Hello! It's me, your real imaginary friend, Helen Zaltzman.

Someone wrote to me recently saying, “I haven't seen a new episode, are you OK?” I'm OK, thank you! I took a break for some work things such as the return of my other podcast Answer Me This, and also to have a vacation. Hadn't had one of those for a bit. It was very nice. Strongly recommend vacation.

But the show will be back on the 9th May with a season about… four letter words! That's right: some of your favourite category A swears - and some not swears. If you have some favourite four letter words you want me to investigate, let me know.

There will be some behind-the-scenes podfeed shenanigans happening before then.So if you don't see more Allusionist appearing in your pod feed by 10th of May, then you're going to have to search for it in your podcast app and resubscribe because your subscription will have been kicked off by the behind the scenes shenanigans. And always the show is up to date at theallusionist.org.

Other news: live Allusionist shows are coming to Toronto on the 1st of June and Montréal on the 9th of June. We will be performing our very entertaining live show Souvenirs, which features some ancient swearing history that messes up our technology nearly a thousand years later, as well as the incredible story of a friendship torn asunder by a typeface. Plus, I'll be selling my hand-drawn tea towels, and anyone who comes along gets a free bookmark illustrated by me also.

Get your tickets now at theallusionist.org/events and I'll be back in your ears on May the 9th. Farewell! - HZ

Support the show: http://patreon.com/allusionist

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Happy tenth birthday to this show! To celebrate, here's every randomly selected word from the dictionary from the first decade of the show. 

Visit theallusionist.org/randomlyselectedwords to read the transcript and get other Tranquillusionist episodes.

The podcast is taking a break until early May 2025, but the Allusioverse will continue to be in full swing: become a member at theallusionist.org/donate. You get regular livestreams with me reading from my ever-expanding collection of dictionaries, inside scoops into the making of this show, and watchalong parties - such as Great Pottery Throwdown (2025), and Cold Comfort Farm (1995). And best of all, you get the company of your fellow Allusionauts in our delightful Discord community. 

There's also a free livestream for everyone happening 18 January 1pm PT/4pm ET/21:00 UTC at youtube.com/allusionistshow.

This episode was produced by me, Helen Zaltzman, with music composed by Martin Austwick of palebirdmusic.com. Find @allusionistshow on Instagram, Facebook, YouTube and Bluesky.

Our ad partner is Multitude. If you want me to talk about your product or thing on the show, sponsor an episode: contact Multitude at multitude.productions/ads. This episode is sponsored by:

• Rosetta Stone, language-learning programs available for 25 different languages. Allusionist listeners get 50% off lifetime memberships at rosettastone.com/allusionist. 
• Understance: comfortable, stylish, size-inclusive bras and undies. Shop the range and learn about your own branatomy at understance.com.
• Curiosity Weekly from Discovery, the podcast that brings us the latest and greatest scientific discoveries, and explains them even for those of us who don’t have a science PhD. Listen to Curiosity Weekly in the places you get your podcasts.
• Squarespace, your one-stop shop for building and running your online forever home. Go to squarespace.com/allusionist for a free 2-week trial, and get 10 percent off your first purchase of a website or domain with the code allusionist.

Support the show: http://patreon.com/allusionist

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It's the annual parade of Bonus Bits - things this year's guests said that I couldn't fit into their episodes, and/or weren't about language, but now is their time to shine. We've got tricorn hats, changing your dog's name, Boston cream pie, parmesan vs vomit, the placebo effect's negative sibling, the universal blank, headache poetry and bawdy riddles. And more! Thanks to, in order of appearance: Joanna Kopaczyk, Juliana Pache, Ben Zimmer, Stacey Mei Yan Fong, A.J. Jacobs, Zazie Todd and Caroline Crampton.

Visit theallusionist.org/bonus2024 for the transcript of this episode, more information about the topics therein, links to all the guest and their original episodes, and all the previous years' bonus episodes.

Content note: this episode contains mentions of cancer and death, and anti-fat culture - but I tell you when that section is about to start, so you can skip ahead by five and a half minutes if you need to.

