Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled

By JLML Press

Kids & Family

What's Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled about?

In the 25+ years Janet Lansbury has worked with children and parents, she's learned a lot. She's here to share it with you. Each episode of Unruffled addresses a reader's parenting issue through the lens of Janet's respectful parenting philosophy, consistently offering a perspective shift that ultimately frees parents of the need for scripts, strategies, tricks, and tactics. Janet is a parenting author and consultant whose website (JanetLansbury.com) is visited by millions of readers annually. Her work informs, inspires, and supports caregivers of infants and toddlers across the globe, helping to create authentic relationships of respect, trust, and love. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse and JanetLansbury. Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription. Featured in The New Yorker, recommended 'Best Parenting Podcast' by The Washington Post, The New York Times, The Bump, Fatherly, Today's Parent, and many, many more. Copyright JLML Press (2023) All Rights Reserved

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My Toddler Won't Separate o...

11.28.2023

While it's flattering to be a toddler's chosen one, being prized can become a drain when our child's dependency gets out of hand. In this episode, a mom writes to Janet for help with her 2.5-year-old daughter, who she says ...

Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled episodes:

11.28.2023 My Toddler Won't Separate or Warm Up to Anyone Else While it's flattering to be a toddler's chosen one, being prized can become a drain when our child's dependency gets out of hand. In this episode, a mom writes to Janet for help with her 2.5-year-old daughter, who she says ...
11.21.2023 Stop Making Mealtime a Challenge A parent of a 27-month-old writes that her son refuses to come to the table when called and will not sit in his chair during meals. This parent says they’ve tried just removing his food when he isn't cooperating, but ...
11.14.2023 When Parents Don't See Eye to Eye (with Melina Gac Levin) We all bring different perspectives to parenting that are borne of our upbringing, culture, or religion. Sometimes, we find these perspectives clash over basic parenting issues like sleep, healthy eating, crying, behavior, to name a few. Janet’s guest this week ...
11.07.2023 Our Strong-Willed Child Is Running the Show A parent emails Janet with the subject line: Help! Strong Willed Child. She feels frustrated, exhausted, and completely overwhelmed by her 7-year-old's unmanageable behavior that's been continuous since he was about 3.5. She and her partner have made repeated attempts ...
10.31.2023 Consequences vs Threats vs Punishments From Janet's inbox: A parent wonders if reminding her 3-year-old of negative consequences to his uncooperative behavior is the same as using threats or manipulation. She writes that her goal is not only to help him move through transitions with ...
10.24.2023 Caring for Our Children and Ourselves in Tragic Times Janet shares words of support. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com. Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats ...
10.17.2023 When Our Kids Are Scared How can we help our kids overcome their fears? Most of us have the instinct to provide comfort with messages like "don't worry, you're safe, it will be alright." In this episode, Janet explains why our children often need more ...
10.10.2023 Encouraging Kids To Be More Assertive Most of us hope that as our children venture out into the world, they'll possess enough innate assertiveness to set boundaries and navigate the common struggles of childhood like toy taking, unwanted roughhousing, unkind words, bullying. When our kids don’t ...
10.03.2023 How to be Strong Enough to Make the Really Big Changes Our young kids are adaptable, so it's always possible for us to change routines, rules, and behavior patterns that we decide are no longer beneficial for us or them. Problem is, our kids are bound to object— loudly, vociferously, perhaps ...
09.26.2023 Struggles with Independent Play Self-directed play is a gift that keeps giving with profound benefits for every aspect of our children's development. As an added bonus, nurturing our child's ability to self-entertain affords us the occasional much-deserved break. So, cultivating independent play and establishing ...
09.19.2023 Mean Words, Aggressive Behavior, Stalling, and Other Signs Kids Need Our Help Janet responds to several messages from parents who feel stumped as to how to respond effectively to their children's behaviors. A 4-year-old has been lashing out at his mom and schoolmates. A kindergartner calls her brother "stupid.” Another kindergartner can't ...
09.12.2023 Meltdowns That Keep Happening, Even When We're Doing Everything Right A parent writes that she's feeling helpless and desperate about her 3-year-old's frequent, intense meltdowns, which sometimes last up to an hour. This mom says they usually "relate to control and power struggles where he tells me or my husband ...
09.05.2023 Raising Motivated, Self-Confident, Less Stressed Kids in an Age of Anxiety (with Dr. William Stixrud) Janet’s guest is Dr. William Stixrud, a clinical neuropsychologist and co-author of The Self-Driven Child: The Science and Sense of Giving Your Kids More Control Over Their Lives. Bill Stixrud's decades of experience counseling children and their parents have led ...
