What should we do when all the work we do to run our family's lives is done so successfully that they not only don't acknowledge it—they don't even understand it? How do we help our partners understand that saying "I left the doctor a message, but they didn't call back" does not really count as a completed task?
It's all about what's called the "invisible workload." In this episode Amy and Margaret discuss:

whether "cognitive labor" (Allison Daminger) or "emotional labor" (Rose Hackman) might be even better terms for what we're talking about

pushing back on "weaponized incompetence"

the difference between taking on tasks and taking on outcomes

The importance of giving voice to invisible labor in front of kids


Here are links to some interviews/books we mentioned in the episode:

Our interview with Eve Rodsky

Mac Daniel for Harvard Radcliffe Institute: "The Unseen Inequity of Cognitive Labor"


FAIR PLAY by Eve Rodsky: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780525541943


EMOTIONAL LABOR by Rose Hackman: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781250777355


THIS AMERICAN EX-WIFE by Lyz Lenz: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780593241127



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https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/
mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, emotional labor, 
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Making the "Invisible Workload" Visible

When you're a parent, every day brings a "fresh hell" to deal with. In other words, there's always something. Think of us as your funny mom friends who are here to remind you: you're not alone, and it won't always be this hard.
We're Amy and Margaret, both busy moms of three kids, but with completely different parenting styles. Margaret is a laid-back to the max; Amy never met a spreadsheet or an organizational system she didn't like.
In each episode of "What Fresh Hell" we offer lots of laughs, but also practical advice, parenting strategies, and tips to empower you in your role as a mom. We explore self-help techniques, as well as ways to prioritize your own needs, combat stress, and despite the invisible workload we all deal with, find joy amidst the chaos of motherhood.
If you've ever wondered "why is my kid..." then one of us has probably been there, and we're here to tell you what we've learned along the way.
We unpack the behaviors and developmental stages of toddlers, tweens, and teenagers, providing insights into their actions and equipping you with effective parenting strategies.
We offer our best parenting tips and skills we've learned. We debate the techniques and studies that are everywhere for parents these days, and get to the bottom of what works best to raise happy, healthy, fairly well-behaved kids, while fostering a positive parent-child relationship.
If you're the default parent in your household, whether you're a busy mom juggling multiple pickups and dropoffs, or a first-time parent seeking guidance, this podcast is your trusted resource. Join our community of supportive mom friends laughing in the face of motherhood!  
whatfreshhellpodcast.com

Comedy

Kids & Family

Parenting

How can we tear our kids away from the increasingly addictive video games they can't get enough of? Dr. Alok Kanojia, author of the book HOW TO RAISE A HEALTHY GAMER, explains how to talk to kids about their video game addiction.
Dr. Kanojia is a former gaming addict and a Harvard-trained psychiatrist who has developed evidence-based programs that helped tens of thousands of gamers overcome their addiction.
Margaret and Dr. Kanojia discuss:

Signs that someone is addicted to something and why gaming can fill a void

How to talk to your gamer about healthy habits

Enforcing boundaries around gaming and dealing with resistance to those boundaries


Here's where you can find Dr. Kanojia: 

Follow Dr.K's podcast HealthyGamerGG https://open.spotify.com/show/6VaJwyS2KXxiXqR77jqzmP


Check out Dr.K's Book, How to Raise a Healthy Gamer https://bit.ly/4c8BNkr    

Healthy Gamer Website https://www.healthygamer.gg/  

Instagram: @healthygamergg

X: @dralokkanjia

YouTube: @healthy gamer GG

TikTok: @healthygamer.gg


We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:
https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/
mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, toddler, baby, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, gaming, gaming addiction, video games, video game addiction, kids gaming addiction
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Fresh Take: Dr. Alok Kanojia on Parenting a Healthy Gamer

Follow us on YouTube! 
Are you worried your picky eater will never eat a vegetable as long as they live? Here are some parenting tips for picky eaters—and some updates on Amy and Margaret's own picky eaters since recording our very first episode 8 years ago! (It's good news.)
Amy and Margaret discuss:

