This week Josh and Drew tackle "monophobia" - the fear of being alone. This is VERY common among people with panic disorder and agoraphobia. It presents most often as an intense fear and avoidance of being left home alone without safe people nearby or as always needing safe people with you before you can do exposures or go into areas where your anxiety might be triggered.


This fear is not a special or "another" fear that you have to overcome. Monophobia is what we call it when you are sure that you cannot tolerate or handle the experience of anxiety while alone and will need to be rescued or saved from that experience. It's another expression of the same fear .... the fear of fear.


In this episode, we talk about the fear of being alone (monophobia) and discuss ways to address it as part of your overall recovery strategy.  
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If you love Disordered and think you might benefit from spending 30 full days in an everyday intensive small group recovery support group led by Josh and Drew, check out Disordered Boost at https://disordered.fm/boost
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Want to ask us questions, share your wins, or get more information about Josh, Drew, and the Disordered podcast?


Visit us on the web at ⁠⁠https://disordered.fm⁠⁠


Disclaimer: Disordered is not therapy or a replacement for therapy. Listening to Disordered does not create a therapeutic relationship between you and the hosts of the podcast. Information here is provided for psychoeducational purposes. As always, when you have questions about your own well-being, please consult your mental health and/or medical care providers. If you are having a mental health crisis, always reach out immediately for in-person help.



I Have Anxiety and I'm Afraid To Be Alone! (Monophobia) (Episode 029)

Disordered is the podcast that delivers real, evidence-based, actionable talk about anxiety and anxiety and anxiety recovery in a kind, compassionate, community-oriented environment. Josh Fletcher is a qualified psychotherapist in the UK. Drew Linsalata is a therapist-in-training in the US. They're both bestselling authors in the anxiety and mental health space. Josh and Drew are funny, friendly, and they have a knack for combining lived experience, formal training, and professional experience in an encouraging, inspiring, and compassionate mental health message.

Health & Fitness

Mental Health

How does one approach recovery from chronic or disordered anxiety when grief is part of the picture? Do the same principles apply? Do we use concepts like acceptance, surrender, or willful tolerance when handling grief?


Grief is a powerful thing that will almost certainly impact not just anxiety recovery but all aspects of life and even daily functioning at times. In this episode Josh and Drew explore the relationship between anxiety, anxiety recovery, grief, and the grieving process. 


This can get complicated and as always there are subtle details and nuances so tune in. We hope you find this episode helpful.


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Struggling with worry and rumination that you feel you can't stop or control? Check out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Worry and Rumination Explained⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, a two hour pre-recorded workshop produced by Josh and Drew. The workshop takes a deep dive into the mechanics of worrying and ruminating, offering some helpful ways to approach the seemingly unsolvable problem of trying to solve seemingly unsolveable problems.


⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/worryrumination⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
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Want to ask us questions, share your wins, or get more information about Josh, Drew, and the Disordered podcast?


Visit us on the web at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://disordered.fm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠


Disclaimer: Disordered is not therapy or a replacement for therapy. Listening to Disordered does not create a therapeutic relationship between you and the hosts of the podcast. Information here is provided for psychoeducational purposes. As always, when you have questions about your well-being, please consult your mental health and/or medical care providers. If you are having a mental health crisis, always reach out immediately for in-person help.

Examining the Relationship Between Anxiety and Grief (Episode 062)

This week on Disordered we're looking at anxiety focused on relationships, specifically a form of OCD known as Relationship OCD (ROCD).


ROCD - like all forms of OCD - will glue itself to things that really matter to us. In this case, being in loving, secure, successful relationships with people we love and who love us. Someone with ROCD even when involved in what by all accounts may be a very healthy and satisfying relationship experiences doubt about various aspects of those relationships. Far beyond the usual questions and doubt that all people might experience now and then, ROCD doubt will trigger extreme discomfort and a sense of distress, demanding that one engage in rituals and compulsions designed to alleviate that sense of distress.


The thing is ... as usual ... that relief never lasts. ROCD will toss whatever assurance, solution, or peace our compulsions bring us, demanding that the cycle of doubt and rituals be repeated again and again.


The episode does include discussion of attachment theory/styles and self-esteem issues that may in fact play a role for people with ROCD, however the focus remains on treating the OCD itself before digging into what may be associated issues.


As always, the guys share some success stories from the listener community and answer a question about the difference between distraction and productive focusing of attention.




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Struggling with worry and rumination that you feel you can't stop or control? Check out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Worry and Rumination Explained⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, a two hour pre-recorded workshop produced by Josh and Drew. The workshop takes a deep dive into the mechanics of worrying and ruminating, offering some helpful ways to approach the seemingly unsolvable problem of trying to solve seemingly unsolveable problems.


⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/worryrumination⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
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Want to ask us questions, share your wins, or get more information about Josh, Drew, and the Disordered podcast?


Visit us on the web at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://disordered.fm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠


Disclaimer: Disordered is not therapy or a replacement for therapy. Listening to Disordered does not create a therapeutic relationship between you and the hosts of the podcast. Information here is provided for psychoeducational purposes. As always, when you have questions about your well-being, please consult your mental health and/or medical care providers. If you are having a mental health crisis, always reach out immediately for in-person help.

Relationship Anxiety and Relationship OCD (Episode 061)

WHAT ABOUT NOCTURNAL PANIC ATTACKS? HOW DO WE DEAL WITH THOSE?


Nocturnal panic attacks are scary, disturbing, disruptive, and often feel like they are different from any other kind of panic attack. Anxious people will often insist that they are special, they can't possibly be approached with an attitude of tolerance or surrender, and that there must be special instructions or techniques for preventing them, stopping them, or getting over them.


