054: Master the Real Art of Girls And Pickup — Derek with RSD

This week we are joined by a dude that knows more about dating than most people on this planet, Derek from Real Social Dynamics. He teaches people how to get the dating life they want and takes them out in the “field” to practice. Today he shares the in-house secrets of this skill set, how he got into the pickup world, what really makes up good game, approach anxiety, why he hates corny lines, and ways for all of us to not be such weirdos with hot chicks.   Key Takeaways: [2:41] Derek has a business background, and RSD has been more of a hobby than his main source of income. He gets to travel around the world, hang out with cool dudes and help them get a fantastic dating and sex life. [8:36] The fundamentals of pickup are similar to having good form at the gym. You have to build up to good results and put in the reps and sets. [9:22] The three core questions a guy has to answer first in order to know his true identity: What kind of man am I? What kind of life do I want to live? What kind of companions would be ideal for that life? [12:28] When a girl feels a lack of certainty or decisiveness, it can also come off as creepy and insecure. [17:28] Resourcefulness, reproductive value, and having fun are at the top of what girls look for, rather than always money or a job title. It helps to be ballin’ out of control and have a boat and a huge house, but it’s not necessary. [20:57] Derek always recommends being direct and honest when communicating interest with a girl. If you respect yourself and your time, it’s best to let someone know when you like them from the beginning and invite them to do something cool that you are already doing. [27:53] It’s normal to get stuck in your head and have anxiety approaching women. The more you practice doing it the right way and train yourself to stay curious and open-minded, the easier it is to take action. [31:22] Using the same old-school routines and lines to pick up girls didn’t work for Derek, and he found it to be incongruent with the way he was living the rest of his life. [33:59] Instead of faking that you are a certain way, really become that cool, resourceful, and successful guy. [46:09] If you want the optimal life, it’s hard work and dedication but it’s worth it. [49:29] Whatever your goal is, find the people that are doing the best job at it and make them your mentor or coach. [54:13] Brandon’s tips for being cool and not a loser: focus on what you love, what you are good at, and what you can do to make money. Some will overlap in the circle, some will stay separate but still bring you enjoyment. [59:37] Derek’s not one to brag, but his courses are constantly sold out all over the world. People love his practical and common sense teachings mixed with high value and long-term education. [67:04] Humans are going to act in their own self-interest. Whoever you are trying to attract, whether it’s in love or business, make it so that hanging with you is a benefit to them.     Mentioned in This Episode: Connor Murphy Talks YouTube page: @ConnorMurphyTalks Brandon’s YouTube page: @HighLifeWorkOut @KingKeto — Brandon Carter on Instagram @ConnorMurphyOfficial Adonyx Coaching Lean-Phuck Work for Connor Connor24 for 24% off all supplements on the BroLab Site @AdonyxClothing Real Social Dynamics RSDDerek YouTube @RSDDerek   Quotes: “Any guys that I hang out with have a desire to have a better sex life or a few more opportunities with amazing women. It can always be better.” “If you don’t know who you are and what path you are on, how are you going to convey that to someone else?” “A man should be a leader to brighter ways and better days. Not someone lurking around and creeping.” “Every girl wants more fun.” “To get what you want, you have to deserve what you want.” - Charlie Munger “Do all that can be done each day.”