08.29.2023 How to Connect with Your Upset Child, Even When There's More Than One Janet responds to a parent with a toddler and four-year-old who struggles to connect with her kids individually, and neither reacts well when the other is getting mom’s attention. For instance, she says when she tries to give her older ...
08.22.2023 Problems with Punishments (Described by a Parent Who Used Them) with Michelle Kenney As a teacher, Michelle Kenney used punishments and rewards to motivate and manage children's behavior in her classroom. Then she became a mom. When her second daughter was born, her first child began exhibiting the typical behavior of an older, ...
08.15.2023 Teaching Kids About Personal Space Toddlers and preschoolers are driven to learn everything about their world, and they are particularly intrigued by the people in it: peers, family members, kids, grown-ups, and most of all their parents. A key aspect of their socialization is learning ...
08.08.2023 Fears Around Starting School A parent writes that her 5-year-old is afraid to start kindergarten. Though she’s sympathetic that this is a big transition for her son, as he’s never been cared for by anyone but his grandparents or a cousin, she’s recovering from ...
08.01.2023 Parent Traps Kids seem to have a sixth sense when it comes to detecting our vulnerabilities as parents. And as adept learners and explorers, they can't help but keep pressing the buttons they discover in us. It can be easy for us ...
07.25.2023 Healing Our Perfectionism (with Emma Nadler) Emma Nadler is a psychotherapist, author, and parent whose life was changed forever when doctors informed her that her second child, Eden, had a rare genetic condition. As she became familiar with the complexities of her daughter’s diagnosis, Emma had ...
07.18.2023 What Science Says About Respectful Parenting (with Anya Dunham, PhD) When scientist Anya Dunham was expecting her first baby, she decided to take a deep dive into the science behind various parenting techniques and philosophies. She was particularly drawn to the ideas Janet shares from the work of Magda Gerber ...
07.11.2023 Our Child Won't Listen The parent of a 4-year-old says he and his partner “have done the best we can to follow the principles of positive parenting,” but their boy has been refusing to follow instructions and often seems to ignore them entirely. His ...
07.05.2023 When Our Kids Reject Us (A Step-By-Step Response) A single mom writes that her spirited five-year-old “has found a new voice and physicality” lately, calling her names, hitting, and taunting her “to try to get a rise." This mom attempts to remain unruffled and contain her anger and ...
06.27.2023 How To Help a Frustrated Child It’s common for young children to get frustrated as they're practicing and mastering new skills. As loving parents, it can be challenging to resist our urge to quell these feelings. We might try to talk our kids out of their ...
06.20.2023 Mental Health Starts in Infancy (with Dr. Angela Fisher-Solomon) “I think families and particularly parents shy away from the term infant mental health. They think, Oh my goodness, does that mean that something is ‘wrong’ with my baby? And it does not mean that at all.” Janet’s guest is ...
06.13.2023 Our Fears as Parents - Real and Imagined (with Dr. Tina Payne Bryson) Becoming a parent changes us. The intense love we feel for our children makes us vulnerable to elements of their lives we don't control. Protective instincts are activated in us that we might never have known we had. From the ...
06.06.2023 Let Kids Choose... Except When They Can't As parents and caregivers, most of us know that it's a good idea to let our kids make choices. Offering choice is one of the ways we demonstrate respect for children as competent people. Making appropriate choices encourages them to ...
05.30.2023 Raising Emotional Intelligence and Resilience for a Meaningful Life (with Susan David) In this encore episode (from the height of the Covid pandemic): Psychologist, author, and TED Talk superstar Susan David joins Janet to discuss how parents can nurture their children’s capacity to process difficult emotions, thoughts, and experiences. “Discomfort is the ...
05.23.2023 What To Do About Embarrassing, Troubling, or Crazy-Making Things Our Kids Say Children are wonderfully honest about what they’re feeling and thinking, and how they view the world around them. When they feel safe with us, they tend to lead from the heart, without filters. That can inspire some eye-opening and entertaining ...
05.16.2023 It's Not Too Late Thoughtful parents write to Janet each week sharing concerns about relational dynamics they regret creating with their children. "Is it too late?" they ask. Janet's reply: "Never." In this encore episode, Janet responds to an email from the parent of ...
05.09.2023 The Science of Intimacy With Our Kids (With Dr. Taniesha Burke) Creating intimate bonds with our children is the primary parenting goal for most of us, and there are enormous benefits. Our kids are far more cooperative when they're regularly reminded that we see and accept them. The mutual trust we ...
05.02.2023 Getting Real With How We Feel (With Elisabeth Corey) “When we understand the reasons we react to our children in the way we do, we can begin to change the way we parent.” Janet welcomes a return visit from trauma survivor Elisabeth Corey, who suffered throughout childhood and her ...
04.25.2023 Words That Get in Our Way Janet frequently advises us not to focus on trying to say the "right" words when we’re engaging with our kids. Why? Because regardless of the words we’re using, our children usually sense what we are feeling and how we are ...
