Modern Love

By The New York Times

Society & Culture

What's Modern Love about?

For 18 years, the Modern Love column has given New York Times readers a glimpse into the complicated love lives of real people. Since its start, the column has evolved into a TV show, three books and a podcast.

Each week, host Anna Martin brings you stories and conversations about love in all its glorious permutations, dumb pitfalls and life-changing moments. New episodes every Wednesday.

Listen to this podcast in New York Times Audio, our new iOS app for news subscribers. Download now at nytimes.com/audioapp

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LAST EPISODE

I Married My Subway Crush

12.06.2023

Zoe Fishman couldn’t stop thinking about the man she called her “subway crush.” For years, she saw Ronen on the train and admired him from afar. When they finally connected, it turned out Ronen felt the same, and they began ...

Modern Love episodes:

12.06.2023 I Married My Subway Crush Zoe Fishman couldn’t stop thinking about the man she called her “subway crush.” For years, she saw Ronen on the train and admired him from afar. When they finally connected, it turned out Ronen felt the same, and they began ...
12.06.2023 Author Read: I Married My Subway Crush Zoe Fishman reads her Modern Love essay, “The Subway Crush Who Crushed Me." To hear our conversation with Zoe, listen to the episode: “I Married My Subway Crush.” Zoe Fishman is the author of several novels, most recently “The Fun ...
12.01.2023 Author Read: Our 34-Year Age Gap Didn’t Matter, Until It Did Sonja Falck reads her Modern Love essay, “Our 34-Year Age Gap Was Showing." To hear our conversation with Sonja, listen to the episode: “Our 34-Year Age Gap Didn’t Matter, Until It Did.”
11.29.2023 Our 34-Year Age Gap Didn’t Matter, Until It Did Sonja Falck was immediately attracted to Colin, the professor who was renting her a room. He was intellectual and lively, with bright eyes that drew her in. It was only after they were already dating that Sonja found out Colin’s ...
11.24.2023 Author Read: Two Boys on Bikes, Falling in Love Eric Darnell Pritchard reads their Modern Love essay, “Two Boys on Bicycles, Falling in Love." To hear our conversation with Eric, listen to the episode: “Two Boys on Bicycles, Falling in Love.”
11.22.2023 Two Boys on Bikes, Falling in Love Eleven-year-old Eric Darnell Pritchard was a solitary kid. They preferred reading romance novels to playing sports, and watching soap operas to hanging out with the neighborhood kids. Although they were obsessed with love, they felt too different to find a ...
11.17.2023 Author Read: He Cared About Me, So I Broke Up With Him Jessica Slice reads her Modern Love essay, “He Cared About Me, So I Broke Up With Him." To hear our conversation with Jessica, listen to the episode: “He Cared About Me, So I Broke Up With Him.”
11.15.2023 He Cared About Me, So I Broke Up With Him When Jessica Slice started dating a man named David, there was a lot to like about him. They could nerd out about books and board games, he was thoughtful and kind. But Jessica had a problem. The more caring David ...
11.08.2023 Did I Fail as a Parent? Rick Reiss was scared for his teenage son, Gabriel. Gabe was struggling with depression and mood swings, and no amount of therapy or medication seemed to work. But when Gabe became violent, Rick wasn’t just scared for his son; he ...
11.03.2023 Author Read: My Sweaty Revenge Christi Clancy reads her Modern Love essay, “Revenge of the Friend." To hear our conversation with Christi, listen to the episode: “My Sweaty Revenge.”
11.01.2023 My Sweaty Revenge Christi Clancy had been avoiding her best friend’s ex-husband. He’d unexpectedly left her friend for another woman. After supporting her friend through the pain and heartbreak, Christi couldn’t help but resent the ex-husband for all the damage he’d done. So ...
10.25.2023 I Wrote This Essay, but Then Changed My Mind Heather Sellers wrote her Modern Love essay in 2013, about reconnecting with her elderly, estranged father. Although their relationship was painful, Heather made sure that her last words to her father were “I love you.” And at the time, that ...
10.20.2023 Author Read: What Does It Mean to Be a Kept Woman? Deanna Fei reads her Modern Love essay, “To Keep but Not Be Kept." To hear our conversation with Deanna, listen to the episode: “What Does It Mean to Be a Kept Woman?”
10.18.2023 What Does It Mean to Be a Kept Woman? Deanna Fei did not need a man. She was in her 20s, living in Shanghai on a Fulbright scholarship, writing her first novel: a book about fiercely independent Chinese women, very much like Deanna herself. Growing up as a first-generation ...
