Daddy Issues: Attachment Wounding, Dealing with Common Symptoms, and Becoming More Securely Attached

02.20.2023 - By Rick Hanson, Ph.D., Forrest Hanson Play

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If you listen to a podcast like ours, you’re probably familiar with the phrase “daddy issues.” A more accurate way to understand daddy issues is as a form of attachment wounding, which describes situations where our adult relationships are affected by complicated, difficult, or traumatic experiences we had as a child.

In this episode, Forrest and Dr. Rick explore what daddy issues are, how they relate to attachment theory, sexism and the broader social and historical context, different forms of attachment wounding, and a simple way to understand your attachment style. They then walk through four common sets of symptoms and challenges related to attachment wounding, and what a person can do to move toward secure attachment.

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Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

1:50: What are daddy issues?

6:35: Parental roles and symptoms of attachment wounding

13:35: How attachment patterns are created

19:35: Yearning for narcissistic supplies

22:10: Gendered dynamics, and the pejorative use of the phrase “daddy issues”

28:20: Claiming your power

31:15: Forming a coherent narrative, and looking for what was missing

34:50: A simple method for assessing your attachment style

41:50: Social support

44:10: Who you are to others, and meeting person to person

50:55: Situation #1: How to deal with fears of abandonment and being alone

55:00: Situation #2: “I need a lot of reassurance and external validation.”

58:10: Situation #3: Fears related to emotional vulnerability

1:05:15: Situation #4: “I keep dating the same (problematic) kind of person.”

1:10:30: Making deliberate effort

1:14:50: Recap

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