Why it's helpful to make food the least interesting thing at the dinner table

How to maintain your own sanity around mealtimes by meeting kids where they are

Why dinnertime is actually the worst time of day to get kids to try new foods

How pairing and "food chaining" can help expand your picky eaters' palates


Here is a link to one of the resources mentioned in the episode:
Benioff Childrens Hospitals: Picky Eaters


We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:
https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/
manifest reality, positive thinking, toxic positivity, magical thinking, mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities,
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How To Deal With Picky Eaters

Parenting as a team is an ongoing challenge– even when your relationship with your co-parent is usually harmonious. But matching headspaces with your co-parent about a problem your family, or one of your children, is dealing with doesn't have to be the goal. 
Parenting as a team can often mean taking turns, whether it's with the pancake-flipping, the hard talks with teenagers, or the 3 am worried Googling of ICD-10 diagnoses. In this episode we talk about what’s worked for us in moments of disagreement or struggle with our spouses, and how we found common ground.
If getting through the pandemic meant zooming in, just getting to the next lamppost, parenting as a team means zooming way out. If you know you're on the same page about the adults you want your children to become, it's a little easier to chill out about how they’ll get there. 
Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode:
Amy and Margaret discuss their "Pre-Cana" experiences in the Catholic Church, and the usefulness of the Engaged Encounter program in particular. To find out more: engagedencounter.com
Buy WHAT CHILDREN LEARN FROM THEIR PARENTS' MARRIAGES: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780060929305

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:
https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/
mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, household equity, household equality, gender household equality, gender household equity
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DEEP DIVE: Parenting as a Team

Why are stereotypes of teenage girls rarely flattering? And what important traits are we not acknowledging in these young women? Chelsey Goodan, author of the new book UNDERESTIMATED: The Wisdom and Power of Teenage Girls, explains what teenage girls really want and need from us.
Chelsey and Amy discuss:

The generational shift towards a culture of support and empowerment among young girls today

The significance of offering agency to young girls in shaping their identities and futures

What teenage girls want from their parents more than anything else


Here's where you can find Chelsey:

https://www.chelseygoodan.com

@chelseygoodan on IG and X

Buy UNDERSTIMATED: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781668032688


https://www.democrashe.org/

https://www.acalltomen.org/about/


Amy also mentions our Fresh Take with Judith Warner in this episode: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/fresh-take-judith-warner-on-what-grownups-get-wrong-about-middle-school/

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:
https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/
mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, teenage girl, female empowerment, feminism, mentorship for teens, gender equity
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Fresh Take: Chelsey Goodan on How Parents Underestimate Their Teenage Girls

The human tendency to solve problems by adding something is called "additive solution bias." However, sometimes a problem is more quickly and effectively solved by taking something away.
In this episode we talk about how "additive solution bias" can play out in our parenting strategies, and how we can become more aware of the times when what we actually need to do is take something away.
Amy and Margaret discuss:

Why our brains are wired to solve problems by adding things

How additive solution bias increases along with the size of the problem we're attempting to solve

Why removing something, or doing less, isn't automatically easier


Sign up for What Fresh Hell Plus on Supporting Cast to get all episodes ad-free, plus monthly bonus episodes. Supporting Cast works right where you already listen! Go to whatfreshhell.supportingcast.fm to subscribe in two taps for just $4.99 a month, or $39.99 a year. 

Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode:

Diana Kwon for Scientific American: "Our Brain Typically Overlooks This Brilliant Problem-Solving Strategy"


Gabrielle S. Adams, et. al for Nature: "People systematically overlook subtractive changes"


Less is more: Why our brains struggle to subtract

Anthony Sanni: Additive Bias—and how it could be affecting your productivity


Braess's paradox

Rachel Fairbank for Lifehacker: "Why You Should 'Subtract' From Your Parenting"


SUBTRACT by Leidy Klotz

Our Fresh Take with Amanda Montell

Our Fresh Take with Yael Schonbrun

THE SENSORY CHILD GETS ORGANIZED by Carolyn Dalgliesh


We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:
https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/
mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent
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Making the "Invisible Workload" Visible

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