Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled

By JLML Press

Kids & Family

What's Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled about?

In the 25+ years Janet Lansbury has worked with children and parents, she's learned a lot. She's here to share it with you. Each episode of Unruffled addresses a reader's parenting issue through the lens of Janet's respectful parenting philosophy, consistently offering a perspective shift that ultimately frees parents of the need for scripts, strategies, tricks, and tactics. Janet is a parenting author and consultant whose website (JanetLansbury.com) is visited by millions of readers annually. Her work informs, inspires, and supports caregivers of infants and toddlers across the globe, helping to create authentic relationships of respect, trust, and love. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse and JanetLansbury. Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription. Featured in The New Yorker, recommended 'Best Parenting Podcast' by The Washington Post, The New York Times, The Bump, Fatherly, Today's Parent, and many, many more. Copyright JLML Press (2023) All Rights Reserved

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Let Kids Choose... Except W...

06.06.2023

As parents and caregivers, most of us know that it's a good idea to let our kids make choices. Offering choice is one of the ways we demonstrate respect for children as competent people. Making appropriate choices encourages them to ...

Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled episodes:

06.06.2023 Let Kids Choose... Except When They Can't As parents and caregivers, most of us know that it's a good idea to let our kids make choices. Offering choice is one of the ways we demonstrate respect for children as competent people. Making appropriate choices encourages them to ...
05.30.2023 Raising Emotional Intelligence and Resilience for a Meaningful Life (with Susan David) In this encore episode (from the height of the Covid pandemic): Psychologist, author, and TED Talk superstar Susan David joins Janet to discuss how parents can nurture their children’s capacity to process difficult emotions, thoughts, and experiences. “Discomfort is the ...
05.23.2023 What To Do About Embarrassing, Troubling, or Crazy-Making Things Our Kids Say Children are wonderfully honest about what they’re feeling and thinking, and how they view the world around them. When they feel safe with us, they tend to lead from the heart, without filters. That can inspire some eye-opening and entertaining ...
05.16.2023 It's Not Too Late Thoughtful parents write to Janet each week sharing concerns about relational dynamics they regret creating with their children. "Is it too late?" they ask. Janet's reply: "Never." In this encore episode, Janet responds to an email from the parent of ...
05.09.2023 The Science of Intimacy With Our Kids (With Dr. Taniesha Burke) Creating intimate bonds with our children is the primary parenting goal for most of us, and there are enormous benefits. Our kids are far more cooperative when they're regularly reminded that we see and accept them. The mutual trust we ...
05.02.2023 Getting Real With How We Feel (With Elisabeth Corey) “When we understand the reasons we react to our children in the way we do, we can begin to change the way we parent.” Janet welcomes a return visit from trauma survivor Elisabeth Corey, who suffered throughout childhood and her ...
04.25.2023 Words That Get in Our Way Janet frequently advises us not to focus on trying to say the "right" words when we’re engaging with our kids. Why? Because regardless of the words we’re using, our children usually sense what we are feeling and how we are ...
04.18.2023 It Works! Parents Report Powerful Benefits From Allowing Kids' Feelings Allowing our children to vent their feelings, encouraging and even welcoming them however they are expressed (and not taking it personally!), it is not easy at first. It is a practice that requires taking our head and then our heart ...
04.11.2023 When Our Child Won't Accept Boundaries Janet responds to an email from a parent who admits she struggles to establish personal boundaries. She says she has "hit rock bottom" regarding her relationship with her 2-year-old. She tries to set limits and then acknowledge his feelings when ...
04.04.2023 How to Help Kids Behave in Restaurants, Church, Storytime, Music Class, and More We all have certain hopes and expectations of our children when it comes to their behavior in public settings, both organized and informal. We’re often disappointed. The reality is that in any given situation, not every young child will handle ...
03.28.2023 Problems With Other People's Children As conscious parents, we're doing our best to learn to anticipate and respond effectively to our children's behaviors and needs. However, the behaviors of the other children in our kids' lives—friends, relatives, new acquaintances in public environments—are far less predictable. ...
03.21.2023 Preparing Our Children to Be Emotionally Healthy Teens (With Phinnah Chichi) Janet’s guest this week is Phinnah Chichi, an author, lecturer, and parenting coach whose inspired ideas and worldview help to educate and empower both teens and their parents. Phinnah’s work and philosophy dovetail with Janet’s focus on infants and toddlers. ...
03.14.2023 What To Do (and Not Do) When Kids Have Meltdowns, Tantrums, Strong Emotions What do children need from us when they're experiencing intense feelings? What are the best things to say and do to calm their emotional storms? Janet responds to notes from three insightful professionals who express concerns that what they're doing ...
