Steve starts a series on Differentiation, first focusing on detachment. What it is, what it feels like to the other and tips to move toward the other when you want to detach.    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Episode 122: Steve Cuss on Detachment

A new podcast from Christianity Today, Being Human with Steve Cuss is Christian counseling in podcast form. Steve Cuss, a former trauma and hospice chaplain, pastor, and leadership coach, guides listeners with a gospel-informed journey of discovery into the world of emotional health: everything from anxiety and reactivity, to triangulation, overfunctioning, and the Enneagram.

Religion & Spirituality

Other

Spirituality

Christianity

Buddhism

Hinduism

Judaism

Islam

Health & Fitness

Mental Health

How many minutes per week do you think you can be exactly yourself? That’s the question that host Steve Cuss poses at the beginning of this episode, and it takes on specific meaning as he converses with his guest, Marvin Williams. Williams is the lead pastor of Trinity Church in Lansing, Michigan, and is currently earning his doctorate in systems theory, particularly as it pertains to the African-American experience. His forthcoming dissertation, My Whole Black Self, considers what it’s like to be exactly yourself and what happens when people cannot be exactly themselves.  Cuss and Williams discuss what drew Williams to systems theory, how leadership starts with personal transformation, and what it looks like to live in one’s identity fully. They talk about bullying, anxiety, and the Black writers, thinkers, and experts who have influenced Williams’ perspective. The two discuss connectedness, what it’s like to be in majority culture spaces, and how calmness is not always the opposite of anxiety. Their discussion also explores violence against Black Americans, the nuances of pastoring, and the role of politics in the life of the church.  The Expectation Gap by Steve Cuss is now available—order here! Resources mentioned in this episode include: 
Marvin Williams

A Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix by Edwin H. Friedman
Murray Bowen
Bowen family systems theory
Trisha Taylor
“To Belong to One Another: Remaining Calm and Curious in Times of High Anxiety” with Rich Villodas

The Souls of Black Folk from W.E.B. Du Bois

Psychological Storms: The African American Struggle for Identity by Thomas Parham
Charlie Dates

Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison

 “Being Human with Steve Cuss” is a production of Christianity Today   Executive Produced by Erik Petrik and Mike Cosper   Produced and Edited by Matt Stevens   Associate Producers: McKenzie Hill, Raed Gilliam, and Abby Perry  Theme song by Dan Phelps   Original Music by Andy Gullahorn   Mix Engineer: Kevin Morris   Graphic Design: Amy Jones   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My Whole Black Self With Marvin Williams

Gender dynamics in the workplace. What to do when you’re the only one of your kind in the room. The power dynamics and damage of the #MeToo and #ChurchToo scandals. These are some of the heavy topics that Steve Cuss and his guest, leadership development expert Kadi Cole, consider on this episode of Being Human. Their conversation draws upon Cole’s years spent developing women leaders and working with diverse teams as one of the world’s foremost leaders in helping organizations navigate healthy gender dynamics. Cuss and Cole talk about the ways people camouflage themselves to fit into a group, how men and women handle inner confidence differently, and what it looks like to be ourselves in Christ. Their discussion covers how leaders can cultivate safe environments that allow people to show up as they are, the effects of powerful leaders with unaddressed childhood wounds, and how Cole’s background as a nurse prepared her to engage executive leadership with a holistic perspective. They also talk about Momentum Marketplace, Cole’s new initiative to help young, kingdom-minded leaders be mentored in the marketplace. The Expectation Gap by Steve Cuss is now available! Resources mentioned in this episode include:

Kadi ColeDeveloping Female Leaders: Navigate the Minefields and Release the Potential of Women in Your Church by Kadi Cole

Find Your Leadership Voice in 90 Days: How to show up, speak up, and stand out with confidence by Kadi Cole
“Code switching, covering, masking and social camouflage”
Momentum Marketplace

The Expectation Gap: The Tiny, Vast Space between Our Beliefs and Experience of God by Steve Cuss

 “Being Human with Steve Cuss” is a production of Christianity Today Executive Produced by Erik Petrik and Mike Cosper Produced and Edited by Matt Stevens Associate Producers: McKenzie Hill, Raed Gilliam, and Abby Perry Theme song by Dan Phelps Original Music by Andy Gullahorn Mix Engineer: Kevin Morris Graphic Design: Amy Jones   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Men, Women, Power, and Health with Kadi Cole

Is the gospel primarily preventative or redemptive? What did Jesus emphasize between the two?  In this episode of Being Human, Steve is joined by his wife, the Friendly Neighborhood Therapist, Lisa, to consider these questions. They talk about faith gaps, how human development affects the ways we approach faith, and comparing ourselves to the pillars of the faith. Cuss also reads from his upcoming book, The Expectation Gap, which releases on May 28th. Listeners can preorder here. Get your preorder bonuses here! Resources mentioned in this episode include: 
The Gap
“Grieve, Breathe, Receive” with Steve Carter
Camino De Santiago

