Did you get to learn about social skills when you went to school? Did someone teach you how to interact with others and feel confident? One of the problems with the school system is that it doesn't focus on the skill that might be the most important of all, social skills. How to feel more confident talking to new people? How to feel less nervous in social situations? Today we are diving into the challenges that we have had in our social life. This episode is focused on exploring Emil's struggles with feeling nervous and awkward around new people and social situations. What he did to come over it, how long it took and what are his best tips to learn social skills. -- Today's episode is a personal development episode, where Erik and Emil explore topics about how to grow as a person. We are both personal development junkies and spend many hours every week sharing our ideas and reading about new things. This episode is great for you who want to learn about our latest perspective. We share lots of personal stories, talk about how it applies in our lives, and where we have learned it from. -- This episode was spontaneous and unplanned. We wanted to keep the conversation as real and genuine as possible and instead of planning, we dove into it. The focus became on exploring how Emil locked himself into a bubble of online poker for 10 years and during this time just stayed in his comfort zone. When his girlfriend broke up with him he had to start socializing with others and found that he couldn't even talk to women. He asked himself "How to feel less nervous in social situations?" and "How to feel more confident talking to new people?" He started challenging himself, growing his comfort zone, had friends to learn together with, and went from being socially challenged to someone who now loves social situations, meeting new people, and values his social skills as one of his main talents.

#64 - How to feel less nervous in social situations?

Becoming Great.com has one big goal - to be the podcast in the world with the most value-per-minute. 

The creators Erik Bergman and Emil Ekvardt spend over 100 hours preparing each episode to accomplish this goal. And, of course, it’s ad-free. 

Super entrepreneur Erik Bergman made 50 million euros before turning 30. Now he is building Great.com, a company that will give away all its profits to charity. 

Emil Ekvardt became a USD millionaire from professional poker at a young age. Now he runs a personal development coaching business. 

Becoming Great.com is a podcast that will profoundly transform your life by going into a range of essential topics that school misses to teach you - such as confidence, relationships, dealing with overthinking, and how to make money from your passion.

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This is a deep guide to happier relationships and the skill of empathy. Learning this skill will make you important in other people's lives. You will be able to know what to say in difficult situations and solve almost any conflict. In this episode we will dive into six different topics. Topic 1 - Why empathy is important  Empathy is a complicated word. In our first topic we will explain what it means and how it feels.  We used to be bad at empathy ourselves, without even knowing, so here we will also dive into how to know if you are good or bad at empathy. Topic 2 - 4 Stages of empathy  This topic is about the 4 stages of empathy that you will climb on your way to mastering this skill.   You will learn which stage you are currently at, and what the next step is for moving forward.  Topic 3 - Behaviours that block empathy  This topic covers the main goal of empathy - and 3 common misunderstandings that makes most of us fail at this goal.   Becoming aware of these common misunderstandings is the first step to moving up the empathy ladder.  You will learn all the behaviours that block empathy - so you can stop doing them, and spot them in others. Topic 4 - How to give more empathy  This topic will deepen your understanding of what state of mind you need to be in to give empathy to others.   You will learn useful techniques that will allow you to build trust and have deeper conversations with anyone you meet.  Topic 5 - How to receive more empathy  This topic is all about getting other people to give us more empathy and understand our emotional experiences.  When we get good at this we will have many more friends, feel less lonely and have other people genuinely want to be there for us and help us out when we are in pain.   You will learn how to get other people to understand and care about us Topic 6 - When empathy is your superpower  This topic is all about how you can use the skill of empathy to turn difficult relationship experiences like anger, conflict and frustration into positive experiences.   When empathy is your superpower, it will be your number one tool for happy relationships.   You will learn practical techniques that you can use each time you feel angry or there is conflict in your relationships.  -- Social media channels: http://linktr.ee/smilingerik http://linktr.ee/emil.e

#89 - Empathy | A Guide To Happier Relationships

For you listening, today you will learn the answer questions like "Why are we lying?", "How can I be more honest?", "How can I stop lying?", "How can I make others stop lying to me?" and much more! In this episode, we will dive into five different topics. Topic 1 - Lying to avoid difficult conversations. These are the kind of lies we tell our friends and family members when we are put in difficult situations. Lies like saying we would love to visit our parents in law, when we actually don't, or saying that sure we want to come to that dinner, when in fact we would rather stay home. When are these lies a good option, and what are the effects of them? Topic 2 - Lying to avoid responsibility These are the kind of lies we tell to avoid taking responsibility. Often we tell these lies to ourselves and never even notice. It can be things like "I would go to the gym if I had the time" or "I would quit my job if I could afford the risk". What is the good things about lies like this, and when do they make your life worse? Topic 3 - White lies  These are the lies we tell to protect someone else's feelings. The tricky thing about them is that they almost always have hidden intentions that we don't even know ourselves when we say them. How can we understand these lies better? And when are they good to use? Topic 4 - Lying to get something These are the lies we tell to get something. Money, status, attention or even freedom. How can using these lies make your life better? And if you never get caught, what are the effects of these lies? Topic 5 - Toolbox for honesty In many situations where we lie, honesty would be the better option. But honesty is hard. In our toolbox we give you 6 steps to how you can have difficult conversations of things that we commonly lie about. We will also answer questions like "Why are we lying?", "How can I be more honest?", "How can I stop lying?", "How can I make others stop lying to me?" and much more! -- Social media channels: http://linktr.ee/smilingerik http://linktr.ee/emil.e

