A phrase we've been hearing a lot lately, especially in the dating world, and I’m sure you have as well is “If they wanted to, they would.” In today's episode, Dr Solomon will look at the kinds of fears and beliefs that lead people to stick the “if they wanted to they would” label on a relationship dynamic. You'll also lean into what might be happening in a dynamic that would lead you to declare “if they wanted to, they would” and what else you might do besides stick this label on and walk away.

If They Wanted To, They Would

Reimagining Love with Dr. Alexandra Solomon is your destination for profound, enlightening discussions about love, family, intimacy, and everything in between—a podcast that gives us the opportunity to reimagine ourselves, our relationships, and our world. Hosted by renowned clinical psychologist, professor, and award-winning author Dr. Alexandra Solomon, featuring conversations with notable guests from the worlds of therapy, academia, and pop culture.

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Author Molly Roden Winter joins Reimagining Love to share her story of opening up her marriage as a happily married mother and the hard-earned and profound truths she learned along the way. For Molly, her journey of non-monogamy opened her up to more: more choice and self-discovery, and feeling more than her roles as a mother and wife.

Open Marriage: Lessons from Non-Monogamy & Motherhood with Molly Roden Winter

What would change if, instead of prioritizing romantic relationships, we made friendships the center of our lives? NPR's Rhaina Cohen joins Reimagining Love to explore the possibilities embedded within that question. In her new book, Rhaina invites us into the worlds of people who've organized their lives around deep friendship and, in doing so, challenge our ideas and assumptions about which relationships should be at the heart of a fulfilling life.

The Other Significant Others: How to Reimagine Your Friendships with Rhaina Cohen

Mark Groves and Kylie McBeath join Reimagining Love to share the story of their relationship—the story that inspired their new book, Liberated Love: Release Codependent Patterns and Create the Love You Desire. In this conversation, they get vulnerable about how they moved from breaking up to fostering breakthroughs; a journey they nurtured through what they call 'a sacred pause.' In the sacred pause, they identified the patterns that blocked their ability to find authentic love so that they could build a new relationship rooted in safety and interdependence.

Liberated Love: From Codependency to Relational Safety with Mark Groves & Kylie McBeath

Throughout her decades as a therapist, Dr. Alexandra has helped many people navigate being "the affair partner." Participating in infidelity creates an intoxicating yet profoundly confusing blend of emotions and experiences. In this episode, Dr. Alexandra examines the psychology of this role and offers a compassionate look into the surrounding context: the thrills, secret benefits, sources of shame, and potential origin stories embedded within this controversial role.

When You're the Affair Partner

In this solo episode, Dr. Alexandra confronts a common roadblock to repair: shame. Often, in the wake of relational harm, feelings of shame secretly run the show, causing you to get combative and defensive or freeze, flee, or fawn in essential moments. Dr. Alexandra provides strategies for moving from shame into action—so that you can make yourself available for repair—and gives tangible tips for how to make a heartfelt and effective apology.

If They Wanted To, They Would

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