It’s a staple of small talk, but should it be? People are genuinely curious to learn about each other’s backgrounds or cultures. While this question might start a good conversation, it can often make people feel othered and unwelcome. So where do we go from here? 

Harv and Elena speak with journalist Eternity Martis about getting this question as a Black woman both in big cities and smaller towns. Eva Jewell offers some insight into how this question can be a great way to make connections when Indigenous peoples ask it to each other. Psychology professor Kevin Nadal shares some helpful tips for anyone who asks or gets asked this question.

Connect with our guests below:
Eternity Martis: @eternitymartis on Twitter
Eva Jewell: @ebaans_ on Twitter
Kevin Nadal: @kevinnadal on Twitter and Instagram

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Twitter: @IQ_Podcast
Instagram: @IQ_Podcast

For transcripts of this series, please visit: https://www.cbc.ca/radio/podcastnews/inappropriate-questions-transcripts-listen-1.6740372

Is asking “Where are you from?” appropriate small talk?

Have you ever been curious to know the answer to a question that might be intrusive or too personal for other people? On their biweekly podcast Inappropriate Questions, now in its third season, cohosts Elena Hudgins Lyle and Harvinder Wadhwa make a space for curiosity where guests can unpack the tricky questions they get asked and learn stories about them—whether they ask if polyamorous people cope with jealousy in relationships, if Indigenous people are full Native, or brave the dreaded “have you lost weight” assumption.

Created by Hudgins Lyle alongside producers Sabrina Bertsch and Cindy Long, the podcast was built out of a school project while they were studying Media Production in Toronto, Ontario. Bertsch, who’s mixed-race, had been asked a lot of questions about her background and ethnicity after studying abroad for a semester. Long and Lyle, both LGBT, would also get frequently asked about their identity and sexuality. Even if these frustrations served as a jumping-off point for them, they quickly realized that they could also learn about a variety of topics from others too—especially from their parents and older generations. So they auditioned a “dad-like” figure to be a counterpart as co-host. Wadhwa, a project manager with an engineering degree, was the unanimous choice. “Harv was the very first interview we did,” Lyle says. “After the interview, he was like, ‘All right, how many more of these do you have to go?’ You know I'm it, right? You can stop now.’”

In each episode, guests share stories about being asked the week’s specific inappropriate question. Though, occasionally, they'll have an expert or academic who can break down more of the historical and social aspect of the question. Both Hudgins Lyle and Wadhwa bridge together their different generational perspectives to challenge themselves and their guests, having casual, yet meaningful conversations that are engaging, unpredictable, and humorous. “Though I've been in Canada for over 20 years, I consider myself an immigrant coming from India,” Wadhwa says. “So, what the show is also trying to do is also bring the balance. Because if everybody's thinking the same way, then we lose out a lot.”

Even if they sometimes step into difficult territory, what they both hope to provide with each episode is a starting point for listeners to ease into these topics. “It could be that we've left you with some new ideas and perspectives from the guests who have this lived experience,” Lyle says. “You don't need to change and develop overnight, but hopefully, we've given you a starting place where you can then do your own research or reflection.”

Society & Culture

Personal Journals

History

Philosophy

Places & Travel

Fifteen-year-old Tai Poole won’t rest until he’s uncovered the mysteries of the universe, one probing question at a time. In Season 4 of his Webby-winning podcast, Tai talks to everyone from NASA scientists to stand-up comedians to his equally curious little brother Kien. If you’ve ever wondered if we can keep eating meat without destroying the planet or if we’re alone in the universe, Tai has you covered. More episodes are available at hyperurl.co/taiaskswhy

Inappropriate Questions Introduces: Tai Asks Why - Season 4

It’s the end of Season 3! Elena and Harv look back at some of the highlights of the season and answer some of your listener questions. Together, they discuss the challenges of hosting, finding the right questions to tackle, and share their proudest moments from the season.

Thank you to all of our listeners for joining us. We hope you enjoyed the season!

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Twitter: @IQ_Podcast
Instagram: @IQ_Podcast

For transcripts of this series, please visit: https://www.cbc.ca/radio/podcastnews/inappropriate-questions-transcripts-listen-1.6740372

Answering your questions and looking back on Season 3

We often ask new people about what they do for work, and if they’re in a transition period, the question becomes “What are you going to do now?” Whether they’re graduating, starting a family, or about to retire, we are fascinated about career next steps. Is asking this a good way to get to know someone or does it come with certain expectations? 

Harv’s daughters Harbani and Rymn join in to talk about getting this question as they graduate and the pressures they feel to know next steps. Olympic silver medallist Krista Guloien shares what it’s like to retire from rowing at 33, and the challenges of finding a new career outside of sport. Stay-at-home mom Vania talks about why she wrote into the show about this question and handling the assumption she’ll return to paid work. Psychology professor Anne Wilson discusses how our identities can become entwined with our careers and the problem with society’s emphasis on finding your one true calling.

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Twitter: @IQ_Podcast
Instagram: @IQ_Podcast

For transcripts of this series, please visit: https://www.cbc.ca/radio/podcastnews/inappropriate-questions-transcripts-listen-1.6740372

Is “What are you going to do now?” good small talk?

Autistic people are sometimes met with skepticism when they tell someone they’re autistic, especially when they don’t match others’ assumptions of what autism is. Harv and Elena speak to TikToker Jam about how they realized they’re autistic, some of the challenges they face, and how getting a diagnosis isn’t accessible to everyone. Disability studies scholar Sara Acevedo talks about some of the reasons people ask this and debunks common stereotypes about autistic people. 

Connect with our guest below: 
Jam: Tw: @2jam4u  IG:@2jam4u TikTok: @2jam4u

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Twitter: @IQ_Podcast
Instagram: @IQ_Podcast

For transcripts of this series, please visit: https://www.cbc.ca/radio/podcastnews/inappropriate-questions-transcripts-listen-1.6740372

Is it okay to ask an autistic person “Are you sure?”

We often look back on our favourite movies or shows and wonder where those actors are now. But how does it feel to see this question asked about you? Elena and Harv speak to author Lisa Jakub about her time as a child actor in Mrs. Doubtfire and how her measures of success changed when she left the industry. She also discusses how this question can stem from a lack of boundaries and a misplaced sense of intimacy with actors. Actor and comedian Rivkah Reyes talks about being in School of Rock, the effect that tabloid listicles can have, and why it’s so important to be able to share your own story.

Connect with our guests below:
Lisa Jakub: Tw: @Lisa_Jakub IG: @lisa.jakub
Rivkah Reyes: Tw: @rivkahreyes IG: @rivkah.reyes

Follow us!
Twitter: @IQ_Podcast
Instagram: @IQ_Podcast

For transcripts of this series, please visit: https://www.cbc.ca/radio/podcastnews/inappropriate-questions-transcripts-listen-1.6740372

Is asking “Where are you from?” appropriate small talk?

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