How To Let Go Without Giving Up

War veteran and country music singer Sal Gonzalez tries the Taoist practice of Wu Wei to improve his relationship with anger.

Link to episode transcript: https://tinyurl.com/yavaw23d

Episode summary:

For Iraq war veteran Sal Gonzalez, relying on anger had become second nature — and while this emotion was beneficial for him on the battlefield, Sal found it difficult to manage his anger when readjusting to civilian life. For our show Sal tried a 5 step practice of Wu Wei. Rooted in the ancient Chinese philosophy of Taoism, Wu Wei is focused on setting strategic intentions and accepting difficult situations, rather than resisting them. After trying the practice, Sal reflected that he doesn’t have to give up anger entirely, rather, he can be more intentional about choosing when to use it. We later hear from Dr. Doris Chang, the clinical psychologist who developed a 5 step methodology of practicing Wu Wei, to learn more about the impact of acceptance and non-action.

Practice:

Articulate: Identify your goals and values in life.

Self-Assess: Take note of your role and the role of others within a particular situation in order to clearly outline your options.

Accept: Begin by recognizing any circumstances of your life that cannot be changed. Instead of resisting or trying to control the situation, try to accept the situation.

Action, non-action: Based on your evaluation of the situation, determine whether it is more beneficial to act, or choose not to act.

Allow: Give yourself the opportunity to move with the situation, recognizing that it is easier to flow with a situation than against it.

Today’s guests:

Sal Gonzalez is a country music singer and an Iraq war veteran who was wounded in combat.

Listen to Sal’s music: https://salgmusic.com/

Follow Sal on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/salgmusic/

Follow Sal on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/officialsalgmusic

Doris Chang is a clinical psychologist and professor at NYU. She developed a five step process of Wu Wei.

Learn more about Doris and her work: http://dorisfchang.com/about

Follow Doris on Twitter: https://twitter.com/dorisfchang/

Resources from The Greater Good Science Center:

What You Think About Your Emotions Matters: https://tinyurl.com/9akpm7u6

Just One Thing: Accept Difficulty: https://tinyurl.com/mrknbj8b

How to Deal with Feeling Bad About Your Feelings: https://tinyurl.com/2zf7njh4

How to Overcome Destructive Anger: https://tinyurl.com/49zu6whw

More Resources for A Good Night’s Sleep

Harvard Health - Go with the flow: engagement and concentration are key: https://tinyurl.com/bp66krnw

CNBC - A 2,000-year-old Chinese mindset can make you more successful—it ‘takes almost zero effort,’ says psychologist: https://tinyurl.com/mr3n4a8b

TED - Wuwei and Flow: https://tinyurl.com/3jmcjp68

Atlantic - How to Not Try: https://tinyurl.com/mr2nwufj

Have you tried to accept a difficult emotion in your life? Email us at [email protected] or use the hashtag #happinesspod.

Help us share The Science of Happiness!

Rate us on Spotify and share this link with someone who might like the show: https://tinyurl.com/mpnacwv7