It’s incredibly easy (and completely normal) to become caught in the heat of the moment and lash out when arguing with our partners. However, it’s not always the most functional behavior, and it almost never aligns with our values. Michaela Thomas, author of The Lasting Connection, is a clinical psychologist who has centered her career around helping women develop love and compassion for themselves and their partners. On this episode of POTC, Jill and Michaela discuss the key elements to building lasting connections and provide evidence-based strategies for incorporating them into your relationships. Listen in to this episode to discover the top reasons modern couples disconnect, engage in a real-time compassion-flow practice, learn strategies for identifying your relationship values, and much more today!

Listen and Learn:

Jill and Yael’s thoughts on incorporating ACT, CFT, Behavioral Therapy for couples

The three elements that help build lasting connections

Expert-approved strategies for identifying when you’re too “hot” or “cold” in your relationship (and practical advice for turning that flame up or down!)

Three critical directions your compassion should be flowing in order to build a lasting, loving connection

Jill and Michaela engage in a real-time exercise for allowing compassion to flow in from others

Evidence-based strategies for moving from high conflict into compassion

Dr. Thomas provides the top reasons modern couples disconnect 

Tips and tricks for identifying your relationship values as a couple


Resources:

Grab your copy of Michaela’s book, The Lasting Connection!

Listen to Michaela’s podcast, Pause Purpose Play.

Take Michaela’s online course, The Compassionate Couple


Check out Debbie, Yael, and Jill’s websites to access their offerings, sign up for their newsletters, buy their books, and more!  


About Michaela Thomas:
Michaela Thomas is a Clinical Psychologist, couples therapist and founder of the private practice The Thomas Connection. Michaela specialises in perfectionism, helping high-striving women let go of the pressure of perfection, to find the balance to burn bright, not burn out. She has authored the book The Lasting Connection - develop love and compassion for yourself and your partner. Michaela can be found on her Pause Purpose Play podcast and on Instagram under @the_thomas_connection. Her online course The Compassionate Couple has been described as 'life changing'.

Related episodes:

Episode 245. Family Firm with Emily Oster

Episode 206. Fair Play Part 2 with Eve Rodsky

Episode 168. Everyday Conversations: How Conversational Style Impacts Relationships with Deborah Tannen

Episode 247. Find Your Unicorn Space with Eve Rodsky


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254. Cultivating Compassion for a Lasting Connection with Michaela Thomas

We are four experts in psychology, bringing you science-backed ideas that can help you flourish in your work, relationships, and health.

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Self-Improvement

As humans, we face this dilemma of wanting to live life to the fullest, but also taking everything for granted, including time. We often only realize the importance of time when we have little time left. Don’t let that be you! In an episode with Jodi Wellman, we dive into her phenomenal book, You Only Die Once: How to Make It to the End with No Regrets. We have about 4,000 Mondays in our lifetime, and if we're halfway through, we have roughly 2,000 to go. The good news is that you are in charge of how you spend those days. Drawing upon principles of positive psychology, practical tips, and research-backed data, Jodi's book will provide you with a fresh perspective and renewed appreciation for life!
Listen and Learn: 

The impetus that made Jodi aware of her deep-seated fear of dying with regrets and inspired her book, You Only Die Once 


Why do we only realize the importance of time when we have little left?

How the Grim Reaper is a prominent character in Jodi’s book and message 

Regrets of commission vs regrets of omission 

What is death reflection?

Ideas for gaining vitality in your life 

Finding meaning in life 

The value in pre-savoring and savoring the things that bring you joy in life  


Resources:


Visit Jodi’s website: https://fourthousandmondays.com/


You Only Die Once: How to Make It to the End with No Regrets

Connect with Jodi on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/fourthousandmondays/


Connect with Jodi on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/fourthousandmondays/


If you are interested in working with Michael: herold.coach/book



About Jodi Wellman
Jodi Wellman is a former corporate executive turned executive coach. She has a Master’s in Applied Positive Psychology from the University of Pennsylvania, where she is an instructor in the Master’s program and a trainer in the world-renowned Penn Resilience Program. She is a Professional Certified Coach with the ICF and a Certified Professional Co-Active Coach from CTI. She has coached and spoken with clients like American Express, Fidelity, pwc, Royal Bank of Canada, BMW, and more, and runs her own business, Four Thousand Mondays. She lives between Palm Springs and Chicago with her husband and cat, Andy. You can watch her inspirational TEDx Talk on how death can bring you back to life.

