This week on Text Me Back, the greatest podcast in the history of media, Lindy and Meagan dive into their texts to share some hard truths: Tom Cruise is great! Chris Pratt is actually funny? Sorry, discourse, but we need to discuss our problematic faves.
And, your intrepid hosts have departed Independence, Missouri, with nothing more than a dream, a covered wagon, a dimwitted guide, and an unhygienic missionary…that’s right, Oregon Trail is back, baby, and weirder than ever. Will Lindy and Meagan make it to the Willamette Valley without dying of dysentery? Tune in to find out.
Finally, Lindy — president of the weird snake fan club — is at long last bringing us hot snake news all the way from the Amazon. Someone has allegedly found an enormous anaconda, but viewers of the hit 1997 film "Anaconda" starring Jennifer Lopez already knew all about it.
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TEXT ME BACK is a production of KUOW in Seattle, a proud member of the NPR Network.
Our editor is Jeannie Yandel. Our senior producer is Brandi Fullwood. Our mixer is Jason Burrows.
Come to TEXT ME BACK LIVE! Join us at Town Hall Seattle on Friday March 15th 7:30-9:30pm. Grab your tickets here.
Love the show? Share it with your bestie, and rate and review us on Apple Podcasts! Got a question or accolades for Lindy and Meagan? Join the TMB Text Club! Text BFF to 206-926-9955. Or email us at textmeback@kuow.org. You can also follow the podcast on Instagram and TikTok @textmebackpod. And for even more bestie connections follow Lindy and Meagan on Instagram at @thelindywest and @importantmeagan! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Lindy and Meagan Have Died of Dysentery

Bestselling writer Lindy West and democracy policy expert Meagan Hatcher-Mays are two Award-Winning Best Friends From High School (Most Likely To Make You Laugh in their high school senior poll - sorry to intimidate you!). Each week, Lindy and Meagan hilariously digest what’s going on in the news, their lives and their text threads with their singular combination of political smarts, embarrassing sincerity, and a truly concerning level of investment in pop culture. Text Me Back is a podcast about best friendship and making your favorite people laugh, even when this dumpster fire of a world gets you down.

Comedy

This week's episode is hot hot hot—literally and figuratively. We’ve got a special guest! Our personal hero Lizz Winstead, who's been making waves in comedy and politics for decades. And Lindy does NOT make it weird. One dragon question per guest IS normal. Lizz Winstead is the co-creator and former head writer of The Daily Show, co-founder of Air America Radio, and current powerhouse behind Abortion Access Front. Lizz dishes on her storied career, shares tales from the front lines of abortion access activism, and gives us the scoop on her latest project—the documentary No One Asked You, currently making rounds at film festivals (our Provincetown listeners need to go to the screening literally today!).  We wrap up with a revealing game of F.M.K.I.H.B.F.D.T.S (the famous game you know and love) involving some of our favorite and most dangerous political villains. Tune in to hear how Lizz weaponizes karaoke and Freaky Friday mind swaps for the good.  Find a screening of No One Asked You near you at: https://www.nooneaskedyoudoc.com/screenings Learn more about Abortion Access Front (and consider donating!) at: https://www.aafront.org/ 
 ⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡° If you like this episode and want us to keep making the show forever, please subscribe to our Patreon. This podcast will always be free, but we need your help to produce it -- and if you support our Patreon, you'll get all kinds of goodies in addition to the show itself! Learn more about the different tiers and rewards here: https://www.patreon.com/TextMeBackPod Also! Please keep in touch with us! You can text OR CALL us at the Best Friend Party Phone: (703) 829-0003. We're on Instagram at @textmebackpod! Full videos of our episodes are on YouTube at @textlindyandmeaganback You can email us at deartextmeback@gmail.com! WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU SO BAD! ⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡° TEXT ME BACK is a production of Lindy West and Meagan Hatcher-Mays, proud members of the BFF Network. Our senior producer is Meagan Hatcher-Mays. Our other senior producer is Lindy West. Our show is supported by COPILOT Collective and produced by Alli Slice. Our music is by Chief Ahamefule J. Oluo. Diana Bowen is our video and creative advisor. Our digital strategist is Chance Nichols. You can also follow the podcast on Instagram and TikTok @textmebackpod. And for even more bestie content, follow Lindy and Meagan on Instagram at @thelindywest and @importantmeagan! Special thanks as always to our perfect angels: Jeannie Yandel, Brandi Fullwood, and Isolde Raftery. ⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡° See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. 
 See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Lindy and Meagan Ride Lizz Winstead’s Pontoon Boat

