070: Instagram is Better Than Tinder and Your Best Wingman

In a very spontaneous episode, dating coach Max Maxim joins the show to talk about the importance of Instagram in dating and hooking up. He and Connor talk about how to enhance your game, the mistakes most dudes make online, how to slide into the DMs and stand out from the crowd, and tips to create Instagram that serves as your wingman.   Key Takeaways: [1:31] Being popular on Instagram like Connor isn’t necessary to attract hot girls, but it sure doesn’t hurt. Connor’s biggest problem in the online world is showing girls that he is a real person, so he brings them to Instagram as a tactic. [2:21] Sending a reply to a story is the best way to start talking with a girl on Instagram, but there are certainly some ground rules. First, show up like no one else when no one else is. All dudes are sliding in her DMs when she posts a sexy pic or one that will obviously solicit attention. Stand out by commenting on something that everyone else isn’t already commenting on. [6:13] Don’t ask a question just to get a reply. Send a message that entertains you and that creates value and wait to talk back and forth before you jump into asking the girl out. This All Value Message comes from a place of abundance instead of neediness. [8:13] Project the quality you want someone to have, and show gratitude that they have it. For Connor, he can thank a girl for treating him like a normal dude instead of being obsessed with his clout. They will see him as high-value and want to continue to do a good job. [10:52] No more dates. Instead, invite her on an adventure that you already have going on, and one that you will have fun on, whether or not she comes. [12:16] Even more important than attraction is developing trust. Invite her to bring a friend out along on your first adventure so that she feels relaxed and not so pressured. Bring her/them along on a cool mission you already have going on in your busy and exciting life. [16:45] When escalating things in a physical sense remember: two steps forward and one step back. [18:11] Max explains situations where the “push and pull” method will create more interest from an overly confident potential date. Other times, if the girl doesn’t have the highest self-confidence, you may need to be more obvious about wanting to hang out. [25:04] A few of Max’s tips to get your Instagram at peak performance: take your pics from a lower angle, get some candid pics in there, be personal and smart about your captions, and use the “push/pull” method on stories. For every badass photo you take, sprinkle in a cute puppy one. [28:06] Instead of exchanging phone numbers you should be exchanging Instagram handles. This way they can see what you are all about and you can develop your value before you even hang out. [28:59] Hot girls have hot friends. Leverage the girls you have and tag them in your stories to be sure that their friends see you.   Mentioned in This Episode: Connor Murphy Talks YouTube page: @ConnorMurphyTalks Brandon’s YouTube page: @HighLifeWorkOut @KingKeto — Brandon Carter on Instagram @ConnorMurphyOfficial @maxmaxim.official  Max Maxim YouTube