Related Episodes

157. The Art of Dying Well with Katy Butler

138. Exploring Existence and Purpose: Existentialism with Robyn Walser

242. Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management with Oliver Burkeman

285. What Do You Want Out of Life? Values Fulfillment Theory with Valerie Tiberius

346. Self-compassion Daily Journal with Diana Hill


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351. You Only Die Once with Jodi Wellman

Are you seeking effective strategies to help your anxious child thrive and grow? In an interview with clinical psychologist and best-selling author, Regine Galanti about her book, "Parenting Anxious Kids, Understanding Anxiety in Children by Age and Stage", we talk about the importance of differentiating between "normal" and problematic anxiety in children, spending one-on-one time with kids to build self-esteem, and the use of praise. Regine also describes how parents can focus on changing behaviors rather than controlling feelings. Her book is an incredibly empowering resource and offers many strategies and guidance on creating realistic parenting goals for anxious kids. Whether you're a parent, work with children, or plan to have kids in the future, this conversation is full of valuable tips and science-backed insights!

Listen and Learn: 

What inspired Regine to write Parenting Anxious Kids: Understanding Anxiety in Children by Age and Stage


Why our brains are wired to feel anxiety as an emotion and why it can be a good thing 

How have cultural shifts informed parenting, and what role does anxiety play in this? 

Examples of typical parental worries and fears at different ages and stages that don't mean a child has an anxiety problem

What behaviors cross into problematic anxiety in children?

Explaining accommodation, a fundamental concept in childhood anxiety and parenting

What is reassurance giving, how can this be a problem for your child's anxiety, and how can you respond differently to interrupt the loop?

If a magic button made your child's anxiety completely disappear, how would your child's life be different? How would your life and your family's life be different, if at all?

Introducing the principle of special time and why it's so key to parenting anxious kids

Are anxious kids more sensitive to experiencing shame? 

What is the HALT acronym, and how is it helpful?

Parental strategies for dealing with frustration tolerance issues in the 6-10 age group

Supporting middle and high schoolers with anxious thoughts 


Resources:

Long Island Behavioral Psychology: https://www.longislandbehavioral.com/team



SPACE Treatment: https://www.spacetreatment.net/


Connect with Regine on: 

https://www.tiktok.com/@dr.galanti?lang=en
https://www.instagram.com/regine.galanti/reels/
https://twitter.com/reginegalanti?lang=en

About Regine Galanti
Regine Galanti is a clinical psychologist and best-selling author with expertise in anxiety and OCD in kids and teens. Dr. Galanti started writing in order to share the tools she teaches families in therapy with a wider audience. She also enjoys speaking to parents, schools, and media outlets to share information about effective mental health information in children. She has been quoted in the New York Times, Washington Post, Buzzfeed, and other sources. When she's not working, or writing, she lives in Long Island, NY with her husband and 3 daughters. 

Related Episodes: 

344. Differently Wired Kids with Deborah Reber

332. Middle School Superpowers with Phyllis Fagell

324. Toxic Achievement Culture with Jennifer Wallace

54. Anxiety in Children and Adolescents with Veronica Raggi

14. Mindful Parenting

212. Stuff That’s Loud: OCD and Anxiety with Lisa Coyne and Ben Sedley


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350. Parenting Anxious Kids with Regine Galanti

Want to change your relationship with food? This incredible interview with Judson Brewer, a pioneer in the field of habit change and author of The Hunger Habit: Why We Eat When We're Not Hungry and How to Stop, will not only deepen your understanding of your eating behavior patterns and triggers, but you'll also learn how to completely shift your habits with kindness and curiosity. Listen in for a slew of actionable tips, modern science, and ancient wisdom from Judson; discover which foods are best for your body while still enjoying the foods you like; and strengthen your understanding of how your brain works and how to make permanent changes in your life based on that knowledge.

