Esther Perel: The #1 Secret to Know if Your Chemistry Will Last & Why You’re Addicted to Your Ex

Do you want to know the secret to know if your chemistry will last? 

Are you wondering why you can't move on from your ex?

If you have questions about love and relationships, this episode is for you. Psychotherapist and New York Times bestselling author Esther Perel is back. Esther is recognized as one of today’s most insightful and original voices on modern relationships. Esther’s TED Talks have garnered more than 40 million views and her bestselling books, Mating in Captivity and The State of Affairs, are global phenomena. Esther is also the host of the hit podcast Where Should We Begin? which is available on Apple Podcasts.

If you've ever wondered when a relationship is worth saving or why we grieve after a breakup, Esther has incredible insights to share that you can apply to your own relationship. Let's discover the power of accountability in relationships and how it can trigger positive change. We discuss the art of turning conflict into connection. Also, we uncover the negative effects of losing curiosity and how it impacts our connections.

The conversation also fearlessly tackles the topics of betrayal, lack of trust, and the intersection of relationships, technology, and mental health. Get ready for a fascinating exploration of the narratives that shape our relationships, the dynamics between rationalists and romantics, and what truly makes a real relationship.

In this interview, you’ll learn:

How to turn conflicts into genuine connection

Why relationships often fail

How to save your correct relationship

What to do after a breakup

How to boost trust and confidence in a relationship

It is truly a thought-provoking and heartfelt journey into the essence of human connection.

With Love and Gratitude,

Jay Shetty

Thank you to Soho Works 10 Jay in Dumbo for hosting us for this episode.

What We Discuss:

00:00 Intro

02:12 When is a Relationship Worth Saving?

03:51 Why Do We Grieve After a Breakup?

05:14 Accountability in Relationships Can Trigger Change

10:00 How to Turn Conflict Into Connection 

14:10 People Try to Overcome Fear by Gaining Control

17:14 The Negative Effects of the Loss of Curiosity

22:09 Blaming the Other Doesn’t Solve Anything

27:21 How to Make Your Partner Feel Important 

29:10 Other Mediums to Express What You’re Unable to Say

36:01 Do New Things Together

38:08 There are Lingering Feelings that Stays Even After Breakup

41:53 We All Fear Betrayal and Lack of Trust

43:35 How to Value and Protect Your Relationship

50:50 The Real Story Before and After Betrayal

55:33 The Intersection of Relationships, Technology, and Mental Health

01:01:50 The False Relationship Narrative that Failed us

01:04:22 The Rationalists and the Romantics

01:06:23 What Makes for a Real Relationship?

01:10:04 Diversifying Long-Term Relationships

01:15:55 Your Partner’s Opinion Matters

01:21:11 The Real Definition of Self Confidence

01:24:59 We Are Drawn to People We Don’t Want to Become

01:28:03 Where Should We Begin A Game of Stories with Esther Perel

Episode Resources:

Esther Perel | Website

Esther Perel | Twitter

Esther Perel | Instagram

Esther Perel | YouTube

Esther Perel | Facebook

Esther Perel | Books

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel

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