04.18.2023 It Works! Parents Report Powerful Benefits From Allowing Kids' Feelings Allowing our children to vent their feelings, encouraging and even welcoming them however they are expressed (and not taking it personally!), it is not easy at first. It is a practice that requires taking our head and then our heart ...
04.11.2023 When Our Child Won't Accept Boundaries Janet responds to an email from a parent who admits she struggles to establish personal boundaries. She says she has "hit rock bottom" regarding her relationship with her 2-year-old. She tries to set limits and then acknowledge his feelings when ...
04.04.2023 How to Help Kids Behave in Restaurants, Church, Storytime, Music Class, and More We all have certain hopes and expectations of our children when it comes to their behavior in public settings, both organized and informal. We’re often disappointed. The reality is that in any given situation, not every young child will handle ...
03.28.2023 Problems With Other People's Children As conscious parents, we're doing our best to learn to anticipate and respond effectively to our children's behaviors and needs. However, the behaviors of the other children in our kids' lives—friends, relatives, new acquaintances in public environments—are far less predictable. ...
03.21.2023 Preparing Our Children to Be Emotionally Healthy Teens (With Phinnah Chichi) Janet’s guest this week is Phinnah Chichi, an author, lecturer, and parenting coach whose inspired ideas and worldview help to educate and empower both teens and their parents. Phinnah’s work and philosophy dovetail with Janet’s focus on infants and toddlers. ...
03.14.2023 What To Do (and Not Do) When Kids Have Meltdowns, Tantrums, Strong Emotions What do children need from us when they're experiencing intense feelings? What are the best things to say and do to calm their emotional storms? Janet responds to notes from three insightful professionals who express concerns that what they're doing ...
03.07.2023 Stuck in a Pattern of Frustration and Anger A mother laments the close relationship she used to enjoy with her daughter before having another child. Lately, her daughter has been testing limits, and she has found herself losing both her patience and her temper. “I really don’t want ...
02.28.2023 How We Invalidate Our Kids Without Meaning To (And What to Do Instead) With the best of intentions, we can invalidate our kids in subtle ways that make it harder for them to move through their feelings in a healthy manner. Janet responds to three questions from listeners who each recount a specific ...
02.21.2023 Shouldn't They Know Better By Now? It can be confounding when our children behave in negative ways after we've told them umpteen times it’s wrong. Surely they’re aware that we don’t approve! And yet, they repeat the behavior no matter how frustrated, annoyed, or angry we ...
02.14.2023 Becoming Untriggered (with Lavinia Brown and Andrew Lynn) Trauma informed coaches Lavinia Brown and Andrew Lynn join Janet to discuss how they help parents identify triggers and heal wounds that are preventing them from being the parents they wish to be and otherwise negatively impacting their daily lives. ...
02.07.2023 Love Doesn't Mean Walking on Eggshells In this week’s podcast, Janet breaks format slightly by sharing back-and-forth interactions she's had with listeners and her reflections about these exchanges. In the first, a parent eloquently describes a revelation about his children’s challenging behaviors and how they can ...
01.31.2023 Weird, Worrying Behaviors That Our Child Keeps Repeating Janet responds to 3 separate messages from parents who are having issues with their children that are making them confused and unsure of themselves. While the details of the children's behaviors all differ, Janet identifies a common theme in the ...
01.24.2023 Worn Down by a Toddler's Screaming, Testing, and Demands A frustrated parent writes that she and her partner are feeling like failures because their 2.5-year-old is pushy and demanding to the point that they end up losing their patience and yelling. Most challenging of all is that the toddler ...
01.17.2023 Is Parenting Too Hard? You May Be Doing Too Much No matter how we approach raising our children, there are times we'll feel physically, mentally, or emotionally exhausted. Maybe all of the above. We’re only human, of course, but it may also be that we're taking on more than we ...
01.10.2023 More Kids, More Conflict - How Can We Keep the Peace? The parent of three young boys is struggling to deal with their demands and the conflicts between them. If she accommodates one boy’s wishes, the other two react with an opposing desire, jealousy, and fighting. She’s wondering how to cope ...
01.03.2023 Controlling, Rigid, Argumentative Behavior (What It Means and What We Can Do) Janet replies to the concerns of 3 different families who all share that they're struggling with their children's controlling, inflexible, and, in one case, possessive behaviors. The children range in age from 2 to 6, and Janet observes they all ...
12.27.2022 (Encore) A Pep-Talk for Parents: Embracing Our Power to Be Confident Leaders Janet shares what she describes as her most valuable advice for parents -- a mindset that brings clarity to our role in our children's lives, makes our job more enjoyable and successful, and may even offer us personal growth. Janet ...
12.20.2022 The Upside of Toddler Tantrums A parent is uncomfortable with her toddler's tantrums because her child seems so unreachable at these times. The parent's instinct is to reach out, soothe and reassure her child, but she realizes there is no way to get through to ...

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