Four Primary Ideas – 389

What are the four primary ideas? How have they been active in my recovery?.

* We are powerless over the problem of alcoholism.

* Step 1: We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.

* Admitting my powerlessness freed me to come to Al-Anon

* It took many events to bring true acceptance of my powerlessness

* I could not find serenity and peace in my life until I accepted my powerlessness

* We can turn our lives over to a Power greater than ourselves.

* Step 2: Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

* I don’t have to do it alone.

* The groups and the literature are a source of help / new ideas / tools.

* Step 3: Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.

* I discovered that if I listen, if I pay attention, I will get guidance.

* “Still, small voice”

* Other members

* “coincidences” 

* The phrase “care of” God is important to me.

* We need to change both our attitude and our actions.

* What attitudes did I need to change?

* I know what is best for my loved one.

* It is my duty to “fix” other people.

* If I can’t, I am a failure.

* What actions came from those attitudes?

* All the things I did to try to convince her to stop drinking

* Raging

* But also,

* I’m not allowed to be happy unless others are happy.

* It is selfish to do things I want to do, if others don’t want to do those things

* My well-being is dependent on my loved ones’ well-being.

* I need your approval to know that I am a good person.

* And what actions came from those attitudes?

* Putting others' needs and wants ahead of mine.

* Not knowing my own needs and wants.

* Not doing things that I want to do

* Approval seeking

* We keep Al-Anon’s gifts by sharing them with others.

* You were there for me!

* When I listen to you, I hear my own experience. (“How is that you are living inside my head?!”) This won’t happen if I’m not in a meeting or talking with another member.

* Being a sponsor required that I dig deeper into my own recovery.

* Sharing my own ESH reminds me of where I came from and how much progress I have made. It inspires me to keep on working.

Readings and Links

We read from the 2022–2025 Al-Anon Alateen Service Manual, p. 20, “Four Primary Ideas”

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