10.13.2023 Author Read: Don’t Hide in the Bathroom Stall Susan Gelles reads her Modern Love essay, “Single, and Surrounded by a Wall of Men." To hear our conversation with Susan, listen to the episode: “Don't Hide in the Bathroom Stall.”
10.11.2023 Don’t Hide in the Bathroom Stall Susan Gelles was a lawyer in her 30s who was too busy to find love. But after finally admitting that she was lonely, Susan did something that went against all her best instincts. She started attending singles mixers. On this ...
10.06.2023 Author Read: Have You Ever Kept a Secret From Your Wife? Khalid Abdulqaadir reads his Modern Love essay, “The Polygraph Test That Saved My Marriage." To hear our conversation with Khalid, listen to the episode: “Have You Ever Kept a Secret From Your Wife?”
10.04.2023 Have You Ever Kept a Secret From Your Wife? Khalid Abdulqaadir’s life was full of secrets. He started keeping them when he was a teenager, after his father was accused of an unimaginable crime. He didn’t want to explain his family history every time he started a new relationship. ...
08.02.2023 I Needed David Schwimmer’s Help Samantha Joseph’s childhood was scattered with golden trips to California to visit her Aunt Gail. Aunt Gail was the cool aunt. She worked in Hollywood and befriended actors like Robin Williams, Mayim Bialik and the cast of “Friends.” And yet ...
08.02.2023 Essay Read: I Had To Stop Asking Why Samantha Joseph reads her Modern Love essay, “I Had to Stop Asking Why.” You can listen to Anna’s interview with Samantha in the “Modern Love” podcast feed - the episode is called “I Needed David Schwimmer’s Help:.
07.27.2023 Essay Read: How I Lost the Fiancé But Won the Honeymoon Nell Stephens reads her Modern Love essay, “How I Lost the Financé but Won the Honeymoon.” You can listen to Anna’s interview with Nell in the “Modern Love” podcast feed. You can also read Nell’s essay on the New York ...
07.26.2023 How I Lost the Fiancé But Won the Honeymoon Bored and in love, Nell Stevens found a hobby combing the internet and entering her name into online contests. But, when she actually wins a prize — a luxury honeymoon in India — her world falls apart: The man she ...
07.19.2023 My Invisible Husband The last time David visited his ailing grandmother, he hid his wedding ring in his pocket. He’d never told her about his identity as a gay, married man. Fearful David’s grandmother would disown him, his family never told her about ...
07.12.2023 The Day My Family Changed Forever Imagine you are on vacation. Your favorite shirt is waiting for you in your suitcase. You go to put it on, only to realize it’s not there. You forgot it, and there’s nothing you can do now. That’s an experience ...
07.05.2023 The Gift of Holiday Men Kema Christian-Coates’s childhood was filled with “holiday men,” absentee fathers — including her own — who returned each year around Christmas only to disappear again. Her father’s absence left a hole in her life and the fear that she, like ...
06.28.2023 Sex on the Run? No, We Parked. Having sex in a car is usually a last resort, born from the trappings of youth. For Susan Silas, it was a midlife necessity. While working as a production accountant on a sitcom, Susan met a teamster. Despite having little ...
06.21.2023 What I Got Wrong About My Parents’ Marriage As one of the only Indian girls in her tiny Canadian mountain town, Natasha Singh stood out — and she was unafraid of being different. At 13, she shaved her head. By 17, she had run away for good. A ...
06.14.2023 For a 30-Year-Old Virgin, It’s Now or Never Clare Almand was born with congenital heart disease, so her life was never what she would call “normal.” By the time she was 30, she’d had 10 open-heart surgeries and her health was rapidly declining. Clare thought she was dying. ...
06.07.2023 The Marriage Proposal That Wasn’t Bob Morris could tell that something was changing with his elderly father: His car was clean, his manners had improved and he had a shine in his eyes. He had a new “lady friend.” Her name was Arlene. Arlene loved ...
05.31.2023 We Dated for Three Years. He Forgot It All. Sam and Tyler’s relationship was built on a philosophy of joy. Together, they climbed trees, ate cream puffs in bed, and danced in a field with their friends. But, after three years together, Sam was no longer in love, and ...
04.12.2023 He Ghosted. I'm Grateful. Denny Agassi moved to New York City with a mission: She was looking to have great sex. Her first summer in the city, Denny downloaded the dating app Grindr. She filtered for trans friendly men looking for sex or short ...
04.05.2023 Dating Advice From Jay Shetty When Jay Shetty graduated from college, he was prepared for two different paths in life: to work in finance, or become a Hindu monk. After three years at an ashram, Jay returned home to London hoping to share his learning ...