To help fund this independent podcast, take yourself to theallusionist.org/donate and become a member of the Allusioverse. You get regular livestreams with me reading from my ever-expanding collection of dictionaries, inside scoops into the making of this show, and watchalong parties - coming up, we've got Great Pottery Throwdown 2025, and Cold Comfort Farm (1995). And best of all, you get the company of your fellow Allusionauts in our delightful Discord community. 

And go to theallusionist.org/events for information about the Allusionist's big 10th birthday live show in Vancouver BC on 12 January 2025.

This episode was produced by me, Helen Zaltzman, with music and production assistance from Martin Austwick of palebirdmusic.com. Find @allusionistshow on Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, Bluesky etc.

Support the show: http://patreon.com/allusionist

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In Lexicat part 1, we met the author Mary Robinette Kowal and her cat Elsie, and learned about how they communicate via a set of buttons programmed with words. In part 2, two talking dogs, Bastian and Parker - and their humans, Joelle Andres and Sascha Crasnow - join us too, and explain how they discovered some very unexpected things about what their animal companions are thinking and feeling thanks to the buttons, and how they changed the ways they communicate with other humans too. And animal behaviour expert Zazie Todd gives us some tips for interpreting cats’ and dogs’ body language.

Find out more about the episode and read the transcript at theallusionist.org/lexicat2. 

Content note: this episode contains mentions of Parkinson’s disease, dementia, and death - human and animal death. But no descriptions of death.

To help fund this independent podcast, take yourself to theallusionist.org/donate and become a member of the Allusioverse. You get regular livestreams with me reading from my ever-expanding collection of dictionaries, inside scoops into the making of this show, and watchalong parties - coming up, we've got Carol, Die Hard and Cold Comfort Farm. And best of all, you get to bask in the company of your fellow Allusionauts in our delightful Discord community. 

And go to theallusionist.org/events for information about the upcoming livestreams where I read A Christmas Carol, and the Allusionist's big 10th birthday live show.

This episode was produced by me, Helen Zaltzman, with music and production assistance from Martin Austwick of palebirdmusic.com. Find @allusionistshow on Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, Threads, Bluesky, TikTok, etc.

Our ad partner is Multitude. If you want me to talk about your product or thing on the show, sponsor an episode: contact Multitude at multitude.productions/ads. This episode is sponsored by:

• Squarespace, your one-stop shop for building and running your online bailiwick. Go to squarespace.com/allusionist for a free 2-week trial, and get 10 percent off your first purchase of a website or domain with the code allusionist.
• Constant Wonder, the podcast that opens our eyes and ears to the nature around us and its, yes, constant wonders. Listen to Constant Wonder in your usual podcast-listening places.
• Quince, luxurious clothing and homewares at prices 50-80% lower than comparable brands. Go to Quince.com/allusionist for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns.
• Home Chef, meal kits that fit your needs. For a limited time, Home Chef is offering Allusionist listeners eighteen free meals, plus free shipping on your first box, and free dessert for life, at HomeChef.com/allusionist.

Support the show: http://patreon.com/allusionist

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Elsie the cat has a set of 120 buttons programmed with words. She uses them to lie, swear, apologise, express grief and frustration and love to her human, the author Mary Robinette Kowal, who talks about what's involved in learning to communicate via language buttons with companion animals. And animal behaviour expert Zazie Todd explains how animals might be interacting with human language. 

This is the first half of a two-parter: in the next episode, some talking dogs - and their humans - come to visit, and we hear about the kinds of things you find out about what your animal friend is really thinking, and how it changes the ways you communicate with other humans too.

Find out more about the episode and read the transcript at theallusionist.org/lexicat1. 

Content note: this episode contains a few category B swears.

To help fund this independent podcast, take yourself to theallusionist.org/donate and become a member of the Allusioverse. You get regular livestreams with me reading from my ever-expanding collection of dictionaries, inside scoops into the making of this show, and watchalong parties - coming up, we've got A Room With A View, Carol, Cold Comfort Farm and Hot Frosty. And best of all, you get to bask in the company of your fellow Allusionauts in our delightful Discord community. 