But nocturnal panic attacks, as difficult as they are to experience, are not special nor different. This week on Disordered Josh and Drew are digging into what nocturnal panic attacks are all about and why they seem different or in need of a particular or special approach.


The guys also touch on how nocturnal panic attacks can impact people struggling with OCD or recurring or intrusive thoughts. There's also a discussion of scary or vivid dreams and how they are also often interpreted as dangerous or very important.


As always we have some excellent "did it anyways" from the community and an excellent question about what happens when living according to one's values becomes a bit extreme and results in overwhelm and burnout.


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Struggling with worry and rumination that you feel you can't stop or control? Check out ⁠⁠⁠⁠Worry and Rumination Explained⁠⁠⁠⁠, a two hour pre-recorded workshop produced by Josh and Drew. The workshop takes a deep dive into the mechanics of worrying and ruminating, offering some helpful ways to approach the seemingly unsolvable problem of trying to solve seemingly unsolveable problems.


⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/worryrumination⁠⁠⁠⁠
-----
Want to ask us questions, share your wins, or get more information about Josh, Drew, and the Disordered podcast?


Visit us on the web at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://disordered.fm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠


Disclaimer: Disordered is not therapy or a replacement for therapy. Listening to Disordered does not create a therapeutic relationship between you and the hosts of the podcast. Information here is provided for psychoeducational purposes. As always, when you have questions about your well-being, please consult your mental health and/or medical care providers. If you are having a mental health crisis, always reach out immediately for in-person help.

Nocturnal Panic Attacks and Scary Dreams (Episode 60)

WHAT DOES "VALUES DRIVEN RECOVERY" MEAN?


Anxiety recovery can be seen as one long journey away from fear driven behavior and toward behaviors that support the things we really value in life. This week Josh and Drew are talking about what values driven recovery mean and how your values - the things that matter to you and make you who you are and want to be - play a role in the recovery process.


A few key points from this episode:



 Identifying and exploring your values is worthwhile because knowing WHY you are choosing to do scary, difficult things can support your recovery efforts. 
 Not really remembering what non-anxious you looks like is a common experience in our community. Focusing on values and can help us re-connect to who we really are rather than who anxiety tells us to be.
  Connecting to your values and working on values driven recovery is a great plan, but be careful about assuming that your values will instantly override your fear. Sometimes but look to your values as a source of motivation, not as a way to smash anxiety and run it over.
  Sometimes life gives us no choice and waves our values in our faces, demanding that we either follow them or retreat in a given moment. See if you can recognize those moments and use them in a positive way rather than defaulting to feeling defeated when you can't easily "rise up" to meet those challenges on demand.



As usual we're celebrating some "Did It Anyway" submissions from members of the community, and we answer a question about how social anxiety and agoraphobia can be connected in some cases.


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Struggling with worry and rumination that you feel you can't stop or control? Check out ⁠⁠⁠Worry and Rumination Explained⁠⁠⁠, a two hour pre-recorded workshop produced by Josh and Drew. The workshop takes a deep dive into the mechanics of worrying and ruminating, offering some helpful ways to approach the seemingly unsolvable problem of trying to solve seemingly unsolveable problems.


⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/worryrumination⁠⁠⁠
-----
Want to ask us questions, share your wins, or get more information about Josh, Drew, and the Disordered podcast?


Visit us on the web at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://disordered.fm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠


Disclaimer: Disordered is not therapy or a replacement for therapy. Listening to Disordered does not create a therapeutic relationship between you and the hosts of the podcast. Information here is provided for psychoeducational purposes. As always, when you have questions about your well-being, please consult your mental health and/or medical care providers. If you are having a mental health crisis, always reach out immediately for in-person help.

Values Driven Anxiety Recovery (Episode 59)

BUT WHAT ABOUT WHEN YOU'RE TENSE AND SORE? HOW CAN YOU HANDLE THAT?


This is one of those questions we get asked all the time. In this episode of Disordered, we're taking a look at how tension, soreness, twitches, and feelings of muscle weakness fit into the anxiety and recover picture.


Anxious, scared bodies are going to anxious, scared body things. That's how we're designed. There's nothing wrong with being medically checked, and once you've been cleared your job becomes acknowledging that tension and related issues are going to be part of this equation.


It's not the tension, the soreness, or the twitching that matters most. These are certainly impactful and unpleasant, but the part we care most about is the continued choice to focus on these sensations, ruminate on them, and attempt to frantically escape from them or force them to stop. That just makes things worse.


Once again, we find ourselves confronted with the difficult task of acknowledging in a compassionate way, then exercising the skills of letting go and willfully tolerating an unpleasant experience. Why? So we can learn that unpleasant doesn't automatically equal dangerous or catastrophic.
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Struggling with worry and rumination that you feel you can't stop or control? Check out ⁠⁠Worry and Rumination Explained⁠⁠, a two hour pre-recorded workshop produced by Josh and Drew. The workshop takes a deep dive into the mechanics of worrying and ruminating, offering some helpful ways to approach the seemingly unsolvable problem of trying to solve seemingly unsolveable problems.


⁠⁠https://bit.ly/worryrumination⁠⁠
-----
Want to ask us questions, share your wins, or get more information about Josh, Drew, and the Disordered podcast?


Visit us on the web at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://disordered.fm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠


Disclaimer: Disordered is not therapy or a replacement for therapy. Listening to Disordered does not create a therapeutic relationship between you and the hosts of the podcast. Information here is provided for psychoeducational purposes. As always, when you have questions about your well-being, please consult your mental health and/or medical care providers. If you are having a mental health crisis, always reach out immediately for in-person help.

I Have Anxiety and I'm Afraid To Be Alone! (Monophobia) (Episode 029)

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