Many of us grew up with or are in a current relationship with someone who is emotionally immature. And if that’s the case, you may feel anger towards that person, and a lingering sense of loneliness and anxiety in intimate relationships. Lindsay Gibson, the author of the bestselling book, Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, helps us understand why these relationships cause us such pain, how to heal, and even how to navigate relationships with an emotionally immature person in our adult life. Join us to learn how to find a new way to be in relationship with an emotionally immature person. 
Listen and Learn:

Why Lindsay first began writing and treating adult children of emotionally immature parents

The value of understanding what emotional immaturity is, but also the caution we should use in applying labels

The hallmark qualities of emotional immaturity (and emotional maturity)

The research that highlights why being raised by an emotionally immature parent can cause such long-term pain

The surprising stance Lindsay has on cultivating compassion for an emotionally immature person

Strategies for growing relationships in that don't resemble those which you were raised with

Understand how you can help a relationship with an emotionally immature person grow

Lindsey’s thoughts on estrangement from an emotionally immature parent or partner


Resources

Ed Tronick’s still face experiment


Fault Lines: Fractured Families and How to Mend Them, by Karl Pillemer

Atlantic Article: Why Parents and Kids Get Estranged



About Lindsay Gibson
Lindsay C. Gibson, PsyD, is a clinical psychologist in private practice who specializes in individual psychotherapy with adult children of emotionally immature parents. She is author of Who You Were Meant to Be and writes a monthly column on well-being for Tidewater Women magazine and she’s here today to talk with me about her books, Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents and Recovering From Emotionally Immature Parents. Welcome, Linsday!

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263. Relationships with Emotionally Immature People with Lindsay Gibson

We are four experts in psychology, bringing you science-backed ideas that can help you flourish in your work, relationships, and health.

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Our 20s are a time of great change and transformation. But many people overlook this and label them "snowflakes" for not having certain things, like partners, houses, mortgages, big jobs, or kids. The truth is that trying to achieve all those milestones at once without any guarantee of success can leave us feeling insecure and stressed. For this episode, we bring you guest, Meg Jay, a clinical psychologist who joins us to chat about her new book, The Twentysomething Treatment: A Revolutionary Remedy for an Uncertain Age. Her insights are valuable for anyone in their twenties, about to enter their twenties, or even in their early thirties. Even If you are a parent with young adult children or a therapist who works with young adults, her book offers a solid foundation to help you understand the experiences of individuals at this developmental stage.
Listen and Learn: 

Are we being too hard on twenty-somethings? 

What do evolution and science tell us about the role of uncertainty for humans?

The impact of technology, particularly the internet and social media, on the difficulties faced by individuals in their twenties

Is medication always the best medicine? 

Your default mode network and your task-positive network 

Why your twenties may not be the best years of your life (and why that's okay!!)

Is work the leading cause of stress and anxiety in 20-somethings?

Finding your purpose as a 20-something 

Resources:

Meg’s website: https://megjay.com/



The Twentysomething Treatment: A Revolutionary Remedy for an Uncertain Age: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9781668012291


Connect with Meg on social media: 

https://www.threads.net/@drmegjay

https://twitter.com/drmegjay

https://www.tiktok.com/@drmegjay

https://www.linkedin.com/in/meg-jay-phd/

https://www.instagram.com/drmegjay/


About Meg Jay
Meg Jay, PhD, is a developmental clinical psychologist who specializes in twentysomethings. She is the author of The Twentysomething Treatment: A Revolutionary Remedy for an Uncertain Age, Supernormal: The Secret World of the Family Hero and the cult classic The Defining Decade: Why Your Twenties Matter and How to Make the Most of Them Now. Her books have been translated into more than a dozen languages and her work has appeared in the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, Harvard Business Review and on NPR, BBC and—maybe most important for her audience—TikTok.  

A recent New York Times profile called Dr. Jay “the patron saint of striving youth, a prophet-like figure for a generation of young people buried under mixed messaging,” and her TED talk “Why 30 Is Not the New 20” is among the most watched to date.  Dr. Jay earned a doctorate in clinical psychology, and in gender studies, from the University of California, Berkeley. She is on faculty at the University of Virginia and maintains a private practice in Charlottesville. 
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352. Twentysomethings with Meg Jay

As humans, we face this dilemma of wanting to live life to the fullest, but also taking everything for granted, including time. We often only realize the importance of time when we have little time left. Don’t let that be you! In an episode with Jodi Wellman, we dive into her phenomenal book, You Only Die Once: How to Make It to the End with No Regrets. We have about 4,000 Mondays in our lifetime, and if we're halfway through, we have roughly 2,000 to go. The good news is that you are in charge of how you spend those days. Drawing upon principles of positive psychology, practical tips, and research-backed data, Jodi's book will provide you with a fresh perspective and renewed appreciation for life!
Listen and Learn: 

The impetus that made Jodi aware of her deep-seated fear of dying with regrets and inspired her book, You Only Die Once 


Why do we only realize the importance of time when we have little left?

