Poet Kate Baer found herself inundated with the demands of motherhood and little time to write. Nothing was easy and then, at a breaking point, it felt impossible. If she wanted a creative life, she was going to have to redefine “perfection” (perfect mom! perfect woman!) and learn to tolerate a lot more imperfection instead.    On this episode of Kate & Kate, they discuss how friendships give permission to speak honestly (and why your friendships are actually important), why not every experience (motherhood, marriage) is “fulfilling,” how they each went off-script to find meaning, and Kate Baer’s great love for Panera Bread. CW: postpartum depression

Kate Baer: Tolerating Imperfection

Are you living your best life now? Not always? This is a podcast for you. Duke Professor Kate Bowler is an expert in the stories we tell about success and failure, suffering and happiness. She had Stage IV cancer. Then she didn’t. And since then, all she wants to do is talk to funny and wise people about how to live with the knowledge that, well, everything happens.  Find her online at @katecbowler.
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When a group of young moms died around the same time, clinicians Dr. Justin Yopp and Dr. Don Rosenstein wanted to refer their widowed spouses to a grief support group… but none existed. So they started their own. 
In this conversation, Kate, Justin, and Don discuss:

The grief of imagined futures 
The particular needs of parents with cancer and those of widowed parents
How to talk to kids about cancer 
How to parent while you have cancer

Together, they uncover the magic of we.
This summer, we are re-sharing our all-time favorite episodes. While this conversation originally aired in 2020, Kate caught up with Don and Justin to get an update on what they are working on lately. You won’t want to miss their important (and practical!) update.
 

Watch clips from this conversation, read the full transcript, and access discussion questions by clicking here or visiting katebowler.com/podcasts.
Follow Kate on Instagram, Facebook, or X (formerly known as Twitter)—@katecbowler. Links to social pages and more available at linktr.ee/katecbowler. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Justin Yopp and Don Rosenstein: The Magic of “We”

How do we navigate life within these beautiful, terrible days? In this special live episode of the Everything Happens podcast, Kate sits down with American broadcast journalist Judy Woodruff at the historic Sixth & I Synagogue in Washington, DC to discuss Kate’s latest book, Have a Beautiful, Terrible Day! Together, they explore what it means to live through the best of days, the worst of days, and all the in-betweens.
Together, they discuss:

The apology Kate wishes she would have gotten (and the moving story about when she did)
How fragility unites us
How can we be more empathetic towards people we disagree with

 

Watch clips from this conversation, read the full transcript, and access discussion questions by clicking here or visiting katebowler.com/podcasts.
Follow Kate on Instagram, Facebook, or X (formerly known as Twitter)—@katecbowler. Links to social pages and more available at linktr.ee/katecbowler.
  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Judy Woodruff: How Will We Live Our Beautiful, Terrible Days?

We become the sum of so many people throughout our lives. Kate speaks with one of the funniest people on the entire planet, comedian Samantha Bee, about the people who made her, her. What virtues did they create? What absurdity ensued? How does she think about how she impacts her own kids? 
In this conversation, Kate and Samantha discuss:

Samantha's hand of God moment that changed the trajectory of her life
How the people who love us shape us into who we become
What siblings or friends or partners teach us about intimacy

 

Watch clips from this conversation, read the full transcript, and access discussion questions by clicking here or visiting katebowler.com/podcasts.
Follow Kate on Instagram, Facebook, or X (formerly known as Twitter)—@katecbowler. Links to social pages and more available at linktr.ee/katecbowler. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Samantha Bee: This is Going to Be(e) a Great Story

Here on the Everything Happens Podcast we don’t shy away from difficult subjects, and today’s episode tackles a topic we’ve been wanting to discuss for awhile—suicide among teens and young adults. My guest today, Dr. Pamela Morris-Perez is someone who approaches this subject with the heart of a grieving mom and the mind of a professor and practitioner who wants to make change possible and wants to teach us how we can help. This is such an important conversation on how communities can help prevent adolescent suicide.
In this conversation, Kate and Pamela discuss:

Poignant reflections on being a suicide loss survivor from a parent who is grieving the loss of her child—a topic so rarely discussed
Why we say “died by suicide”
How we can prevent teen suicide—including what signs to look for, what to ask, and next steps to take when you’re concerned

In a very important way, this episode won’t create nearly as much anxiety as you think. Talking about suicide is one of the most important ways of making it less likely. So let’s find better language together, shall we?
If you need to talk to someone, call or text 988. If you are worried about someone, you too can call or text 988 to get resources. Remember: you matter. Please listen with care.
 

Watch clips from this conversation, read the full transcript, and access discussion questions by clicking here or visiting katebowler.com/podcasts.
Follow Kate on Instagram, Facebook, or X (formerly known as Twitter)—@katecbowler. Links to social pages and more available at linktr.ee/katecbowler. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Pamela Morris-Perez: Suicide Prevention and Hope

Chantal Kreviazuk is a Canadian singer, songwriter, composer, and pianist—her voice is the soundtrack of all Kate’s Canadian’s teenage angst. She has had an incredible career with a passion for helping others. Among many things, she’s a powerful advocate for destigmatizing mental illness—a cause near and dear to her heart after her brother struggled to get adequate care for nearly 20 years. She’s said, “When a family member is sick, the whole family is sick.” She offers such wisdom for people who struggle with a hurting family member, or their own mental health, or for their marriages that are sometimes not as easy as we had hoped. 
In this conversation, Kate and Chantal discuss:

Setting necessary boundaries in complicated families
The ups and downs of a marriage and the unexpected gifts that only reveal themselves when you commit to staying in it for the long haul
A trick to starting a hard day

 

Watch clips from this conversation, read the full transcript, and access discussion questions by clicking here or visiting katebowler.com/podcasts.
Follow Kate on Instagram, Facebook, or X (formerly known as Twitter)—@katecbowler. Links to social pages and more available at linktr.ee/katecbowler. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kate Baer: Tolerating Imperfection

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