INSIDE WESTMINSTER

By The Curtain Twitcher

What's INSIDE WESTMINSTER about?

'Inside Westminster' is a parody audiobook series inspired by the shenanigans of the so-called British political 'elite'. It takes contemporary events and surmises what 'must' be going on behind closed doors. Our story begins when 'Potty' has been ensnared by a young, ambitious advisor named 'Mandy'....

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INSIDE WESTMINSTER episodes:

03.20.2022
Chapter 259 - 'Cat With Nine Lives'
They’d been hoist by their own petard, yet again - the Winchesters that is. And the PM feels the hand of history touch his shoulder.
03.20.2022
Chapter 258 - 'Money Whore'
In which the Swinton-Eagles scarper; Tara beds down with the cats and the royals brace themselves for yet more scandal, this time involving the heir apparent.
03.20.2022
Chapter 257 - 'Architects Of Our Own Misfortune'
At last, there’s some good news for prince Edmund and Annabelle but Mandy is in for a battering.
02.09.2022
Chapter 256 - 'Self-Inflicted Wounds'
In which the Trudge-Joneses are confronted by the chaos of their own making and this great nation - its government and its people – begin to make their feelings known.
02.07.2022
Chapter 255 - 'Greased Piglet'
In which ‘partygate’ and its grave consequences and prince Markus’s trial by jury become the talk of the land.
01.23.2022
Chapter 254 - 'Back to the Beginning'
In which the shenanigans and moral failings of the highest echelons of this land are coming back to bite and hard.
01.17.2022
Chapter 253 - 'Rolling Stone'
In which Prince Markus runs out of road, his fate being sealed in an interview with senior royals.
01.17.2022
Chapter 252 - 'Double Whammy'
In which two privileged white males – prince Markus and the PM – get their comeuppence.
01.10.2022
Chapter 251 - 'Bull and Bluster'
The noose is tightening round prince Markus’s neck as Anoushka Blackwell is found guilty.
01.10.2022
Chapter 250 - 'Dead Kitten'
With the resignation of the nation’s Brexit supremo, Lord Snow, the Prime Minister is dealt a body blow like no other but has no alternative but to ‘battle on’.
01.10.2022
Chapter 249 - 'Tom Tit'
In which prince Edmund is exposed; the French president faux pas in franglais and the prime minister ponders past missed opportunities.
11.30.2021
Chapter 248 - 'Peppa Pig and the Great Debate'
In which Ptolomy trudge-Jones wishes he had listened to Mandy’s advice and realises his days are numbered.
11.30.2021
Chapter 247 - 'Home-Cooked Mess'
In which the PM contemplates his health and life beyond politics.
11.29.2021
Chapter 246 - 'Down But Not Out'
In which the US president leaves an unwelcome calling card; prince Edmund and Annabelle have a heart to heart and Sabbeth Malek is left bereft.
11.28.2021
Chapter 245 - 'Tin-Pot Charlie'
In which the parliamentary standards commissioner survives a bid to quash her authority and COP26 drizzles on.
11.28.2021
Chapter 244 - 'Cop-Out'
COP26 takes place amidst storms and protests; Potty continues to be hand-bagged and climate pledges are already being broken.
11.07.2021
Chapter 243 - 'Dramatic Downshift'
In which the royals watch Her Madge slowing up; Benedict Morgan scoffs at the budget and climactic matters take centre stage.
11.06.2021
Chapter 242 - 'Deracinated'
In which far-flung peoples and British politicians are uprooted.
10.29.2021
Chapter 241 - 'From the frying Pan into the Fire'
Crisis after crisis is hitting our Prime Minister and our fair couple Stateside too. But bad fortune affects our two golden couples in very different ways as they react accordingly.
10.28.2021
Chapter 240 - 'Lost Causes'
In which the American president’s misreading of the autocue condemns a whole generation of Afghans to oblivion, Mandy and other key ministers stay on holiday and the PM is forced to return to Downing Street.
10.26.2021
Chapter 239 - 'In Confidence'
Unnerving travails in the royal household continue and the Queen’s dresser, Linda, confides.
10.22.2021
Chapter 238 - 'Least said Soonest Mended'
In which two key figures rue their words and actions and realise that ‘chickens come home to roost’.
10.22.2021
Chapter 237 - 'Black Swan'
England has reopened for business in spite of continued dire warnings from the medical experts that the pandemic is far from over.
10.21.2021
Chapter 236 - 'What To Do, What To Do?'
In which the ex-health secretary is head over heels whilst the recipient of this love is already feeling jaded and the top three dogs are back in their kennels, missing the glories of Freedom Day.
10.21.2021
Chapter 235 - 'Falling On one's Sword'
The health secretary falls on his sword, a replacement is found in a trice and the by election result shows that the patience of the public is running out.