Listen and Learn: 

How his struggle to help patients with binge eating and overeating led Judson to write The Hunger Habit


What's the issue we're facing as a society and culture with eating and food in general?

Why keeping a healthy diet by measuring what you eat comes with its own set of challenges

How our food consumption instincts have evolved and gotten mixed up in modern times

Identifying the patterns that bring us to eat

How you can practice kindness to facilitate openness and learning from experiences 

Recalling past experiences before engaging in habitual behavior to make better decisions and avoid repeating negative experiences in the future


Resources: 

Visit Judson’s Website: https://drjud.com/


The Hunger Habit: Why We Eat When We're Not Hungry and How to Stop

A simple way to break a bad habit | Judson Brewer | TED

Connect with Judson on Instagram, Twitter, YouTube, and Facebook



About Judson Brewer 
Judson Brewer M.D., Ph.D., is an internationally renowned addiction psychiatrist and neuroscientist. He is a professor in the School of Public Health and Medical School at Brown University. His 2016 TED Talk, “A Simple Way to Break a Bad Habit,” has been viewed more than 19 million times. He has trained Olympic athletes and coaches, government ministers, and business leaders. His first book, The Craving Mind, was published in more than sixteen languages. His second book, Unwinding Anxiety, was an instant New York Times bestseller.

Related Episodes:

188. Unwinding Anxiety with Judson Brewer

167. Get Curious and Change Unhealthy Habits with Judson Brewer

231. Eating Skills and Emotional Eating with Josh Hillis

264. Raising Intuitive Eaters with Sumner Brooks and Amee Severson

31. DBT for Binge Eating with Debra Safer


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349. The Hunger Habit with Judson Brewer

Are you prioritizing quick fixes over lasting joy in our pursuit of health and wellness? With a focus on promoting long-term health behavior changes rather than short-lived fitness programs that quickly lose momentum, we welcome award-winning researcher and sustainable-change coach Michelle Segar. We are honored to interview Michelle, who is the author of the acclaimed book, The Joy Choice: How to Finally Achieve Lasting Changes in Eating and Exercise. Her thirty years of expertise and science-backed research are sure to inspire and enlighten anyone looking to make positive, sustainable changes in their health and lifestyle.

Listen and Learn: 

The main reasons people give for wanting to engage in exercise and health behaviors and why they can get us into trouble

Reasons that would be more effective in helping you get active

The limitations of habit formation when it comes to changing complex behaviors like exercise

Permitting yourself to prioritize self-care

How perfection can become problematic 

Practical strategies for incorporating sustainable exercise into your life 


Resources: 

Michelle’s website: michellesegar.com


The Joy Choice: How to Finally Achieve Lasting Changes in Eating and Exercise

No Sweat: How the Simple Science of Motivation Can Bring You a Lifetime of Fitness

Online beginner ballet: https://brocheballetonline.com/ 

Connect with Michelle on X and LinkedIn



About Michelle Segar
Michelle Segar, Ph.D. is an award-winning, NIH-funded researcher at the University of Michigan with thirty years studying how to help people adopt exercise and other self-care behaviors in ways that can be sustained within the unpredictability of the real world. Her research on creating sustainable change is widely recognized as uniquely pragmatic for real-world applications. An advisor to the World Health Organization on their global physical activity initiatives, Michelle was also selected to be the inaugural chair of the United States National Physical Activity Plan’s Communication Committee. She consults with leading organizations, including Kaiser Permanente, Walmart, WW, Anytime Fitness, Adidas, and Business Group on Health. Michelle’s synergistic combination of academic research with real-world sustainable-change curriculum design and coaching permit her to create engaging and practical sustainable-change systems for digital health and individual coaching/counseling. She certifies professionals in her sustainable-change methods and licenses them to large organizations. Michelle is frequently interviewed about how to help consumers and patients change their mindsets, cultivate lasting motivation and sustainable physical activity in major media outlets including The New York Times, NPR, The Atlantic, Forbes, The Wall Street Journal, The Washington Post, Prevention, Real Simple, and TIME. Michelle’s training and experience is uniquely comprehensive, including a doctorate in Psychology (PhD), a master’s degree in Health Behavior/Health Education (MPH), a master’s degree in Kinesiology (MS) and fellowships in translational research and health care policy from the University of Michigan. She ran with the Olympic Torch at the 1992 Olympics in Barcelona.

