Dealing with Emotionally Immature People (and Parents) with Dr. Lindsay Gibson

04.15.2024 - By Rick Hanson, Ph.D., Forrest Hanson Play

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Dr. Lindsay Gibson joins the podcast to share her groundbreaking work on emotional maturity. Forrest and Dr. Gibson explore how growing up with emotionally immature caregivers can affect our adult relationships, and what we can do to recover from these experiences, build healthier patterns, and disentangle from emotionally immature people. They start by discussing what emotional immaturity means, some of its key characteristics, and the consequences of growing up with emotionally immature parents. They then talk about how we can move away from “role-self” and develop a deeper connection with who we really are. You’ll learn practical tools for recognizing emotionally immature people, managing your relationships with them effectively, and establishing healthy boundaries.

About our Guest: Dr. Lindsay Gibson is a clinical psychologist and the author of a number of books including Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents and Disentangling from Emotionally Immature People. Her most recent work is the Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents Guided Journal.

You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Topics:

0:00: Introduction

1:20: What is emotional immaturity?

7:25: Affective realism and involuntary coping mechanisms

14:00: An example of a childhood with emotionally immature caregivers

18:50: The “role-self,” and how children respond to a parent’s lack of empathy

25:15: Receiving guidance from the authentic self

29:25: How the role-self affects relationships in adulthood

41:25: Healthier relationships by connecting with the authentic self

50:10: Letting go of healing fantasies in adult relationships

56:10: Guilt, emotional coercion, fear of loneliness, and finding optimal distance

1:02:55: How to identify with yourself as a secure base

1:06:20: Recap

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Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there.

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