This episode was produced by me, Helen Zaltzman, with music and production assistance from Martin Austwick of palebirdmusic.com. Find @allusionistshow on Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, Threads, Bluesky, TikTok, etc.

Our ad partner is Multitude. If you want me to talk about your product or thing on the show, sponsor an episode: contact Multitude at multitude.productions/ads. This episode is sponsored by:

• CATAN - Dawn of Humankind, the game that lets you experience the rise of early human societies. Buy it at Catanshop.com and use the coupon code ALLUSIONIST to get a 10% discount.
• Audio Maverick, a new 9-part documentary podcast from CUNY TV about radio maven Himan Brown. Hear about the dawn of radio and Brown's remarkable career, via archive footage and new interviews with audio mavericks, by subscribing to Audio Maverick in your podcast app.
• Home Chef, meal kits that fit your needs. For a limited time, Home Chef is offering Allusionist listeners eighteen free meals, plus free shipping on your first box, and free dessert for life, at HomeChef.com/allusionist.
• Squarespace, your one-stop shop for building and running your online bailiwick. Go to squarespace.com/allusionist for a free 2-week trial, and get 10 percent off your first purchase of a website or domain with the code allusionist.

Support the show: http://patreon.com/allusionist

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In 15th and 16th century Scotland, in the highest courts of the land, you'd find esteemed poets hurling insults at each other. This was flyting, a sort of medieval equivalent of battle rap, and it was so popular at the time that the King himself wrote instructions for how to do it well. Writer and Scots language campaigner Ishbel McFarlane and historical linguist Joanna Kopaczyk explain the art of flyting, where an insult becomes slander, what's going on within the speech act of performative diss-trading, and what the legal consequences could be of being accused of witchcraft.

Find out more about the episode and read the transcript at theallusionist.org/flyting. 

Content note: this episode contains brief references to historical capital and corporal punishments, and discussion of insults and slurs; there is also a derogatory term for sex workers, and category A and B swears.

To help fund this independent podcast, take yourself to theallusionist.org/donate and become a member of the Allusioverse. You get regular livestreams with me and my collection of reference books, inside scoops into the making of this show, and watchalong parties - we're enjoying Merchant Ivory films, the current seasons of Great British Bake Off and the Canadian version, and Taskmaster featuring my brother Andy. Coming up, we've got Pride & Prejudice and Carol! And best of all, you get to bask in the company of your fellow Allusionauts in our delightful Discord community. 

This episode was produced by me, Helen Zaltzman, with music and editorial assistance from Martin Austwick of palebirdmusic.com. Find @allusionistshow on Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, Bluesky etc.

Our ad partner is Multitude. If you want me to talk about your product or thing on the show, sponsor an episode: contact Multitude at multitude.productions/ads. This episode is sponsored by:

• Squarespace, your one-stop shop for building and running your online bailiwick. Go to squarespace.com/allusionist for a free 2-week trial, and get 10 percent off your first purchase of a website or domain with the code allusionist.
• Constant Wonder, the podcast that opens our eyes and ears to the nature around us and its, yes, constant wonders. Listen to Constant Wonder in your usual podcast-listening places.
• Rocket Money, the personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions and monitors your spending. Go to rocketmoney.com/allusionist to save money and lower your outgoings.
• LinkedIn Ads: convert your B2B audience into high quality leads. Get $100 credit on your next campaign at linkedin.com/allusionist.

Support the show: http://patreon.com/allusionist

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

There's so much more to say about Singlish after last episode that we're saying some more of it this episode. Poet and academic Gwee Li Sui, author of Spiaking Singlish: A Companion to how Singaporeans Communicate, describes the resistance he received in Singapore when he published Singlish translations of literary works - and why they are important and celebratory for Singlish. And Stacey Mei Yan Fong, baker and author of 50 Pies, 50 States, explains how the language that used to be embarrassing for her is now a huge comfort.

Find out more about the episode and read the transcript at theallusionist.org/singlishsinglish. And listen to the previous episode about Singlish at theallusionist.org/singlish.

