Steve is delighted to be joined by his 15 year old daughter, Kaylee. Kaylee is a foremost expert on the TV show Gilmore Girls AND she has sat through enough of Steve’s workshops (and, frankly, dinner conversations) that she is able to diagnose the anxiety in the System of Gilmore Girls. Steve and Kaylee cover triangulation, double binds, mixed messages and more. 
 
Note: www.capablelife.me membership prices increase Sept 15th. Join now before the price goes up. 
 
Also, our journals are now available for sale! You can use the above link to order a journal. 

 
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Ep148:Gilmore Girls and Systems Theory

A new podcast from Christianity Today, Being Human with Steve Cuss is Christian counseling in podcast form. Steve Cuss, a former trauma and hospice chaplain, pastor, and leadership coach, guides listeners with a gospel-informed journey of discovery into the world of emotional health: everything from anxiety and reactivity, to triangulation, overfunctioning, and the Enneagram.

Religion & Spirituality

Other

Spirituality

Christianity

Buddhism

Hinduism

Judaism

Islam

Health & Fitness

Mental Health

Gender dynamics in the workplace.
What to do when you’re the only one of your kind in the room.
The power dynamics and damage of the #MeToo and #ChurchToo scandals.
These are some of the heavy topics that Steve Cuss and his guest, leadership development expert Kadi Cole, consider on this episode of Being Human. Their conversation draws upon Cole’s years spent developing women leaders and working with diverse teams as one of the world’s foremost leaders in helping organizations navigate healthy gender dynamics.
Cuss and Cole talk about the ways people camouflage themselves to fit into a group, how men and women handle inner confidence differently, and what it looks like to be ourselves in Christ. Their discussion covers how leaders can cultivate safe environments that allow people to show up as they are, the effects of powerful leaders with unaddressed childhood wounds, and how Cole’s background as a nurse prepared her to engage executive leadership with a holistic perspective.
They also talk about Momentum Marketplace, Cole’s new initiative to help young, kingdom-minded leaders be mentored in the marketplace.
The Expectation Gap by Steve Cuss is now available!
Resources mentioned in this episode include:


Kadi ColeDeveloping Female Leaders: Navigate the Minefields and Release the Potential of Women in Your Church by Kadi Cole


Find Your Leadership Voice in 90 Days: How to show up, speak up, and stand out with confidence by Kadi Cole

“Code switching, covering, masking and social camouflage”

Momentum Marketplace


The Expectation Gap: The Tiny, Vast Space between Our Beliefs and Experience of God by Steve Cuss


“Being Human with Steve Cuss” is a production of Christianity Today
Executive Produced by Erik Petrik and Mike Cosper
Produced and Edited by Matt Stevens
Associate Producers: McKenzie Hill, Raed Gilliam, and Abby Perry
Theme song by Dan Phelps
Original Music by Andy Gullahorn
Mix Engineer: Kevin Morris
Graphic Design: Amy Jones
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Men, Women, Power, and Health with Kadi Cole

Is the gospel primarily preventative or redemptive? What did Jesus emphasize between the two? 
In this episode of Being Human, Steve is joined by his wife, the Friendly Neighborhood Therapist, Lisa, to consider these questions. They talk about faith gaps, how human development affects the ways we approach faith, and comparing ourselves to the pillars of the faith.
Cuss also reads from his upcoming book, The Expectation Gap, which releases on May 28th. Listeners can preorder here. Get your preorder bonuses here!
Resources mentioned in this episode include: 

The Gap

“Grieve, Breathe, Receive” with Steve Carter

Camino De Santiago


John F. Kennedy, Jr. playing under the Resolute Desk 

The Crown


Get Out of My Life, but First Could You Drive Me & Cheryl to the Mall: A Parent's Guide to the New Teenager by Anthony E. Wolf


Aurora Leigh by Elizabeth Barrett Browning


The Expectation Gap: The Tiny, Vast Space between Our Beliefs and Experience of God by Steve Cuss


Preorder bonuses for The Expectation Gap



“Being Human with Steve Cuss” is a production of Christianity Today 
 Executive Produced by Erik Petrik and Mike Cosper 
 Produced and Edited by Matt Stevens 
 Associate Producers: McKenzie Hill, Raed Gilliam, and Abby Perry
 Theme song by Dan Phelps 
 Original Music by Andy Gullahorn 
 Mix Engineer: Kevin Morris 
 Graphic Design: Amy Jones
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Is the Gospel Preventative or Redemptive?