This week, Lindy and Meagan both realize that they've been having thoughts about dogs, which we're sharing in a new segment called DOG THOUGHTS. What if dogs could sweat? And what, exactly, is the nature of a dog's business? Then, we have a story from the Best Friend Party Phone about a piece of fan mail gone horribly wrong--a seemingly innocent letter traumatized a room full of fourth graders, teaching them the hard way that the Killer is real and he lurks everywhere. Even in your homework assignments. Lindy and Meagan go on to reminisce about their own experiences bothering celebrities in the 1990s, including one of the most legendary moments from their friendship lore: the time they met their late-night talk show host hero. Tune in to find out how much they scared him! And finally, your intrepid hosts discuss WHATCHA WATCHIN'???, a segment about whatch they watchin'. Spoiler alert: Lindy is watching Shogun and Meagan is watching true crime slop. But thank god for the slop, because Meagan has uncovered evidence suggesting that Keith THEE Morrison is not only a superfan of this podcast but subscribes to the Patreon as well. Delusional? You be the judge. ⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡° If you like this episode and want us to keep making the show forever, please subscribe to our Patreon. This podcast will always be free, but we need your help to produce it -- and if you support our Patreon, you'll get all kinds of goodies in addition to the show itself! Learn more about the different tiers and rewards here: https://www.patreon.com/TextMeBackPod Also! Please keep in touch with us! You can text OR CALL us at the Best Friend Party Phone: (703) 829-0003. We're on Instagram at @textmebackpod! Full videos of our episodes are on YouTube at @textlindyandmeaganback You can email us at deartextmeback@gmail.com! WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU SO BAD! ⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡° TEXT ME BACK is a production of Lindy West and Meagan Hatcher-Mays, proud members of the BFF Network. Our senior producer is Meagan Hatcher-Mays. Our other senior producer is Lindy West. Our show is supported by COPILOT Collective and produced by Alli Slice. Our music is by Chief Ahamefule J. Oluo. Diana Bowen is our video and creative advisor. Our digital strategist is Chance Nichols. You can also follow the podcast on Instagram and TikTok @textmebackpod. And for even more bestie content, follow Lindy and Meagan on Instagram at @thelindywest and @importantmeagan! Special thanks as always to our perfect angels: Jeannie Yandel, Brandi Fullwood, and Isolde Raftery. ⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡° See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Lindy and Meagan Stalk Conan O'Brien

What a day! Lindy delivers some hot hot hot breaking news: she's become a flat earther, for real, not a joke*, and you won't BELIEVE what finally pushed her over the edge, so to speak. (It involves one Instagram reel, two mysterious travelers, and an unconfirmed number of dragons.)  Then, Meagan updates us on her DC swamp life in a new segment called "Oops, I Crapped My Real Job!" Find out what Meagan *personally* is doing to punish Justice Samuel Alito for being a naughty boy, featuring her Mean Mommy Business Voice on the mic at a bona fide press conference with real live congresspeoples! She got 'em! This is why she's so sleepy all the time! And lastly, Meagan and Lindy dispense trivial advice to listeners struggling with low-stakes problems. Nothing important, nothing stressful! Please don't ask for advice on your divorce, but they will tell you what color notebook to get! Is this both the funniest AND the most informative Text Me Back of all time? There's no way to know unless you download it and listen to the whole thing all the way through twice! *It is a joke ⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡° If you like this episode and want us to keep making the show forever, please subscribe to our Patreon. This podcast will always be free, but we need your help to produce it -- and if you support our Patreon, you'll get all kinds of goodies in addition to the show itself! Learn more about the different tiers and rewards here: https://www.patreon.com/TextMeBackPod Also! Please keep in touch with us! You can text OR CALL us at the Best Friend Party Phone: (703) 829-0003. We're on Instagram at @textmebackpod! Full videos of our episodes are on YouTube at @textlindyandmeaganback You can email us at deartextmeback@gmail.com! WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU SO BAD! ⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡° TEXT ME BACK is a production of Lindy West and Meagan Hatcher-Mays, proud members of the BFF Network. Our senior producer is Meagan Hatcher-Mays. Our other senior producer is Lindy West. Our show is supported by COPILOT Collective and produced by Alli Slice. Our music is by Chief Ahamefule J. Oluo. Diana Bowen is our video and creative advisor. Our digital strategist is Chance Nichols. You can also follow the podcast on Instagram and TikTok @textmebackpod. And for even more bestie content, follow Lindy and Meagan on Instagram at @thelindywest and @importantmeagan! Special thanks as always to our perfect angels: Jeannie Yandel, Brandi Fullwood, and Isolde Raftery. ⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡° See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Lindy and Meagan Imagine Dragons Beyond the Flat Earth Ice Wall

