No Holes Barred

By Knee Deep In Life, Victoria Emes

Personal Journals Society & Culture Comedy

What's No Holes Barred about?

Unfiltered convos from two potty mouthed birds trying to find light in the lesser spoken realities of womanhood and beyond. Send us your stories for a chance to be featured in the podcast.

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No Holes Barred episodes:

04.15.2024
Ep 186. Phantom Farmyard pooer
In this weeks episode of No Holes Barred, Vic & Laura share more ragging hour subjects, discuss the struggle of coming to terms with the ageing process and Lauras arch nemesis, the field mouse. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit...
04.08.2024
Ep 184. Fingering Tripe
In this weeks episode of No Holes Barred, Vic & Laura find out why it's best not to eat a curry before attempting bum play, whether or not the g spot actually exists and share more rage at the inequality...
04.01.2024
Ep 183. Tapir tornado
In this weeks episode of No Holes Barred, Vic & Laura discuss what to do when you're caught short in a public place, why Vic should never touch coffee and learn a fascinating fact about Tapirs. Learn more about your ad...
03.26.2024
Ep 182. Jack & Rose
In this weeks' episode of No Holes Barred, Vic and Laura discuss the depths that we stoop to for the sake of revenge. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
03.19.2024
Ep 181. Sink turd
Sink turd Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
03.12.2024
Ep 180. Smash the Patriarchy
In this week's episode of NHB, Vic & Laura have some heated discussions about gender inequality, share how magical their Mother's Day was and discover how a pile could save your life. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
03.05.2024
Ep. 179 Hanging basket
In this episode of No Holes Barred, Vic & Laura discuss the trauma of watching the Netflix hit One day, find out just how powerful the suction is on a moon cup and discuss the logistics of being suspended from...
02.27.2024
Ep 175. Prodding the Rim
In this weeks' episode of No Holes Barred, Vic & Laura discuss contraception, reveal they're actually slightly enjoying their kids and learn how to deal with getting thrush treatment without a prescription. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
02.20.2024
Ep 174. Whale Willy
In this weeks' episode of No Holes Barred, Vic & Laura discover the joys of the Icelandic penis museum, discuss how not to enter an STD clinic and confirm why it's a good idea to keep your dead parents ashes...
02.13.2024
Ep 173. Use him like a noodle
In this weeks' episode of No Holes Barred, Vic & Laura discuss the ethics of the humble bog brush, discuss whether or not to get matching bumhole keyrings and discover the many uses for Rob's testes. Learn more about your ad...
02.06.2024
Ep 172. Mushroom gate
In this weeks' episode of No Holes Barred, Vic & Laura chat about keeping the romance alive in a long term relationship, Rob buys a rogue mushroom and the girls discuss whether height really matters. Learn more about your ad choices....
01.30.2024
Ep 171. Farts & Custard Tarts
In this weeks' episode of No Holes Barred, Laura relays the horror of losing her child in the woods, Vic shares her utter social awkwardness with other parents and the girls discuss a new venture involving farts and custard tarts. Learn...
01.23.2024
Ep 170. One squirt wonder
In this weeks' episode of No Holes Barred, Vic & Laura delve into the mysterious world of squirting, get a lesson in what not to say in a dirty text message and learn the importance of your pelvic floor strength...
01.16.2024
Ep. 169 Wear it in, not wank it in
In this weeks' episode of No Holes Barred, Vic & Laura discover how to get intimate with your Mums footwear, the best way to remove a silicone mould from your dingdong and why you always need to check your shipping...
01.09.2024
Ep 168. Pussy Tips
In this weeks' episode of No Holes Barred, Laura tries to get down with the kids but fails miserably, the ladies learn that revenge is best served as a hot cup of cats gonads and learn that you should never...
01.02.2024
Ep 167. Twat Tooth Fairy Strikes
In this weeks' episode of No Holes Barred, Vic & Laura welcome in the new year, discuss Laura's new crazy mutt and discover the power of the pelvic floor on dental work. If you would like to sign up to...
12.26.2023
Ep 166. Merry Christmas you filthy animals
In this weeks episode of No Holes Barred, Vic & Laura discuss holding a grudge against your partner, the skill set needed to pleasure a woman and wishing all their listeners a very Merry Christmas. Learn more about your ad choices....
12.19.2023
Ep 165. Bogan blood fest
In this weeks episode of No Holes Barred, Vic shares how she connects to nature by fingering her raised beds, why you should never ever touch the poles on public transport and how to recover from seeing a nude of...
12.12.2023
Ep 164 Joey from friends
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12.05.2023
Ep 163. Look great on the outside, dead on the inside
In this week's episode of No Holes Barred, Vic & Laura chat the lows of perimenopause, discover the dangers of giving yourself a vodka enema and why it's integral to hide your sex toys from small eyes. Learn more...
11.28.2023
Ep 162. Bum Worm Bandit
In this weeks' episode of No Holes Barred, Vic reveals her weekend puking and bum worm horror, the girls learn about the Victoria practice of using pubic hair to showcase men's conquests in the bedroom and who to call in...
11.21.2023
Ep 161. The one where Laura randomly hugs a taxi driver
In this week's episode of No Holes Barred, Vic & Laura are reunited after a few weeks of not recording and have a big old catch up, discovering Laura's over familiarity with taxi drivers, Vics venture into the world of...
11.15.2023
Ep 160. Live show from the Cheerful Earful podcast festival
In this week's episode, we join Laura & Vic for their first ever live performance at The Bedford, as part of the Cheerful Earful podcast festival. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
11.07.2023
Ep 159. Diarrhoea dick
In this weeks episode of No Holes Barred, Vic & Laura discuss their first ever live podcast show and the impact it had on Vic's nervous system, recall the unfortunate incident of the poo tsunami during Vic's labour and why...
10.31.2023
Ep 158 Vagina Bogey
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10.23.2023
Ep 157. Welcome a sausage into my folds
