This episode originally aired on August 1st, 2023

Parenting a child with a vulnerable nervous system can feel like navigating a maze blindfolded. But what if we told you that understanding the balance between enabling and co-regulation could be your guiding light? This week, we break down this crucial contrast, demystifying the term 'enabling', often misconstrued in the mental health field, and venture into the science behind lowering demands - a strategy that can bolster your child’s stress response system.

In this episode you'll learn:The importance of being self-attuned to what's hard vs. too hardHow to determine between lowering demands for your own comfort and doing it because it is genuinely too arduous for your childThe difference between enabling/codependent behaviors and co-regulationResources mentioned in this podcast:
Connection or Protection??? {7}
What to do after We Mess up {80}
Stress Response System {94}

 Read a the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/Enabling

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram Over on my website you can find: Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With :::
Reframing Resistance: Supporting Parents & Caregivers through the lens of Relational Neuroscience
3-hour virtual workshop for professionals
June 25, 10-1pm eastern
Everyone receives the recording
https://RobynGobbel.com/ReframingResistance I'll be keynoting the Families Rising (formerly NACAC!) VIRTUAL conference this summer!

All the details are here: RobynGobbel.com/FamiliesRising :::::
Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!

Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!

Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

REPLAY: Enabling vs Low-Demand Parenting

Formerly the Parenting after Trauma podcast, internationally recognized children's mental health expert Robyn Gobbel decodes the most baffling behaviors for parents of kids with vulnerable nervous systems. If you're parenting a child who has experienced trauma or toxic stress or a child with a neuroimmune disorder, sensory processing, or other nervous system vulnerability, this show will let you know you are not alone. You can stop playing behavior whack-a-mole because Robyn offers you tools that actually work.&nbsp;

You can become your child's expert, feel more confident as a parent, and bring more connection and clarity into your family.

Educators, therapists, coaches and consultants- you too can learn all about what behavior really is and become more effective at helping the families you support. You can love your work again!



Kids & Family

Parenting

Health & Fitness

Mental Health

What does my child need for their success to be inevitable? If I wanted to paint the top of a 20 foot wall, I’d rent some scaffolding.  Scaffolding makes the floor higher and would get me as close to the top of the wall as I needed.   The scaffolding would help make my success inevitable.  It’s not the only thing I need to be successful (paint would come in handy!), but it’s a really important piece.   In parenting, scaffolding is the support that we put in place that allows our children to be successful.  Then, slowly, thoughtful, and sequentially, we decrease the amount of external support needed as our children develop that capacity to be successful on their own.

Read a summary of this episode and access the full show notes at: RobynGobbel.com/Scaffolding

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With :::
Reframing Resistance: Supporting Parents & Caregivers through the lens of Relational Neuroscience
3-hour virtual workshop for professionals
June 25, 10-1pm eastern
Everyone receives the recording
https://RobynGobbel.com/ReframingResistance I'll be keynoting the Families Rising (formerly NACAC!) VIRTUAL conference this summer!

All the details are here: RobynGobbel.com/FamiliesRising :::
Overwhelmed and unsure where to start? Check out the START HERE podcast- I put it together just to answer the question "Where do I start?" Get your invitation at RobynGobbel.com/StartHere :::::
Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!

Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!

Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

REPLAY: Scaffolding is a Form of Co-Regulation

Janet Nordine is a registered play therapist, adoptee, and mental health activist working tirelessly to improve children’s mental health services, specifically in the state of Nevada. 

Janet has an important message for adoptees that I think is relevant to all kids and families who are supporting kids with vulnerable nervous systems:

There is nothing wrong with you. You’ve done nothing wrong. You can be OK.

In this episode, explore

How to help create ‘good parent messages’ for children who feel unloved and unwantedSitting with two conflicting feelings at once The benefits of falling in love with yourself
Resources mentioned in this podcast:

Children’s Mental Wellness Symposium- Las Vegas NVSeptember 26 - 29, 2024Details and registration here: https://lasvegasplaytherapy.com/Good Morning, I Love You by Dr. Shauna Shapiro
Read the full transcript at: https://RobynGobbel.com/NothingWrong

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With




:::
Reframing Resistance: Supporting Parents & Caregivers through the lens of Relational Neuroscience
3-hour virtual workshop for professionals
June 25, 10-1pm eastern
Everyone receives the recording
https://RobynGobbel.com/ReframingResistance I'll be keynoting the Families Rising (formerly NACAC!) VIRTUAL conference this summer!

