Regulation Basics: Protection or Connection Neural Pathways – Which System are You Running Right Now? (166)

Everyone is familiar with reacting “in the heat of the moment,” but do we really understand what that means? Regulation basics include the protection or connection pathways to interpersonal relating.

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In this episode, Sue Marriott and Ann Kelley unravel the mystery behind our nervous systems auto-pilot settings: protection vs connection. They simplify otherwise complex ideas by breaking in to 2 main points.   Becoming aware whether you are in the Protection/Defense versus Connection/Secure pathways in our nervous system helps us manage them. Also, how does our story affect how we react and deal with conflict, and how can we mitigate it?

Tune in for this insightful and eye-opening discussion on our internal working models when interacting with others.

Show Notes about regulation and the protection or connection pathways:

00:00 Understanding our internal working model

01:05 Our body responds so much faster than our mind

03:11 The story we tell amplifies the body’s response

05:30 Story vs State: Protective System and the Relational Connective System

08:11 Awareness of our state and identifying the tells of a protective system

16:12 The awareness of self in the presence of another, the relational system

17:49 Our smartest brain

19:30 Tells when you’re in a relational, connective, and reflective place

25:21 Tolerating difficult emotions

29:32 Use your own name to identify yourself

31:24 Ways to calm your body down

36:40 Pre-emptive strike; we get defensive because of the threat inside of our body

39:26 Positive interpretation of a story

41:02 Conclusion

FULL TRANSCRIPT BELOW Keep scrolling -

Important Links:

Steve Porges, of course!  We have tons of stuff on Polyvagal Theory in our library, but here is a previous episode with Dr. Steve Porges directly, plus it includes lot's of other resources click here! 

Great regulation PDF resource by former guest, Deb Dana - Rhythm of Regulation

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