Steve Cuss has a special burden for pastors and church staff. As someone who spent 27 years in such roles, he knows the unique challenges personally. On this episode, Cuss shares some of his own journey, including how he struggled with conflating his identities as a child of God and what felt like being an employee of God.
Cuss talks about the gap between what we believe about God and what we experience from God. He guides listeners through the story of Peter walking on water (Matt. 14). Cuss discusses peace, freedom, and love, inviting us to help our body align with our head beliefs so we can relax into God’s presence.
Cuss also reads from his upcoming book, The Expectation Gap, releasing May 28, which listeners can preorder here. Preorder bonuses are available here.
Resources mentioned in this episode include:


Managing Leadership Anxiety: Yours and Theirs by Steve Cuss

“From a Distance”

Matthew 14


The Expectation Gap: The Tiny, Vast Space between Our Beliefs and Experience of God by Steve Cuss


Preorder bonuses for The Expectation Gap



“Being Human with Steve Cuss” is a production of Christianity Today
Executive Produced by Erik Petrik and Mike Cosper
Produced and Edited by Matt Stevens
Associate Producers: McKenzie Hill, Raed Gilliam, and Abby Perry
Theme song by Dan Phelps
Original Music by Andy Gullahorn
Mix Engineer: Kevin Morris
Graphic Design: Amy Jones
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The Expectation Gap

“Did you have integrity today?”
That’s the question that Steve Carter, author, podcaster, and former lead teaching pastor of Willow Creek Community Church, pictured his son asking him when allegations of sexual harassment against Bill Hybels emerged. Carter realized he couldn’t go “play church.” He had to take the allegations seriously and act with integrity, which, for him, looked like resigning.
On this episode of Being Human, Cuss and Carter discuss what it looks like to have integrity when mentors and institutions fail us. They talk about the heartbreak of losing beloved communities, navigating relationships when people feel betrayed, and how difficult it is to see broken systems when inside them. 
Carter shares how he has dealt with the weight of being misunderstood, the way some of his highest values were wielded against him, and what it was like to deal with public loss and accusation as an Enneagram Three. He and Cuss talk about the power of the resurrection and the two Greek words that became an anchor for Carter. And they discuss what propelled Carter to write Grieve, Breathe, Receive—a stunning memoir on grief and healing that recounts Carter leaving Willow Creek Church, entering a wilderness season, and enduring loss upon loss upon loss, from income and reputation to precious family members and more.
Resources mentioned in this episode include: 


Luke: Interpretation: A Bible Commentary for Teaching and Preaching by Fred B. Craddock

Steve Carter


Craft & Character with Steve Carter


Grieve, Breathe, Receive: Finding a Faith Strong Enough to Hold Us by Steve Carter


The Thing Beneath the Thing: What's Hidden Inside (and What God Helps Us Do About It) by Steve Carter

Willow Creek Community Church

“Managing Leadership Anxiety: Yours and Theirs” 

“Cadet Prayer”

Annie F. Downs

Ira Glass

Camino De Santiago

“What Is a Verbatim?”

Compassion International

“Welcoming Practice”

The Worst James Harden Flops


“Being Human with Steve Cuss” is a production of Christianity Today 
 Executive Produced by Erik Petrik and Mike Cosper 
 Produced and Edited by Matt Stevens 
 Associate Producers: McKenzie Hill, Raed Gilliam, and Abby Perry
 Theme song by Dan Phelps 
 Original Music by Andy Gullahorn 
 Mix Engineer: Kevin Morris 
 Graphic Design: Amy Jones
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Grieve, Breathe, Receive with Steve Carter

A systems theorist walks into an organization and orders playfulness and earnestness.
This isn’t just a silly take on a joke format—it’s a tested method of determining whether or not teams have what it takes to go the distance. As host Steve Cuss explains on this episode of Being Human, too much seriousness on a team tends to lead to rigidity, but playful teams tend to be able to handle ambiguity and challenges. 
Could the same be true for worship?
Sometimes we get too earnest and everything gets rigid. In this episode Steve looks at the power of playfulness in your people, how ot notice when things are getting too earnest and stuck and the relationship between playfulness and worship. Steve also teaches us how to use a Life Giving List to help us relax into God’s presence. You can download a life giving list template here. 
Tune in for an episode that invites us to treasure our faith through playful presence with God.
Click here to pre order Steve’s new book.
Resources mentioned in this episode include: 

Bowen family systems theory


Death by Meeting: A Leadership Fable About Solving the Most Painful Problem in Business by Patrick Lencioni


Orthodoxy by G.K. Chesterton

“Letter XLVI” by Saint Bernard of Clairvaux


The Expectation Gap: The Tiny, Vast Space between Our Beliefs and Experience of God by Steve Cuss


Generation to Generation: Family Process in Church and Synagogue by Edwin Friedman


“Being Human with Steve Cuss” is a production of Christianity Today 
 Executive Produced by Erik Petrik and Mike Cosper 
 Produced and Edited by Matt Stevens 
 Associate Producers: McKenzie Hill, Raed Gilliam, and Abby Perry
 Theme song by Dan Phelps 
 Original Music by Andy Gullahorn 
 Mix Engineer: Kevin Morris 
 Graphic Design: Amy Jones
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Ep148:Gilmore Girls and Systems Theory

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