#88 - Lying | 4 kinds of lies. When to use them, and when not to

For you listening, today you will learn: How everybody have values they don't even know about, and how these values secretly runs out lives. How these values are the reasons why we make certain decisions and why we take different actions. And how you by understanding your values better can create lots of meaning in everyday life, get access to more energy, excitement and motivation. All of this, you will learn today! This episode is split up in five different topics: Topic 1: How values are born. In this topic, you will learn why you can’t just look at a list of values from a leadership book and chose the one that sounds best, like honesty, or philanthropy, or bravery. Instead, we explore how all values are born from emotional experiences and unless they are lived, they won’t matter. Topic 2: How values fail us. In this topic, you will also understand that not all values are positive. You can have values you feel ashamed of and would never admit. You can also have values that make your life worse. In other words, values that fail us. In this topic, you will learn how to detect and change failing values faster. Topic 3: How to find better values. If your values are doing a good job, your life will feel great. On the other hand, if your values work poorly or you don’t know your values, you are likely to feel anything from confusion to a feeling that your entire life is empty and meaningless.  Topic 4: How values guide you Values are an internal compass guiding us to a better life, but what happens when the compass breaks down? Many of us want to be guided by our values, but unless we are willing to be in touch with our feelings, that won’t be possible. In this topic we will learn what happens when we ignore the internal compass, and also how to start being guided again. Topic 5: How we, Emil and Erik found our core values Make sure to listen to the 5th topic because here we share the top values we believe are essential to embody to live a great life. And we are also answering questions like: How do you find your personal values? How to understand yourself? What are values? Where do values come from? And much more! Learn about what are personal values and how can you use their benefits today! -- Social media channels: http://linktr.ee/smilingerik http://linktr.ee/emil.e

#87 - Personal Values | The truth of who you are (and what secretly runs your life)

Today we will talk about "long-term thinking". What does it even mean to "think long term" and how can you listening apply it in your life? What are the small practical ways to use "long-term thinking" today to make sure your life gets better? We will teach you how to use long-term thinking to solve everyday problems like: - What should I eat today? - I don't want to go to the gym! - And, I don't have enough money! All these problems can be solved with long-term thinking! What is long-term thinking? And what are long-term thinking benefits? Topic 1: What is long-term thinking? And why should you care? We discuss why we believe long-term thinking is one of the most important mindsets you can have and how it will make everything in your life exponentially better. Topic 2: Long-term thinking within health. We use long-term thinking to find unexpected ways to make your sleep, exercise and eating habits both easier and better over time. Topic 3: Long-term thinking within relationships. A strategy you need to build communication skills and a social circle that keeps getting stronger throughout your life. And just a heads up, Erik takes this to the extreme. Long-term thinking within relationships. Long-term thinking around money.  Topic 4: Long-term thinking around money. Money can create stress and worry, either by not having any, or by not knowing a smart way to invest them. We explore a long-term strategy for solving both those problems. And we are also answering questions like: What does long-term thinking mean? What are examples of long-term thinking? What are the best strategies for long-term thinking? What are the benefits of long-term thinking? How does long term thinking apply in business? And much more! Learn about what is long-term thinking and what are the long-term thinking benefits today! -- Books discussed: King, Warrior, Magician, Lover - Robert Moore Podcast episodes recommended: About communication: Becoming Great.com, episodes 76, 77 and 78. About the relationships with yourself: Becoming Great.com, episodes 84 and 85. -- Social media channels: http://linktr.ee/smilingerik http://linktr.ee/emil.e

#86 - Long-Term Thinking | How to apply it for money, health & relationships

If your confidence is low, you will have so many regrets. You will be too afraid to start that business, you will not tell that person you love them, and you will let people walk all over you. School never taught you how to build self-confidence - and it never taught us. As a result, we suffered from low confidence, and we have lots of regrets. So we had to learn how to build strong confidence ourselves. We learned that confidence is not something you are born with, confidence is a skill - a skill that you listening will learn today. Today we both run businesses, we challenge ourselves daily on social media and we've both found the women of our dreams. All thanks to the confidence we have built. We don't want you to suffer as we did. Today we will teach you the skill of confidence. Today's episode is split up into 5 topics about how to build self-confidence and get strong confidence over time. 1. When our confidence has failed us. We share personal stories from when we have suffered from low confidence and what the consequences have been. We show that confidence is not something you are born with - it's a skill you can learn - and we introduce the concept of the four pillars of confidence. 2. The first pillar - Experience Here, we teach you how to build self-confidence for something you are horrified to do. And we show how building strong confidence in one area will spill over in lots of other areas. 3. The second pillar - Control Here, we will talk about the most common mistake that leads to low confidence. A mistake that both of us have done over and over, and that you listening are most likely doing as well. 4. The third pillar - Values Here we talk about the importance of choosing what values you will build your self-confidence on. Most of us have never chosen our values but just been brainwashed into certain ideas by movies or parents, which leads to low confidence. We will show you how to break free. 5. The fourth pillar - Reflection In our final topic, we talk about the most misunderstood part about building self-confidence - reflection. This is the stage where you both find how to build strong confidence in your own way, and where you cement in your confidence over time. -- These are the questions from the reflection toolbox: - What is important to me right now? - Why is this important to me? - Do I want this to be important to me? - Is what's important to me within my full control? Once you know what is important to you, why it's important to you and you know that it's in your control, you ask: - Knowing what's important to me, how should I take action? -- Social media channels: http://linktr.ee/smilingerik http://linktr.ee/emil.e

#64 - How to feel less nervous in social situations?

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