How the Grim Reaper is a prominent character in Jodi’s book and message 

Regrets of commission vs regrets of omission 

What is death reflection?

Ideas for gaining vitality in your life 

Finding meaning in life 

The value in pre-savoring and savoring the things that bring you joy in life  


Resources:


Visit Jodi’s website: https://fourthousandmondays.com/


You Only Die Once: How to Make It to the End with No Regrets

Connect with Jodi on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/fourthousandmondays/


Connect with Jodi on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/fourthousandmondays/


If you are interested in working with Michael: herold.coach/book



About Jodi Wellman
Jodi Wellman is a former corporate executive turned executive coach. She has a Master’s in Applied Positive Psychology from the University of Pennsylvania, where she is an instructor in the Master’s program and a trainer in the world-renowned Penn Resilience Program. She is a Professional Certified Coach with the ICF and a Certified Professional Co-Active Coach from CTI. She has coached and spoken with clients like American Express, Fidelity, pwc, Royal Bank of Canada, BMW, and more, and runs her own business, Four Thousand Mondays. She lives between Palm Springs and Chicago with her husband and cat, Andy. You can watch her inspirational TEDx Talk on how death can bring you back to life.

Related Episodes

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351. You Only Die Once with Jodi Wellman

Are you seeking effective strategies to help your anxious child thrive and grow? In an interview with clinical psychologist and best-selling author, Regine Galanti about her book, "Parenting Anxious Kids, Understanding Anxiety in Children by Age and Stage", we talk about the importance of differentiating between "normal" and problematic anxiety in children, spending one-on-one time with kids to build self-esteem, and the use of praise. Regine also describes how parents can focus on changing behaviors rather than controlling feelings. Her book is an incredibly empowering resource and offers many strategies and guidance on creating realistic parenting goals for anxious kids. Whether you're a parent, work with children, or plan to have kids in the future, this conversation is full of valuable tips and science-backed insights!

Listen and Learn: 

What inspired Regine to write Parenting Anxious Kids: Understanding Anxiety in Children by Age and Stage


Why our brains are wired to feel anxiety as an emotion and why it can be a good thing 

How have cultural shifts informed parenting, and what role does anxiety play in this? 

Examples of typical parental worries and fears at different ages and stages that don't mean a child has an anxiety problem

What behaviors cross into problematic anxiety in children?

Explaining accommodation, a fundamental concept in childhood anxiety and parenting

What is reassurance giving, how can this be a problem for your child's anxiety, and how can you respond differently to interrupt the loop?

If a magic button made your child's anxiety completely disappear, how would your child's life be different? How would your life and your family's life be different, if at all?

Introducing the principle of special time and why it's so key to parenting anxious kids

Are anxious kids more sensitive to experiencing shame? 

What is the HALT acronym, and how is it helpful?

Parental strategies for dealing with frustration tolerance issues in the 6-10 age group

Supporting middle and high schoolers with anxious thoughts 


Resources:

Long Island Behavioral Psychology: https://www.longislandbehavioral.com/team



SPACE Treatment: https://www.spacetreatment.net/


Connect with Regine on: 

https://www.tiktok.com/@dr.galanti?lang=en
https://www.instagram.com/regine.galanti/reels/
https://twitter.com/reginegalanti?lang=en

About Regine Galanti
Regine Galanti is a clinical psychologist and best-selling author with expertise in anxiety and OCD in kids and teens. Dr. Galanti started writing in order to share the tools she teaches families in therapy with a wider audience. She also enjoys speaking to parents, schools, and media outlets to share information about effective mental health information in children. She has been quoted in the New York Times, Washington Post, Buzzfeed, and other sources. When she's not working, or writing, she lives in Long Island, NY with her husband and 3 daughters. 

Related Episodes: 

344. Differently Wired Kids with Deborah Reber

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14. Mindful Parenting

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350. Parenting Anxious Kids with Regine Galanti

Want to change your relationship with food? This incredible interview with Judson Brewer, a pioneer in the field of habit change and author of The Hunger Habit: Why We Eat When We're Not Hungry and How to Stop, will not only deepen your understanding of your eating behavior patterns and triggers, but you'll also learn how to completely shift your habits with kindness and curiosity. Listen in for a slew of actionable tips, modern science, and ancient wisdom from Judson; discover which foods are best for your body while still enjoying the foods you like; and strengthen your understanding of how your brain works and how to make permanent changes in your life based on that knowledge.