This week, something has gone wrong with Meagan's brain and it's NOT a worm! It has something to do with finding an Amish dog named Kevin online, becoming hypnotized by his tiny bear face, then entering a fugue state and traveling to his location in Lancaster, PA with $850 in cash and the backing of literally dozens of listeners to purchase him. Is this an ethical way to acquire a dog? No. Was Kevin worth it? 100000%. Then, Lindy -- a connoisseur of oceanic news -- brings an aquatic story of great significance from one of our Nation's most trustworthy journalistic sources: Instagram reels. This story has everything: an air guitar contest, one or two chill brewskis at most, a man overboard, a creature of some kind, and a stick. Lindy and Meagan ponder what they'd do under similar harrowing circumstances, then rank sticks from worst to best. You won't want to miss this episode! We've already sent it to the Library of Congress for preservation! ⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡° If you like this episode and want us to keep making the show forever, please subscribe to our Patreon. This podcast will always be free, but we need your help to produce it -- and if you support our Patreon, you'll get all kinds of goodies in addition to the show itself! Learn more about the different tiers and rewards here: https://www.patreon.com/TextMeBackPod Also! Please keep in touch with us! You can text OR CALL us at the Best Friend Party Phone: (703) 829-0003. We're on Instagram at @textmebackpod! Full videos of our episodes are on YouTube at @textlindyandmeaganback You can email us at deartextmeback@gmail.com! WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU SO BAD! ⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡° TEXT ME BACK is a production of Lindy West and Meagan Hatcher-Mays, proud members of the BFF Network. Our senior producer is Meagan Hatcher-Mays. Our other senior producer is Lindy West. Our show is supported by COPILOT Collective and produced by Alli Slice. Our music is by Chief Ahamefule J. Oluo. Diana Bowen is our video and creative advisor. Our digital strategist is Chance Nichols. You can also follow the podcast on Instagram and TikTok @textmebackpod. And for even more bestie connections, follow Lindy and Meagan on Instagram at @thelindywest and @importantmeagan! Special thanks as always to our perfect angels: Jeannie Yandel, Brandi Fullwood, and Isolde Raftery. ⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡° See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Lindy and Meagan Need to Talk About Kevin

In this week's episode, Lindy reveals that her neighborhood bear is BACK, and his threat level has been upgraded to "habituated trash bear." No pic-a-nic basket is safe! Lindy also breaks her silence on a secret she's been keeping about the band Imagine Dragons, and Meagan finally addresses the elephant in the room: does Lindy... not listen to music????? Meagan reaches into the mailbag and shares an unhinged yet joyful letter (found by a listener) about public diarrhea and not quite making it to the Dairy Queen in time, which gets the gals reminiscing about college. Then it's a hard look inside the biggest story of the week, which is OF COURSE the worm that ate part of RFK Jr.'s brain and then died. Should the presidency have a No Brain Worms policy, or is that an ableist purity test? Is getting a brain worm the first likable thing about this man? Lindy and Meagan discuss! And finally, two big announcements for our Patreon subscribers! First, that Lindy and Meagan are going to let you pick their best-friends tattoo, literally. And second, that they'll be posting an episode-by-episode subscribers-only rewatch of Shrill! Listen for more info and subscribe if you want access to all the fun. Hope you love it, besties! 
 The Glad Tidings Chorale is: Allegra Martin Andreas Belboe Andoodoo Holly Hartline Jennifer Darling-Mellott Kate Harrington Kiki Porter Kendra Zzyzwyck Olivia Smith Phédre Schifano Robert (@violadagoomba) Stephen O’Bent 
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 If you like this episode and want us to keep making the show forever, please subscribe to our Patreon. This podcast will always be free, but we need your help to produce it -- and if you support our Patreon, you'll get all kinds of goodies in addition to the show itself! Learn more about the different tiers and rewards here: https://www.patreon.com/TextMeBackPod Also! Please keep in touch with us! You can text OR CALL us at the Best Friend Party Phone: (703) 829-0003. We're on Instagram at @textmebackpod! Full videos of our episodes are on YouTube at @textlindyandmeaganback You can email us at deartextmeback@gmail.com! WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU SO BAD! 
 ⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡° 
 TEXT ME BACK is a production of Lindy West and Meagan Hatcher-Mays, proud members of the BFF Network. Our senior producer is Meagan Hatcher-Mays. Our other senior producer is Lindy West. Our show is supported by COPILOT Collective and produced by Alli Slice. Our music is by Chief Ahamefule J. Oluo. Diana Bowen is our video and creative wizard. Our digital strategist is Chance Nichols. You can also follow the podcast on Instagram and TikTok @textmebackpod. And for even more bestie connections, follow Lindy and Meagan on Instagram at @thelindywest and @importantmeagan! Special thanks as always to our perfect angels: Jeannie Yandel, Brandi Fullwood, and Isolde Raftery. 
 See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Lindy and Meagan Have Died of Dysentery

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