All the details are here: RobynGobbel.com/FamiliesRising :::
Overwhelmed and unsure where to start? Check out the START HERE podcast- I put it together just to answer the question "Where do I start?" Get your invitation at RobynGobbel.com/StartHere :::::
Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!

Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!

Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

Ep 182: There's Is Nothing Wrong With You! With Guest Janet Nordine

Self-regulation is a crucial developmental milestone and I’m thrilled that we are turning our eyes toward self-regulation instead of staying focused on behavior modification through rewards and consequences.  At the same time, we must remember that self-regulation is developed through repeated and regular experiences of co-regulation with an attuned, regulated, present caregiver.  If children are struggling to use their self-regulation skills, it’s quite possible that they aren’t regulated enough to access those skills.  They are getting dysregulated too quickly and need co-regulation before they can be expected to use skills on their own.  It is these experiences of coregulation that build the neural circuity for what is ultimately labeled self-regulation...so you don’t need to worry that the continued offering of co-regulation will impede the development of self-regulation- it’s exactly the opposite!!!

Humans never outgrow their need for co-regulation!  We all need connection and co-regulation!  Which is exactly why I've created The Club- a virtual community for parents of kids impacted by trauma!

CLICK HERE to read about The Club and join the waitlist for the next time we welcome new members!


Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With :::
Reframing Resistance: Supporting Parents & Caregivers through the lens of Relational Neuroscience
3-hour virtual workshop for professionals
June 25, 10-1pm eastern
Everyone receives the recording
https://RobynGobbel.com/ReframingResistance I'll be keynoting the Families Rising (formerly NACAC!) VIRTUAL conference this summer!

All the details are here: RobynGobbel.com/FamiliesRising :::::
Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!

Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!

Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

REPLAY: Co-Regulation Before Self-Regulation

What’s the connected response to {insert difficult behavior here}?? How do I respond to {insert difficult behavior here} in a connected way??? I get some version of this question almost every day. So, let’s answer it here on the podcast! In this episode, you’ll learnWhat most parents are really asking when they ask ‘what’s the connected response’?What a connected response really isHow to trust your own intuition to answer that questionResources mentioned in this podcast:Felt Safety (Inside) - Part 1 {EP 161}Felt Safety (Outside) - Part 2 {EP 162}Felt Safety (Between) - Part 3 {EP163}What Does Co-Regulation Really Look Like? {EP 81}Boundaries With Connection Part 1 of 3 {EP 111}Building The Tower Of Self-Regulation {EP 9}Stealing {EP 138}Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/connectedresponse

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With 

 :::
Reframing Resistance: Supporting Parents & Caregivers through the lens of Relational Neuroscience
3-hour virtual workshop for professionals
June 25, 10-1pm eastern
Everyone receives the recording
https://RobynGobbel.com/ReframingResistance I'll be keynoting the Families Rising (formerly NACAC!) VIRTUAL conference this summer!

All the details are here: RobynGobbel.com/FamiliesRising :::
Overwhelmed and unsure where to start? Check out the START HERE podcast- I put it together just to answer the question "Where do I start?" Get your invitation at RobynGobbel.com/StartHere :::::
Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!

Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!

Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

EP: 181 What's the "Connected Response" to {Insert Specific Difficult Behavior Here}?

It’s normal and common for stress and dysregulation to cause kids to act younger than they really are. This happens to grown-ups too! Simply because it’s normal and common doesn’t mean it’s not very frustrating!

In this episode, you’ll learn A neurosequential explanation for regressionHow to use regression as a cue or a clue about the state of your child’s nervous systemWays to respond to regressed behavior that may increase regulation, connection, and felt safetyResources mentioned in this podcast:A NueroDevelopmental Approach: Right Intervention, Right Time {EP 47}Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/regression

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With :::
Reframing Resistance: Supporting Parents & Caregivers through the lens of Relational Neuroscience
3-hour virtual workshop for professionals
June 25, 10-1pm eastern
Everyone receives the recording
https://RobynGobbel.com/ReframingResistance I'll be keynoting the Families Rising (formerly NACAC!) VIRTUAL conference this summer!

All the details are here: RobynGobbel.com/FamiliesRising :::::
Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!

Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!

Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

REPLAY: Enabling vs Low-Demand Parenting

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