03.07.2023 Stuck in a Pattern of Frustration and Anger A mother laments the close relationship she used to enjoy with her daughter before having another child. Lately, her daughter has been testing limits, and she has found herself losing both her patience and her temper. “I really don’t want ...
02.28.2023 How We Invalidate Our Kids Without Meaning To (And What to Do Instead) With the best of intentions, we can invalidate our kids in subtle ways that make it harder for them to move through their feelings in a healthy manner. Janet responds to three questions from listeners who each recount a specific ...
02.21.2023 Shouldn't They Know Better By Now? It can be confounding when our children behave in negative ways after we've told them umpteen times it’s wrong. Surely they’re aware that we don’t approve! And yet, they repeat the behavior no matter how frustrated, annoyed, or angry we ...
02.14.2023 Becoming Untriggered (with Lavinia Brown and Andrew Lynn) Trauma informed coaches Lavinia Brown and Andrew Lynn join Janet to discuss how they help parents identify triggers and heal wounds that are preventing them from being the parents they wish to be and otherwise negatively impacting their daily lives. ...
02.07.2023 Love Doesn't Mean Walking on Eggshells In this week’s podcast, Janet breaks format slightly by sharing back-and-forth interactions she's had with listeners and her reflections about these exchanges. In the first, a parent eloquently describes a revelation about his children’s challenging behaviors and how they can ...
01.31.2023 Weird, Worrying Behaviors That Our Child Keeps Repeating Janet responds to 3 separate messages from parents who are having issues with their children that are making them confused and unsure of themselves. While the details of the children's behaviors all differ, Janet identifies a common theme in the ...
01.24.2023 Worn Down by a Toddler's Screaming, Testing, and Demands A frustrated parent writes that she and her partner are feeling like failures because their 2.5-year-old is pushy and demanding to the point that they end up losing their patience and yelling. Most challenging of all is that the toddler ...
01.17.2023 Is Parenting Too Hard? You May Be Doing Too Much No matter how we approach raising our children, there are times we'll feel physically, mentally, or emotionally exhausted. Maybe all of the above. We’re only human, of course, but it may also be that we're taking on more than we ...
01.10.2023 More Kids, More Conflict - How Can We Keep the Peace? The parent of three young boys is struggling to deal with their demands and the conflicts between them. If she accommodates one boy’s wishes, the other two react with an opposing desire, jealousy, and fighting. She’s wondering how to cope ...
01.03.2023 Controlling, Rigid, Argumentative Behavior (What It Means and What We Can Do) Janet replies to the concerns of 3 different families who all share that they're struggling with their children's controlling, inflexible, and, in one case, possessive behaviors. The children range in age from 2 to 6, and Janet observes they all ...
12.27.2022 (Encore) A Pep-Talk for Parents: Embracing Our Power to Be Confident Leaders Janet shares what she describes as her most valuable advice for parents -- a mindset that brings clarity to our role in our children's lives, makes our job more enjoyable and successful, and may even offer us personal growth. Janet ...
12.20.2022 The Upside of Toddler Tantrums A parent is uncomfortable with her toddler's tantrums because her child seems so unreachable at these times. The parent's instinct is to reach out, soothe and reassure her child, but she realizes there is no way to get through to ...
12.13.2022 Nurturing a Deeper Connection to Nature and Heritage (with Ashley Causey-Golden) Educator Ashley Causey-Golden was drawn to Montessori principles but felt something missing that she longed to provide: cultural relevancy. She wondered, "What would it look like to create a Montessori space that uplifted, affirmed, celebrated Black children?" Fulfilling this desire ...
12.06.2022 Best Ways to Encourage Independent Play Janet addresses a parent’s concerns about her daughter’s unwillingness to play independently. She seems to need constant stimulation and entertainment. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at www.nobadkidscourse.com or www.JanetLansbury.com. For more advice on common infant/toddler parenting issues, ...
11.29.2022 Navigating Get-Togethers with Relatives, Friends, and Their Kids We may not always agree with the parenting styles of our relatives and friends, and that's okay. Get-togethers can still be enjoyable, positive social experiences for us and for our kids. In this episode, Janet offers her perspective on some ...
11.22.2022 It's Hard to Feel Compassion for Unreasonable Emotions A concerned parent writes that her 3-year-old seems to be in a constant state of frustration or anxiety, and she makes outlandish demands and cries when she doesn’t get her way. While this mom tries to be compassionate, it’s getting ...
11.15.2022 Raising Creative, Critical Thinkers in a Commercialized World (with Susan Linn) Janet's guest is psychologist, writer, researcher, and Harvard lecturer Susan Linn. For decades, Susan has been a passionate advocate for our children and a steadfast fighter against the infiltration of Big Business and Big Tech into kids' lives (and parents' ...
11.08.2022 End of the Day Crazies with Kids Many of us imagine late afternoons or evenings with our children as the perfect time to wind down and connect after a busy day. Unfortunately, this is often precisely when our children need to unload the day’s stresses. Which means ...
