"A few years earlier, in junior high, I first noticed that I looked at the boys more. It was very subtle and innocent. It was like I envied them...I wanted them to like me. It didn't feel like a sexual attraction back then, but they definitely caught my eye. It never crossed my mind that this could be ho-mo-sex-u-a-li-ty. But I knew what the "h" word was by then because the Christian culture had already schooled me in it. I knew allll about it..."

Episode 8 • Learning About the H-Word

(Note: Blue Babies Pink is like an audio book. Start with the Prologue, then Episode 1, Episode 2, etc.)For nearly a decade, Brett Trapp Harman kept a secret journal of thoughts on being gay and Christian, knowing one day he'd shout the story he feared most.On a Wednesday morning in late 2016, he logged on to Facebook and began shouting...He started by publishing a Gossip Guide to his sexuality—a cheeky way to let friends know his secret. He then began sharing the vivid details of his story through a 44-episode memoir, published as one episode per day. He called the story Blue Babies Pink. Within days, Blue Babies Pink began to spread through social media. Thousands of readers tuned in, eagerly waiting for the daily installment to be released. Readers resonated deeply with Brett's struggle with faith, loneliness, shame, singleness, workaholism, and uncertainty. Called "the Netflix of blogs," more than 100,000 people have read or listened to Blue Babies Pink to date.

Personal Journals

Society & Culture

History

Philosophy

Places & Travel

Religion & Spirituality

Other

Spirituality

Christianity

Buddhism

Hinduism

Judaism

Islam

Sexuality

Health

Health & Fitness

Brett's final thoughts on the journey of Blue Babies Pink...

Epilogue • My Little Speaking Up

NOTE: This is the finale of Blue Babies Pink. If you haven't read the previous 43 episodes, please do that before listening to Episode 44. Also, after listening to this one, be sure to check out the Epilogue for the final wrap-up.

Episode 44 • Love Storms

"I sprinted down that path, through the trees, all the way out to the boat dock—heaving, shaking, and sobbing as I ran. I felt like I might choke, fighting for breath. My face poured wet salt onto the summer grass below..."

Episode 43 • Tears on a Boat Dock

"I began to think a lot then about the role of a spouse, of a companion. I'd never been in anything close to a meaningful relationship, and I'd slammed the door on love years before, so I was clueless about it all."

Episode 42 • Someone to Run Home To

"My whole life, I'd been taught that God's design for the world was men and women getting married and making babies. This formed family units which were the building blocks of society. So it made sense that the institution of marriage would lead to great human flourishing."

Episode 8 • Learning About the H-Word

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