10.20.2021
Chapter 234 - 'They're All At It'
In which the start of the health secretary’s affair is traced and elephants are to be sent packing.
08.30.2021
Chapter 233 - 'Chickens Come Home to Roost'
In which the full extent of the carnage caused by the health secretary’s affair becomes clear and his wife plans her revenge.
08.30.2021
Chapter 232 - 'Cock-a-Hoop'
In which life’s injustices are discussed and families matter.
08.08.2021
Chapter 231 - 'Gone Mad'
In which it is announced that ‘the person who gives birth to a person who will eventually menstruate’ are both home and doing well and an 8 hour inquisition proves pointless.
06.21.2021
Chapter 230 - 'All Fall Down'
Wall-coverings continue to dominate the PM’s life and prince Rupert’s loose tongue causes angst for his wife.
06.21.2021
Chapter 229 - 'Sucking It Up'
In spite of excessive expenditure on ‘crazy gold tat’, the Prime Minister comes up smelling of roses again; Sir Kieran tries to shift the blame for his party’s abject flop and Steve Cannon is advised to just suck it up.
06.21.2021
Chapter 228 - 'Stars and Stripes'
In which the full extent of prince Rupert’s Americanisation becomes clear.
05.19.2021
Chapter 227 - 'Dressed to Impress'
In which the Queen dresses her two wayward progeny down; the PM is sinking in a mire of yet more scandal and Mathew Shrove continues his weasel ways.
05.19.2021
Chapter 226 - 'Consequences'
In which Benedict Morgan realises one of his sons is about to reap the rewards of his schoolboy pranks and prince Rupert is forced to acknowledge that life has consequences.
05.18.2021
Chapter 225 - 'Size Matters'
In which law-suits are two a penny and Scarlett Heavens makes a reappearance.
04.05.2021
Chapter 224 - 'Heads Roll'
Neil Forthright, celebrity host and writer, gets the chop for his forthright opinions on Sassy Sparkle and the PM’s décor continues to cause a drama.
04.05.2021
Chapter 223 - 'Girl Drama'
The interview has been broadcast and everything for the royal family has changed.
03.13.2021
Chapter 222 - 'Tantrums and Tiaras Revisited'
With the impending interview - second only to the ‘three of us in this marriage’ car crash one decades earlier - tensions are running high on both sides of the Atlantic.
03.10.2021
Chapter 221 - 'Timing is Everything'
Two demanding and feisty women, Sassy Sparkle and Mandy Swinton-Eagle, are giving their partners a hard time with their high expectations of love and life.
02.28.2021
Chapter 220 - 'Getting What You Want'
In which the second impeachment fails; Tony, the masseuse, succeeds and the Shroves discuss Mandy Swinton-Eagle’s influence.
02.28.2021
Chapter 219 - 'Fishy Business'
In which Prince Markus and his ex celebrate some much-needed good news, though their firstborn is being tested, and the first minister of Scotland and her husband are swimming with the sharks.
02.14.2021
Chapter 218 - 'Sanctimonious Sanctity'
In which Mathew Shrove consults Benedict Morgan about Priscilla van de Lare’s border gaffe and Mandy plans her future with both Potty’s father, Somerset, and Fleur Aspall.
02.14.2021
Chapter 217 - 'Autarkic Rhetoric'
In which the EU commission overplays its hand; the French take the opportunity to give the UK a good kicking and Mandy connects with new and influential people in her quest for a green and pleasant land.
02.08.2021
Chapter 216 - 'Diminished and Damned'
The only ‘world-beating’ laurels to be placed on the head of our hapless leader are that for presiding over one hundred thousand Covid deaths; Nifti Kadva, home secretary, cracks on by crashing heads together and Melania glows on her final...
01.25.2021
Chapter 215 - 'Patriot or Pussy'
In which Tony Hancock, health secretary, guesses a few unnerving uncertainties about Covid; Trump ups his antics and Prince Markus’s ex has some good news.
01.25.2021
Chapter 214 - 'Countless Betrayals'
In which Sabbath Malek, business secretary, is looking forward to his next move; Melania makes her final move and the Cannon’s fowl fall foul of the WI.
01.23.2021
Chapter 213 - 'Cry Me an Ocean'
In which the health secretary is blasted by Steen Playfair’s committee; William Gaunt, education secretary, has his return to school policy scuppered as the new British variant lets rip and Mandy plans her future.
12.28.2020
Chapter 212 - 'Over the Line'
It’s to be a Christmas Eve like no other when the news of a deal is broken and the nation breathes a collective sigh of relief.
12.28.2020
Chapter 211 - 'Eleventh Hour'
Time is really fast running out: who will chicken out first? Only time will tell.
12.08.2020
Chapter 210 - 'Rebel, Rebel'
In which the PM realises the enormity of the changes to life post-pandemic, with unfavourable mythical comparisons.