To help fund this independent podcast, take yourself to theallusionist.org/donate and become a member of the Allusioverse. You get regular livestreams with me and my collection of reference books, inside scoops into the making of this show, and watchalong parties - we're enjoying Merchant Ivory films, the current seasons of Great British Bake Off and the Canadian version, and Taskmaster featuring my brother Andy. Coming up, we've got What We Do In The Shadows, Pride & Prejudice, and Carol! And best of all, you get to bask in the company of your fellow Allusionauts in our delightful Discord community. 

This episode was produced by me, Helen Zaltzman, with music and editorial assistance from Martin Austwick of palebirdmusic.com. Thanks to Y-Lynn Ong. Find @allusionistshow on Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, Bluesky etc.

Our ad partner is Multitude. If you want me to talk about your product or thing on the show, sponsor an episode: contact Multitude at multitude.productions/ads. This episode is sponsored by:

• Rocket Money, the personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions and monitors your spending. Go to rocketmoney.com/allusionist to save money and lower your outgoings.
• Home Chef, meal kits that fit your needs. For a limited time, Home Chef is offering Allusionist listeners eighteen free meals, plus free shipping on your first box, and free dessert for life, at HomeChef.com/allusionist.
• Squarespace, your one-stop shop for building and running your online bailiwick. Go to squarespace.com/allusionist for a free 2-week trial, and get 10 percent off your first purchase of a website or domain with the code allusionist.
• Constant Wonder, the podcast that opens our eyes and ears to the nature around us and its, yes, constant wonders. Listen to Constant Wonder in your usual podcast-listening places.

Support the show: http://patreon.com/allusionist

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

"If you grow up being told that one of your first languages, Singlish, is actually a bad version of an already existing language, you kind of get this sense that “I'm just bad at language,” says Bibek Gurung, a former linguist who grew up in Singapore speaking Singlish with his family and friends, while schools and the government tried to quash it. "Language is a fundamental human skill. And to just have this sense that you're bad at this very fundamental skill really does a number to your self esteem and your abilities to communicate in general."

Find out more about the episode and read the transcript at theallusionist.org/singlish.

Content note: this episode contains references to corporal punishment of children. And there is one category B swear.  

Come to the Allusionist meetup in Vancouver BC on 20 October 2024! Information is at theallusionist.org/events.

To help fund this independent podcast, take yourself to theallusionist.org/donate and become a member of the Allusioverse. You get regular livestreams with me and my collection of reference books, inside scoops into the making of this show, and watchalong parties - this month we're enjoying Merchant Ivory films, the current seasons of Great British Bake Off and the Canadian version, and Taskmaster featuring my brother Andy. And best of all, you get to bask in the company of your fellow Allusionauts in our delightful Discord community. 

This episode was produced by me, Helen Zaltzman, with music and editorial assistance from Martin Austwick of palebirdmusic.com. Find @allusionistshow on Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, Bluesky etc.

Our ad partner is Multitude. If you want me to talk about your product or thing on the show, sponsor an episode: contact Multitude at multitude.productions/ads. This episode is sponsored by:

• Quince, high quality clothing and homewares at prices 50-80% lower than comparable brands. Go to Quince.com/allusionist for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns.
• Rocket Money, the personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions and monitors your spending. Go to rocketmoney.com/allusionist to save money and lower your outgoings.
• Home Chef, meal kits that fit your needs. For a limited time, Home Chef is offering Allusionist listeners eighteen free meals, plus free shipping on your first box, and free dessert for life, at HomeChef.com/allusionist.
• Squarespace, your one-stop shop for building and running your online realm. Go to squarespace.com/allusionist for a free 2-week trial, and get 10 percent off your first purchase of a website or domain with the code allusionist.
• Bombas, whose mission is to make the comfiest clothing essentials, and match every item sold with an equal item donated. Go to bombas.com/allusionist to get 20% off your first purchase.  

Support the show: http://patreon.com/allusionist

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is the Tranquillusionist, in which I, Helen Zaltzman, give your brain a break by temporarily supplanting your interior monologue with words that don't make you feel feelings. Note: this is NOT a normal episode of the Allusionist, where you might learn something about language and your brain might be stimulated. The Tranquillusionist's purpose is to soothe your brain and for you to learn very little, except for something about Zeus's attitude to bad drivers.