Related Episodes: 


132. The Joy Of Movement With Kelly McGonigal 

124. Nutritious Movement and Why it Matters with Katy Bowman

215. How to Change with Katy Milkman

283. Healthy Habits with Dayna Lee-Baggley (Re-release)


318. Your Path to Personal Change with Michelle Drapkin 


135. Power of Empathy and Motivational Interviewing with Stephen Rollnick 


72. Committed Action with DJ Moran 


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348. Sustainable Exercise with Michelle Segar

Almost all of our quality of life is impacted by our careers because we spend so much time at work. As psychologists, we see a lot of anxiety-based patients in our practice. Often, the root of stress or anxiety is having a lot of struggles at work and knowing that something needs to change, but having no idea how to go about it. Here to help you understand and effectively transition in your career no matter the reason, is career coach and author of The Purple Parachute: A Woman's Guide to Navigating the Winds of Career Change, Paula Brand. If you could benefit from some soul-searching and structured guidance around decision-making as you transition into a new career or even if you want to make some changes in your current career, this interview is an empowering listen!

Listen and Learn: 

A glimpse into the ASTER model: Access, Seek, Test, Execute, Repeat 

Why your values are important to the assessment phase of a career change and what you can do to clarify them

How are interests different from values and how you can start identifying what interests you?

The distinctions between the types of professionals who can help you with career transitioning 

Discovering your exceptional qualities

Why your time is better spent uncovering your strengths and finding ways to put them to use, than wasting your energy trying to mitigate a weakness 

How to identify and prioritize your skills

Looking for themes within your VINES (Values, Interests, Natural disposition Exceptional Qualities, and Skills) to help you pursue new roles


Resources:

The Purple Parachute: A Woman's Guide to Navigating the Winds of Career Change

You can access my webpage at paulabrand.com or www.brandcareermanagement.com which shares more information about my services and book.  

Specifically to purchase and find out more about my book, visit landing page for The Purple Parachute: A Woman’s Guide to Navigating the Winds of Career Change is http://www.purple-parachute.com/.

You can download a free copy of The Purple Parachute workbook that contains all the exercises and questions from the book. https://www.brandcareermanagement.com/the-purple-parachute-free-work-book/


If you go to the bottom of my homepage at https://www.brandcareermanagement.com/, you can enter your e-mail to gain access to a PDF download to Uncover Your Work Values.


For BCM:

YouTube:https://www.youtube.com/c/BrandCareerManagement


LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/brand-career-management/


Twitter: Twitter.com/brandcareermgmt


Facebook: Facebook.com/BrandCareerManagement



For the book

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/paula_purple_parachute/


LinkedIn.com/in/paulabrandcareers


About Paula Brand 
Paula Battalia Brand, founder of Brand Career Management, is a Global Career Coach & Consultant, LinkedIn Expert, Speaker, Trainer and Author with a background in human resources, workforce development, training and career counseling. She speaks to groups and provides individual career coaching on using LinkedIn effectively, managing a successful career and navigating through career transitions with a focus on empowering mid-career to executive women to achieve career satisfaction. Organizational clients have included the World Bank Group, the Caribbean Development Bank, and the Executive Educations programs at Johns Hopkins University (JHU).  
 
Paula released her first book in November 2022 on navigating career transitions titled The Purple Parachute: A Woman’s Guide to Navigating the Winds of Career Change. 

Related Episodes

238. Values During Times of Transition (with Us)

265. The Power of Emotions at Work with Karla McLaren

275. Work, Parent, Thrive with Yael Schonbrun

293. Quit with Annie Duke

296. Money and Love with Abby Davisson

299. Leadership and the Changing Workplace with Chris Shipley

328. How to Navigate Change with Brad Stulberg

333. How Work Works with Michelle P. King


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254. Cultivating Compassion for a Lasting Connection with Michaela Thomas

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