Most of us go through some type of toxic relationship in our lives. Whether it’s a romantic relationship, a friendship or within a family dynamic. A toxic relationship is any relationship that makes you feel worthless or devalued. Toxic relationships can include dealing with a loved one who’s a complete narcissist, an alcoholic, a gambling addict or even a pathological liar. Essentially, toxic relationship behaviors are the result of an absence of empathy. 

Toxic relationships are cyclical because the toxicity begins within you! The path to better relationships begins with you. How do you get out? How do you begin to heal? You will have to unlearn your old relationship standards and behaviors. You do not have to compromise your beliefs, values and moral ever again, just to have love in your life. 

"Even though you may want to move forward in your life, you may have one foot on the brakes. In order to be free, we must learn how to let go. Release the hurt. Release the fear. Refuse to entertain your old pain. The energy it takes to hang onto the past is holding you back from a new life. What is it you would let go of today?" – Mary Manin Morrissey 

IT’S NOT EASY TO LET GO. Learning how to love yourself is crucial when leaving a toxic relationship. It’s a self-discovery process necessary for you to maintain sanity. It takes strength, confidence, and self-respect to change your situation. It’s never too late to make a change either. 

People are married for 30-40 years with children and grandchildren, and finally decide to put their own happiness and mental health first. It’s absolute BULLSHIT to believe that you’re helpless, and that it’s simply too late, and you’re just going to ride out the struggle of unhappiness for the rest of your life. 

There are probably hundreds of thousands of people who are stuck in toxic relationships, you’re NOT alone. If someone is behaving in a way that truly bothers you, SPEAK UP. You’re ALLOWED to set boundaries and have components of your relationship that are NON-NEGOTIABLE. 

Leave the past in the past but learn from your mistakes by reflecting on past relationships. What attracted you to that person? What made you stay with that person? What were the positive aspects of the relationship? What were the negatives aspects of the relationship? Is there a pattern between the factors that draw you into these negative, toxic relationships?

Your happiness is just as important as anyone else’s, that’s not being selfish either, that’s having self-respect.