What's INSIDE WESTMINSTER about?

Download our free app to listen on your phone

INSIDE WESTMINSTER episodes:

Chapter 259 - 'Cat With Nine Lives'

Chapter 258 - 'Money Whore'

Chapter 257 - 'Architects Of Our Own Misfortune'

Chapter 256 - 'Self-Inflicted Wounds'

Chapter 255 - 'Greased Piglet'

Chapter 254 - 'Back to the Beginning'

Chapter 253 - 'Rolling Stone'

Chapter 252 - 'Double Whammy'

Chapter 251 - 'Bull and Bluster'

Chapter 250 - 'Dead Kitten'

Chapter 249 - 'Tom Tit'

Chapter 248 - 'Peppa Pig and the Great Debate'

Chapter 247 - 'Home-Cooked Mess'

Chapter 246 - 'Down But Not Out'

Chapter 245 - 'Tin-Pot Charlie'

Chapter 244 - 'Cop-Out'

Chapter 243 - 'Dramatic Downshift'

Chapter 242 - 'Deracinated'

Chapter 241 - 'From the frying Pan into the Fire'

Chapter 240 - 'Lost Causes'

Chapter 239 - 'In Confidence'

Chapter 238 - 'Least said Soonest Mended'

Chapter 237 - 'Black Swan'

Chapter 236 - 'What To Do, What To Do?'

Chapter 235 - 'Falling On one's Sword'

Chapter 234 - 'They're All At It'

Chapter 233 - 'Chickens Come Home to Roost'

Chapter 232 - 'Cock-a-Hoop'

Chapter 231 - 'Gone Mad'

Chapter 230 - 'All Fall Down'

Chapter 229 - 'Sucking It Up'

Chapter 228 - 'Stars and Stripes'

Chapter 227 - 'Dressed to Impress'

Chapter 226 - 'Consequences'

Chapter 225 - 'Size Matters'

Chapter 224 - 'Heads Roll'

Chapter 223 - 'Girl Drama'

Chapter 222 - 'Tantrums and Tiaras Revisited'

Chapter 221 - 'Timing is Everything'

Chapter 220 - 'Getting What You Want'

Chapter 219 - 'Fishy Business'

Chapter 218 - 'Sanctimonious Sanctity'

Chapter 217 - 'Autarkic Rhetoric'

Chapter 216 - 'Diminished and Damned'

Chapter 215 - 'Patriot or Pussy'

Chapter 214 - 'Countless Betrayals'

Chapter 213 - 'Cry Me an Ocean'

Chapter 212 - 'Over the Line'

Chapter 211 - 'Eleventh Hour'

Chapter 210 - 'Rebel, Rebel'