In this week's episode of No Holes Barred, Vic and Laura are getting excited about their upcoming live show on the 31st October. They share a chilling story about a quick blowie in a hospital story and discuss their aging...
10.16.2023
Ep 157. Dog walk gone wrong
In this weeks episode of No Hole's Barred, Vic & Laura discuss the age old debate of nature vs nurture, what to do when faced with a poop crisis on a dog walk and ask where the best place for...
10.09.2023
Ep 156. The poop train
In this weeks episode of No Holes Barred, Vic & Laura chat about missing their dead Dads, discuss the technical specifications of an emergency stop button in the train toilet and Vic shares the peril of teaching an A list...
10.02.2023
Ep. 155 RIP Mike
In this weeks episode of No Holes Barred, Vic & Laura pay homage to the legend that is Laura's Dad, Mike, who sadly passed away last week. They also discuss why Vic now identifies as a crocodile and how cruise...
09.25.2023
Ep. 154 Spudbum
This episode is sponsored by Better Help. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/noholes and get on your way to being your best self. Get started today and enjoy 10% off your first month In this week's episode of No Holes...
09.18.2023
Ep 153. Bacterial Spaginosis
In this week's episode of No Holes Barred Vic and Laura get giddy at giggly at the sheer delight of recording the podcast, losing a condom and fanny flannels once again make a come back for one poor tired dad...
09.11.2023
Ep. 152 Double fisted fud
In this week's episode of No Holes Barred Vic teaches Laura the term for a double handed wank and they hear about the woman who lost a tampon for a hot minute as well as a little fact time about...
09.04.2023
Ep 151. Gunge Gash
In this week's episode of No Holes Barred, Vic & Laura rejoice in the freedom that comes with the kids returning to school, discuss the ethics of sharing your STD status and discover how cavernous Vic's lady garden is. This...
08.29.2023
Ep 150. Tongue Slave
In this week's episode of No Holes Barred Vic and Laura chat the medieval practice of tongue ladies over chairs just so they stay faithful to their husbands. Wonder if that's a valid excuse for being licked out in 2023??...
08.21.2023
Ep. 149 Niff, naff and Triv
In this episode of No Holes Barred, Vic & Laura chat about how they're surviving the summer holidays, find out the error of having nooky in a conservatory and discuss the struggles of parenthood and feeling like a less an...
08.14.2023
Ep. 148 Gouda Gash
In this week's episode of No Holes Barred Vic and Laura talk holidays with kids and how they're a terrible idea and how Vic is sporting a Frankenstein hand post her carpel tunnel surgery. They then talk about the logistics...
08.07.2023
Ep 147. RIP Ian
In this week's episode of No Holes Barred, Vic shares the sad news that her lovely Dad, Ian Emes, has passed away, Laura gives the best health and safety advice about rice and Vic shares the trauma of taking her...
07.31.2023
Ep 146. Trouser Trauma
In this week's episode of No Holes Barred, Vic & Laura hear more of your hilarious confessions, discuss Vic's trauma around her husbands choice of trousers and share the outrageous demands of their pets. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp....
07.25.2023
Ep 145. It's my toes or no toes
In this episodes of No Holes Barred, Vic & Laura discuss the politics of the parent race at sports day, discover the meaning of being a hot wife and delve into the logistics of foot sniffing. This episode is sponsored...
07.18.2023
Ep 144. Melissa Louise, Sex Educator Pt 2
On this week's episode of No Holes Barred, Laura and Vi continue their conversation with Melissa Louise, discussing all things pleasure. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/noholes and get on your way to...
07.11.2023
Ep. 143 Melissa Louise, Sex Educator
In this week's episode of No Holes Barred, we welcome special guest Melissa Louise, a sex educator and pleasure advocate who chats all things tantric sex, erotic blueprints and intimacy and relationships. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online...
07.03.2023
Ep. 142 Bushbuff
In this week's episode of No Holes Barred Laura celebrates the end of her first UK comedy tour and excitedly announce the fact next week's show will be including a very special guest all the way from Mexico who has...
06.26.2023
Ep 141 Cat up the minge
In this week's episode of No Holes Barred, Vic & Laura find out the dangers of possessing long nails, how any household ornament can be turned into a pleasure instrument and what not to say when someone is questioning their...
06.19.2023
Ep 140. Lube the hoover
In this week's episode of No Holes Barred Vic turns 40 and Laura begins her comedy tour of the UK. They pick apart the logistics of how to use a hoover for sexual pleasure as Vic gives her own personal...
06.12.2023
Ep 139. Handstand in the nip
In this week's episode of No Holes Barred, Vic & Laura discuss setting up an all female commune, the highs and lows of dating and imagine what Steve would look like doing a naked handstand. This episode is sponsored by...
06.05.2023
Ep 138. Polo neck Paul
In this week's episode of No Holes Barred, Vic & Laura share some of your deepest darkest confessions, critique the marketing tactics of a sex toy company and Laura relives the trauma of Steve neglecting to show up to his...
05.30.2023
Ep. 137 Sex suitcase
In this weeks episode of No Holes Barred, Vic & Laura chat sobriety, what to do with a used cucumber, how not to share your wife's sex toys and how much luggage is required for a dirty weekend away with...
05.22.2023
Ep 136. Choo choo train of pleasure
In this week's episode of No Holes Barred Vic shares her romantic wedding anniversary celebration and both Laura and Vic share their choo choo train of pleasure celeb line up while trying not to over complicate things with emotions. They...
05.16.2023
Ep. 135 Dim the lights, dim the minge
On this week's episode of No Holes Barred, Vic & Laura discuss the thrilling topic of clover lawns, revel in Laura's Mary Poppins like qualities when she's interacting with other peoples kids and take questions from their lovely audience. This...
05.09.2023
Ep 134. Not my assignment mate
In this weeks' episode of No Holes Barred, Vic and Laura go all green fingered and discuss lawns in far too much depth, we hear from a lady who accidentally empties her bowels in front of the window cleaner and...