03.29.2023 The Healing Power of Love (Island) 12 hopeful singles, thrown into a villa in Spain, hooking up, breaking up and making up. When Sophie Mackintosh was experiencing one of the darkest periods of her life, the reality TV show became her obsession. There was something about ...
03.22.2023 How a $100 Bet Saved Our Relationship Mark Jason Williams and his mom often butted heads on two issues: She was uncomfortable when he brought up anything about being gay, and he was tired of her incessantly talking about how he survived childhood cancer. By the age ...
03.15.2023 Stop Looking for the Perfect Partner “The only three men I had ever imagined a future with all told me that something was missing,” Oz Johnson wrote in her Modern Love essay. When Oz was 23, her boyfriend said she met 99 percent of his criteria, ...
03.08.2023 I Imagine Him Here Felice Neal was in the checkout line at Whole Foods when she dropped her sweet potato. A handsome customer behind her said, “I think this is yours.” Felice was smitten. Felice believes this meet-cute was fate — and it opened ...
03.01.2023 Dominate Me, but Not Like That When it came to dating, Aly Tadros was used to hiding the messy parts of her life. “Why even bother? As soon as a guy finds out about my baggage, he bolts,” she wrote in her Modern Love essay. That ...
02.22.2023 Questions I Can’t Ask My Father In her early 20s, Annabelle Allen longed to know what her dad had been like when he was her age. How did he spend his Saturdays? What was his first impression of her mom? When did he feel lonely? But ...
02.15.2023 The Tricky Geometry of a Throuple For years, Evan Sterrett’s relationship with his boyfriend had become “reruns of the same drama.” Evan wanted space; his boyfriend wanted commitment. But one summer, their relationship received a guest star — a third partner who resuscitated their joie de ...
02.08.2023 I Promised God It Was the Last Time Growing up in an ultra-Orthodox Hasidic community, Sara Glass was used to following strict rules — including what to wear, when to get married and whom to love. “I had strong feelings that I really should be with a woman ...
12.14.2022 Your Weirdest Dates What’s the most unusual place you’ve ever been on a date? We asked Modern Love listeners and the responses did not disappoint. Rummaging through landfills, listening to cases in night court … the stories get weird. Plus, there’s one that ...
12.07.2022 A Bond Thicker Than Blood Brandon Kyle Goodman never knew his father, but he did know his Uncle Ronnie. Uncle Ronnie was Brandon’s godfather, originally his mom’s college bestie — and essentially, her sibling. Uncle Ronnie owned a hair salon, used words like “fabulous” and ...
11.30.2022 No More Hiding An A-student, a striving employee and a loyal friend, Terri Cheney is the sort of person who seems to have it all together. But, beneath her glowing facade, she faced the highs and lows of bipolar disorder. She kept her ...
11.23.2022 Encore: When Two Open Marriages Collide What are the boundaries of an open marriage? What happens to them when your wife’s boyfriend has an accident that puts him in a coma? And what do you tell the kids? Today, we’re revisiting Wayne Scott’s story about his ...
11.16.2022 Falling for Your Sperm Donor Rex and Katharine met on a trip in South Dakota. She wanted a baby; he did not. Could he be a sperm donor? No problem. The agreement was simple. They would both get what they wanted: Katharine would raise her ...
11.09.2022 What to Do With the Time We Get Ari Diaconis knew a bright future lay ahead of him. He was a gifted athlete with a well-paying job at a Wall Street law firm, and a partner, Dunia, with whom he shared a deep connection. But a neurological illness ...
11.02.2022 The Internet Still Thinks I'm Pregnant Amy Pittman was thrilled about her first pregnancy. She immediately downloaded a pregnancy app, and she was charmed when it showed her baby had grown from the size of a lavender bud to the size of a chocolate chip. When ...
10.26.2022 Not the Daughter She Wanted Her whole life, Putsata Reang (Put, for short) was accustomed to exceeding her parents expectations. She excelled in her career, paid for her parents to go on trips together and maintained a tight connection to her siblings and community. Yet ...
10.19.2022 Encore: A Lifetime of Good Loving Today, we’re revisiting the story of Bette Ann Moskowitz, who lost her husband of 56 years on the eve of the coronavirus pandemic. When Bette first met her husband, she was taken by his “smoldering looks and banked fires.” He ...
10.12.2022 When the Music Stopped Growing up in Brooklyn, Sonia Pérez recalled how her father would drink beer, sit on the sofa and lose himself in records from Puerto Rico, where he grew up. One day, he stopped listening. Sonia and her siblings wondered why. ...

