 In a two-man episode of the Round Table (the linear table?), Seth Barron and Spencer Klavan conduct a close reading of Puffin’s changes to the works of Roald Dahl. In collaboration with “Inclusive Minds, a collective for people who are passionate about inclusion and accessibility in children’s literature,” the publishers have decided to tweak Dahl’s work and bring it up to speed with the latest woke nostrums. What could possibly go wrong? Plus: read the damn site!

Dahl-eted

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The Libertarian Party has rejected RFK in favor of a no-name candidate, Chase Oliver—but he’s a far cry from Libertarians of old. Meanwhile, the US military-built aid pier on Gaza’s coast was hit by harsh seas and will become an artificial reef if not repaired soon, shining a light on the degradation of the military’s infrastructure capabilities. Finally, old recognizes old as the Biden admin trots out Robert De Niro for its latest display of irrelevant celebrities. The editors analyze the headlines before reminding you to read the damn site.   Recommended reading: Why Johnny Can’t Build The Closing of the Internet Mind  The Way Forward Spring 2024 Claremont Review of Books

Sinking Parties… and Piers

Scarlet Johansson is "shocked" and "angered" that even though she declined to voice ChatGPT 4.0, OpenAI CEO Sam Altman seems to have plugged an imitation of her voice into the software. And you thought Her was fiction. Meanwhile, Iranian President Ebrahim Raisi has been confirmed dead after his Vietnam-era helicopter crashed, plunging Iran—already in a precarious political position—into an even more uncertain future. What is the U.S.'s position in all this, and how can we play the bad hand we find ourselves holding? Finally, who could forget that Donald Trump is on trial in New York? Certainly not CNN, who can’t seem to find anything else to talk about. The editors discuss what may lie in store for the U.S. before reminding you to read the damn site!   Recommended reading: The Closing of the Internet Mind School Choice Revolutionary  The Virtues of Settler Colonialism Civil Rights Stay Gay

A Dangerous Empire to Lose

The Boy Scouts abandoned manly virtue for DEI and participation medals long ago. This killed enrollment numbers, but the Scouts are doubling down, rebranding to “Scouting America” and advertising their willingness to accept boys and girls (and presumably enbies) just as they are. Meanwhile, Biden’s particular brand of senile venom was on full display when he crossed himself in the name of abortion. In more heartening news, The Guardian's attempt to dox formerly anonymous X poster “Lomez” seems to have backfired spectacularly. The editors read between the lines, before reminding you to read the damn site.   Recommended reading:  Expropriation: The End Game of Anti-Whiteness Bonsai Children Pursuit of Happiness The Great Divergence Scouts' Honor

Borg Scouts

Filled with apparent panic at Biden's low standing among "the youth," the Administration pulled out all the stops this week with a press conference featuring...Mark Hamill? Was that the best they could do? Maybe, as student riots and protests continue to emphasize Biden's rowdy kids problem--not that the Right is quite sure how to respond to campus antisemitism, either. Elsewhere in academia, the rolling replicability crisis continues apace, indicating once again that data worship is a mistake. The editors survey the landscape of new age Star-Wars-ism, free speech unease, and COVID-style crises of authority.

Go See a Star War

As the global intifada marshals its ranks across American campuses, bemused observers are wondering what exactly the protestors want, and whether they'll show up at the DNC this year. Meanwhile, a group called Catholic Answers created and then promptly "defrocked" an "Al Priest" who took a hard line on matters of sexuality but proved remarkably lax in the baptism department. Given that Al language models and image creation tools are being trained on troves of unvetted data from the internet--some of it including child pornography--we might not want to ordain them as our priests. The editors discuss all this, plus the Left's endgame for Trump, before reminding you to read the damn site.

Dahl-eted

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