Listen and Learn: 

How his struggle to help patients with binge eating and overeating led Judson to write The Hunger Habit


What's the issue we're facing as a society and culture with eating and food in general?

Why keeping a healthy diet by measuring what you eat comes with its own set of challenges

How our food consumption instincts have evolved and gotten mixed up in modern times

Identifying the patterns that bring us to eat

How you can practice kindness to facilitate openness and learning from experiences 

Recalling past experiences before engaging in habitual behavior to make better decisions and avoid repeating negative experiences in the future


Resources: 

Visit Judson’s Website: https://drjud.com/


The Hunger Habit: Why We Eat When We're Not Hungry and How to Stop

A simple way to break a bad habit | Judson Brewer | TED

Connect with Judson on Instagram, Twitter, YouTube, and Facebook



About Judson Brewer 
Judson Brewer M.D., Ph.D., is an internationally renowned addiction psychiatrist and neuroscientist. He is a professor in the School of Public Health and Medical School at Brown University. His 2016 TED Talk, “A Simple Way to Break a Bad Habit,” has been viewed more than 19 million times. He has trained Olympic athletes and coaches, government ministers, and business leaders. His first book, The Craving Mind, was published in more than sixteen languages. His second book, Unwinding Anxiety, was an instant New York Times bestseller.

Related Episodes:

188. Unwinding Anxiety with Judson Brewer

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264. Raising Intuitive Eaters with Sumner Brooks and Amee Severson

31. DBT for Binge Eating with Debra Safer


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349. The Hunger Habit with Judson Brewer

Are you prioritizing quick fixes over lasting joy in our pursuit of health and wellness? With a focus on promoting long-term health behavior changes rather than short-lived fitness programs that quickly lose momentum, we welcome award-winning researcher and sustainable-change coach Michelle Segar. We are honored to interview Michelle, who is the author of the acclaimed book, The Joy Choice: How to Finally Achieve Lasting Changes in Eating and Exercise. Her thirty years of expertise and science-backed research are sure to inspire and enlighten anyone looking to make positive, sustainable changes in their health and lifestyle.

Listen and Learn: 

The main reasons people give for wanting to engage in exercise and health behaviors and why they can get us into trouble

Reasons that would be more effective in helping you get active

The limitations of habit formation when it comes to changing complex behaviors like exercise

Permitting yourself to prioritize self-care

How perfection can become problematic 

Practical strategies for incorporating sustainable exercise into your life 


Resources: 

Michelle’s website: michellesegar.com


The Joy Choice: How to Finally Achieve Lasting Changes in Eating and Exercise

No Sweat: How the Simple Science of Motivation Can Bring You a Lifetime of Fitness

Online beginner ballet: https://brocheballetonline.com/ 

Connect with Michelle on X and LinkedIn



About Michelle Segar
Michelle Segar, Ph.D. is an award-winning, NIH-funded researcher at the University of Michigan with thirty years studying how to help people adopt exercise and other self-care behaviors in ways that can be sustained within the unpredictability of the real world. Her research on creating sustainable change is widely recognized as uniquely pragmatic for real-world applications. An advisor to the World Health Organization on their global physical activity initiatives, Michelle was also selected to be the inaugural chair of the United States National Physical Activity Plan’s Communication Committee. She consults with leading organizations, including Kaiser Permanente, Walmart, WW, Anytime Fitness, Adidas, and Business Group on Health. Michelle’s synergistic combination of academic research with real-world sustainable-change curriculum design and coaching permit her to create engaging and practical sustainable-change systems for digital health and individual coaching/counseling. She certifies professionals in her sustainable-change methods and licenses them to large organizations. Michelle is frequently interviewed about how to help consumers and patients change their mindsets, cultivate lasting motivation and sustainable physical activity in major media outlets including The New York Times, NPR, The Atlantic, Forbes, The Wall Street Journal, The Washington Post, Prevention, Real Simple, and TIME. Michelle’s training and experience is uniquely comprehensive, including a doctorate in Psychology (PhD), a master’s degree in Health Behavior/Health Education (MPH), a master’s degree in Kinesiology (MS) and fellowships in translational research and health care policy from the University of Michigan. She ran with the Olympic Torch at the 1992 Olympics in Barcelona.

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263. Relationships with Emotionally Immature People with Lindsay Gibson

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