Older episodes

Modern Love

What's Modern Love about?

Download our free app to listen on your phone

Modern Love episodes:

I Married My Subway Crush

Author Read: I Married My Subway Crush

Author Read: Our 34-Year Age Gap Didn’t Matter, Until It Did

Our 34-Year Age Gap Didn’t Matter, Until It Did

Author Read: Two Boys on Bikes, Falling in Love

Two Boys on Bikes, Falling in Love

Author Read: He Cared About Me, So I Broke Up With Him

He Cared About Me, So I Broke Up With Him

Did I Fail as a Parent?

Author Read: My Sweaty Revenge

My Sweaty Revenge

I Wrote This Essay, but Then Changed My Mind

Author Read: What Does It Mean to Be a Kept Woman?

What Does It Mean to Be a Kept Woman?

Author Read: Don’t Hide in the Bathroom Stall

Don’t Hide in the Bathroom Stall

Author Read: Have You Ever Kept a Secret From Your Wife?

Have You Ever Kept a Secret From Your Wife?

I Needed David Schwimmer’s Help

Essay Read: I Had To Stop Asking Why

Essay Read: How I Lost the Fiancé But Won the Honeymoon

How I Lost the Fiancé But Won the Honeymoon

My Invisible Husband

The Day My Family Changed Forever

The Gift of Holiday Men

Sex on the Run? No, We Parked.

What I Got Wrong About My Parents’ Marriage

For a 30-Year-Old Virgin, It’s Now or Never

The Marriage Proposal That Wasn’t

We Dated for Three Years. He Forgot It All.

He Ghosted. I'm Grateful.

Dating Advice From Jay Shetty

The Healing Power of Love (Island)

How a $100 Bet Saved Our Relationship

Stop Looking for the Perfect Partner

I Imagine Him Here

Dominate Me, but Not Like That

Questions I Can’t Ask My Father

The Tricky Geometry of a Throuple

I Promised God It Was the Last Time

Your Weirdest Dates

A Bond Thicker Than Blood

No More Hiding

Encore: When Two Open Marriages Collide

Falling for Your Sperm Donor

What to Do With the Time We Get

The Internet Still Thinks I'm Pregnant

Not the Daughter She Wanted

Encore: A Lifetime of Good Loving

When the Music Stopped

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