John F. Kennedy, Jr. playing under the Resolute Desk 
The Crown

Get Out of My Life, but First Could You Drive Me & Cheryl to the Mall: A Parent's Guide to the New Teenager by Anthony E. Wolf

Aurora Leigh by Elizabeth Barrett Browning

The Expectation Gap: The Tiny, Vast Space between Our Beliefs and Experience of God by Steve Cuss

Preorder bonuses for The Expectation Gap


 “Being Human with Steve Cuss” is a production of Christianity Today   Executive Produced by Erik Petrik and Mike Cosper   Produced and Edited by Matt Stevens   Associate Producers: McKenzie Hill, Raed Gilliam, and Abby Perry  Theme song by Dan Phelps   Original Music by Andy Gullahorn   Mix Engineer: Kevin Morris   Graphic Design: Amy Jones   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Is the Gospel Preventative or Redemptive?

Steve Cuss has a special burden for pastors and church staff. As someone who spent 27 years in such roles, he knows the unique challenges personally. On this episode, Cuss shares some of his own journey, including how he struggled with conflating his identities as a child of God and what felt like being an employee of God. Cuss talks about the gap between what we believe about God and what we experience from God. He guides listeners through the story of Peter walking on water (Matt. 14). Cuss discusses peace, freedom, and love, inviting us to help our body align with our head beliefs so we can relax into God’s presence. Cuss also reads from his upcoming book, The Expectation Gap, releasing May 28, which listeners can preorder here. Preorder bonuses are available here. Resources mentioned in this episode include:

Managing Leadership Anxiety: Yours and Theirs by Steve Cuss
“From a Distance”
Matthew 14

The Expectation Gap: The Tiny, Vast Space between Our Beliefs and Experience of God by Steve Cuss

Preorder bonuses for The Expectation Gap


 “Being Human with Steve Cuss” is a production of Christianity Today Executive Produced by Erik Petrik and Mike Cosper Produced and Edited by Matt Stevens Associate Producers: McKenzie Hill, Raed Gilliam, and Abby Perry Theme song by Dan Phelps Original Music by Andy Gullahorn Mix Engineer: Kevin Morris Graphic Design: Amy Jones   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The Expectation Gap

“Did you have integrity today?” That’s the question that Steve Carter, author, podcaster, and former lead teaching pastor of Willow Creek Community Church, pictured his son asking him when allegations of sexual harassment against Bill Hybels emerged. Carter realized he couldn’t go “play church.” He had to take the allegations seriously and act with integrity, which, for him, looked like resigning. On this episode of Being Human, Cuss and Carter discuss what it looks like to have integrity when mentors and institutions fail us. They talk about the heartbreak of losing beloved communities, navigating relationships when people feel betrayed, and how difficult it is to see broken systems when inside them.  Carter shares how he has dealt with the weight of being misunderstood, the way some of his highest values were wielded against him, and what it was like to deal with public loss and accusation as an Enneagram Three. He and Cuss talk about the power of the resurrection and the two Greek words that became an anchor for Carter. And they discuss what propelled Carter to write Grieve, Breathe, Receive—a stunning memoir on grief and healing that recounts Carter leaving Willow Creek Church, entering a wilderness season, and enduring loss upon loss upon loss, from income and reputation to precious family members and more. Resources mentioned in this episode include: 

Luke: Interpretation: A Bible Commentary for Teaching and Preaching by Fred B. Craddock
Steve Carter

Craft & Character with Steve Carter

Grieve, Breathe, Receive: Finding a Faith Strong Enough to Hold Us by Steve Carter

The Thing Beneath the Thing: What's Hidden Inside (and What God Helps Us Do About It) by Steve Carter
Willow Creek Community Church
“Managing Leadership Anxiety: Yours and Theirs” 
“Cadet Prayer”
Annie F. Downs
Ira Glass
Camino De Santiago
“What Is a Verbatim?”
Compassion International
“Welcoming Practice”
The Worst James Harden Flops

 “Being Human with Steve Cuss” is a production of Christianity Today   Executive Produced by Erik Petrik and Mike Cosper   Produced and Edited by Matt Stevens   Associate Producers: McKenzie Hill, Raed Gilliam, and Abby Perry  Theme song by Dan Phelps   Original Music by Andy Gullahorn   Mix Engineer: Kevin Morris   Graphic Design: Amy Jones   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Episode 122: Steve Cuss on Detachment

Download our free app to listen on your phone