There's a collection of other Tranquillusionists at theallusionist.org/tranquillusionist, on themes including champion dogs, Australia's big things, gay animals and more. Today: constellations that got demoted into ex-constellations, featuring airborne pregnancy, cats of the skies, and one of 18th century London's most unpopular multi-hyphenates.

Find the episode's transcript, plus more information about the topics therein, at theallusionist.org/ex-constellations.

To help fund this independent podcast, take yourself to theallusionist.org/donate and become a member of the Allusioverse. You get regular livestreams with me and my collection of reference books, inside scoops into the making of this show, watchalong parties eg the new season of Great British Bake Off, and Taskmaster featuring my brother Andy. And best of all, you get to bask in the company of your fellow Allusionauts in our delightful Discord community. 

This episode was produced by me, Helen Zaltzman, with music composed by Martin Austwick of palebirdmusic.com. Find @allusionistshow on Instagram, Facebook, Threads, Bluesky, TikTok, YouTube etc.

Our ad partner is Multitude. If you want me to talk lovingly and winningly about your product or thing on the show in 2024, sponsor an episode: contact Multitude at multitude.productions/ads. This episode is sponsored by:

• Home Chef, meal kits that fit your needs. For a limited time, Home Chef is offering Allusionist listeners eighteen free meals, plus free shipping on your first box, and free dessert for life, at HomeChef.com/allusionist.
• Squarespace, your one-stop shop for building and running your online universe. Go to squarespace.com/allusionist for a free 2-week trial, and get 10 percent off your first purchase of a website or domain with the code allusionist.
• Bombas, whose mission is to make the comfiest clothing essentials, and match every item sold with an equal item donated. Go to bombas.com/allusionist to get 20% off your first purchase.  
• LinkedIn Ads convert your B2B audience into high quality leads. Get $100 credit on your next campaign at linkedin.com/allusionist.

Support the show: http://patreon.com/allusionist

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

I can scarce believe that I've made 200 episodes of this show, but here we are! To celebrate, here is a quiz about language where all the questions were set by YOU, the beautiful brainy listeners. Play along with me - there's a score sheet you can use over at theallusionist.org/200, plus the episode's transcript and links to more information about some of the topics.

If you want to help me celebrate this podcast making it to 200 episodes, recommend it to someone! Word of mouth/virtual mouth is the best way for a podcast to find new listeners, especially a little independent podcast like this one with no budget for billboard advertising. 

If you do want to chip in to my future billboard ad fund, go to theallusionist.org/donate and become a member of the Allusioverse. You get regular livestreams with me and my collection of reference books, inside scoops into the making of this show, watchalong parties eg the new season of Taskmaster which stars my brother Andy, and the company of your fellow Allusionauts in our delightful Discord community. 

This episode was produced by me, Helen Zaltzman, with music and editorial assistance from Martin Austwick of palebirdmusic.com. Find @allusionistshow on Instagram, Facebook, Threads, Bluesky, TikTok, YouTube etc.

Our ad partner is Multitude. If you want me to talk about your product or thing on the show, sponsor an episode: contact Multitude at multitude.productions/ads. This episode is sponsored by:

• Constant Wonder, the podcast that helps you find the wonder in nature (inc human). Listen in the usual places you find podcasts.
• Rocket Money, the personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions and monitors your spending. Go to rocketmoney.com/allusionist to save money and lower your outgoings.
• Home Chef, meal kits that fit your needs. For a limited time, Home Chef is offering Allusionist listeners eighteen free meals, plus free shipping on your first box, and free dessert for life, at HomeChef.com/allusionist.
• Squarespace, your one-stop shop for building and running your online empire/new home for your cryptic puzzle that takes months to solve. Go to squarespace.com/allusionist for a free 2-week trial, and get 10 percent off your first purchase of a website or domain with the code allusionist.

Support the show: http://patreon.com/allusionist

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.