What's No Holes Barred about?

Download our free app to listen on your phone

No Holes Barred episodes:

Ep 186. Phantom Farmyard pooer

Ep 184. Fingering Tripe

Ep 183. Tapir tornado

Ep 182. Jack & Rose

Ep 181. Sink turd

Ep 180. Smash the Patriarchy

Ep. 179 Hanging basket

Ep 175. Prodding the Rim

Ep 174. Whale Willy

Ep 173. Use him like a noodle

Ep 172. Mushroom gate

Ep 171. Farts & Custard Tarts

Ep 170. One squirt wonder

Ep. 169 Wear it in, not wank it in

Ep 168. Pussy Tips

Ep 167. Twat Tooth Fairy Strikes

Ep 166. Merry Christmas you filthy animals

Ep 165. Bogan blood fest

Ep 164 Joey from friends

Ep 163. Look great on the outside, dead on the inside

Ep 162. Bum Worm Bandit

Ep 161. The one where Laura randomly hugs a taxi driver

Ep 160. Live show from the Cheerful Earful podcast festival

Ep 159. Diarrhoea dick

Ep 158 Vagina Bogey

Ep 157. Welcome a sausage into my folds

Ep 157. Dog walk gone wrong

Ep 156. The poop train

Ep. 155 RIP Mike

Ep. 154 Spudbum

Ep 153. Bacterial Spaginosis

Ep. 152 Double fisted fud

Ep 151. Gunge Gash

Ep 150. Tongue Slave

Ep. 149 Niff, naff and Triv

Ep. 148 Gouda Gash

Ep 147. RIP Ian

Ep 146. Trouser Trauma

Ep 145. It's my toes or no toes

Ep 144. Melissa Louise, Sex Educator Pt 2

Ep. 143 Melissa Louise, Sex Educator

Ep. 142 Bushbuff

Ep 141 Cat up the minge

Ep 140. Lube the hoover

Ep 139. Handstand in the nip

Ep 138. Polo neck Paul

Ep. 137 Sex suitcase

Ep 136. Choo choo train of pleasure

Ep. 135 Dim the lights, dim the minge

Ep 134. Not my assignment mate