,” “I must do this or that?”
Or perhaps you perceive external pressure from others believing that they think you should, have to or must?
Or maybe you say that of others… he or she should, has to or must…
Yeah, we all have had these thoughts at points in our lives. These are expectations – expectations that we put on ourselves, we perceive that others place upon us or that we place upon others.
We can have expectations when it comes to ourselves and others, and we can have expectations when it comes to the situations that we find ourselves in.
Have you found yourself wishing that your current situation was different than what it is?
How often have you wanted a relationship to be something that it is not?
How often have you wished you were something that you are not? Or that someone in your life was different than what they are?
How do you feel when you believe those thoughts? When you believe and apply these expectations?
You feel bad, right? At the very least, not good. Perhaps you feel less than, no good, that you didn’t live up to the expectations. Often the primary emotion is disappointment – disappointment that you didn’t live up to your own expectations or others’ expectations or that other people didn’t live up to your expectations or that your life situation isn’t living up to your expectations.
Ultimately, all expectations end in disappointment or heartbreak.
So, how can we deal with expectations – expectations of ourselves, from others, that we hold others to and of our life situations – so that we no longer feel disappointment as a result?
Key Points Re: Dealing With Expectations

* Let go of judging. Think of nothing that happens as being either “good” or “bad.” Release yourself, others and the situation from judgments.
* Accept the present moment as is. Meet yourself where you are. Meet others where they are.
* What happens when you are no longer burdened by thoughts of judgement?
* Without the human mind, when we aren’t entangled up in our thoughts, things just happen, free of judgment, free of expectations. It’s only when we apply our filter of judgements and expectations set out by our minds, by our egos, that things become disappointing, that people can ever disappoint us.
* When people disappoint you it’s not really their fault. They are just being who they are. It’s no one’s fault. Just be aware that it’s your expectations, which are a function of ego that caused the feelings of disappointment in you.
* When we judge we don’t seek to understand. When we judge we’ve already made up our minds, we’ve already come to our conclusion. So when we stop judging we allow ourselves the opportunity to understand and when we understand better we can make wiser choices, and, as a result, take more effective action based on those wiser choices.

Episode Transcript
You can download the transcript of this episode by clicking here.
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I encourage you to test this out for yourself… are you willing to find out what happens when you let go of expectations and judgements, of yourself, of others, of your life situations?
Let the love in. Give the love out. See how that changes your life.
Let me know how it goes by leaving a comment below, on iTunes or Facebook. I look forward to hearing about your experiences.
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CLB 015: Answers to Listerners’ Questions

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