11.01.2022 Boundaries We Need and Deserve (with Nedra Tawwab) Janet is joined by Nedra Tawwab: therapist, relationship expert, and author of the NY Times best-seller “Set Boundaries, Find Peace.” Nedra and Janet discuss how our personal boundaries with friends, family, co-workers, and children are crucial for building positive, healthy ...
10.25.2022 When We're Too Late to Stop the Behavior (Now What?) A parent with a family in transition writes about a series of mischievous and sometimes destructive incidents perpetrated by her toddler. She’s wondering how to address these situations, especially after the fact when the deed is already done. Janet's "No ...
10.18.2022 The Beauty of Sleep (with Eileen Henry) Sleep is an essential element of our happiness and well-being. If our child is not sleeping, then chances are good that we aren’t either. Many families are content with the sleep situations in their households, and more power to them. ...
10.11.2022 How Sportscasting Helps Kids Develop Social Intelligence Janet responds to a mother who writes that she tries to sportscast disagreements between her older two children, but since the 2-year-old isn’t verbal yet, “it’s hard when I don’t really know what he’s thinking.” She’s wondering how to sportscast ...
10.04.2022 Stressed by a Child's Demands for Attention A frustrated parent who describes herself as “desperate for help” seeks advice about her persistent, high-energy 2.5-year-old, who dominates her and her husband's time and energy with relentless demands to be the focus of their universe -- all day, every ...
09.27.2022 Teaching Our Kids Patience Our children's impatience and low tolerance for frustration can… well, test our patience! In this week's episode, Janet responds to a question from a listener about how to teach a toddler to be more patient. Janet considers what patience really ...
09.20.2022 Independent Play, Meltdowns, Boundaries -- Success Stories from My Inbox A parent who’s always been her toddler’s playmate helps her child over the hump to flourish in independent play. Another parent learns to set boundaries, shift her perspective, and accept her child’s meltdowns. Janet shares a special milestone and much ...
09.13.2022 How to Avoid a Stand-Off When Kids "Disobey" Janet responds to a parent who wonders how to react to her daughter's consistently stubborn behavior. "I feel like I have a set of tools to handle my 4-year-old daughter's outbursts of emotions, but I am at a loss for ...
09.06.2022 Help Me Stop Yelling at My Child Janet responds to an email from a parent who says that lately, she has found herself yelling at her 3-year-old, who’s been having a difficult time since the birth of her brother. She realizes that yelling is not helping her ...
08.30.2022 Childhood Wounds We Never Knew We Had (Until Kids) with Dr. Jean Cheng Clinical psychologist Jean Cheng joins Janet to discuss the puzzling, painful, and self-defeating feelings that our children's behaviors can bring up in us as parents. No matter how well educated and prepared we are for this role, we might find ...
08.23.2022 Hitting, Screaming, Calling Us Names (and What We Can Do About it) Janet helps a struggling parent understand her spirited toddler’s aggressive behavior and offers suggestions to respond more effectively. For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible, FREE with a 30-day trial membership if ...
08.16.2022 Lessons, Sports, and Hobbies: A Child-Led Approach How do we help our children benefit from the privilege of extracurricular activities? At what age should we enroll our kids in lessons and sports? Janet has a child-centered approach that not everyone will agree with, but she believes is ...
08.09.2022 Easing Our Children's Transition to School It can be so hard to separate from our children sometimes! Particularly if they cry, seem anxious, or strongly object. How can we prepare our children (and ourselves) for a successful transition? Janet responds to emails from two different families ...
08.02.2022 Validating Feelings Isn't Working The practice of acknowledging our children's feelings and struggles can provide healing, calming messages of safety and acceptance. With a genuine tone and a few words, our acknowledgments can help children share pent-up emotions, feel seen and heard, and gradually ...
07.26.2022 When Your Kids Won't Give You a Break The mother of two boys feels they are constantly testing her limits and always at her side demanding attention. They won’t allow her a moment to handle daily chores like laundry or cooking, never mind her personal needs. “They think ...
07.19.2022 Is 'Gentle Parenting' Too Extreme and Impossible? Janet shares an exchange she had with a parent who wonders how anyone can possibly live up to the extreme idealism of "gentle parenting." She writes: “It sounds so lovely… but it’s also crushing to never be able to live ...
07.12.2022 Boosting Your Child's Self-Confidence We all aspire for our children to grow up with a positive self-image and an abundance of self-confidence. When life throws our child a dilemma, it’s our natural instinct to want to fix it, or at least work them through ...
07.05.2022 Boundaries That Encourage the Most Positive Sibling Relationships A mother writes that her toddler son “can’t keep his hands off” his 10-month old sister. She describes his demeanor as a mixture of excitement and affection, but she also senses an undertone of aggression. She wants them both to ...
06.28.2022 Don't Let Your Kids Miss Out on Play (with Kisha Reid) Early childhood expert Kisha Reid joins Janet in a lively conversation about the often overlooked and underestimated benefits of play-driven learning and how we can nurture these lifelong gifts for our children. Kisha and Janet discuss the magic of trusting ...

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