The Overwhelmed Brain

By Paul Colaianni

Education

What's The Overwhelmed Brain about?

Get to the root of emotional issues and learn the best way to relate to yourself and others by honoring your personal boundaries and making decisions that are in alignment with what's most important to you.

This is not a "common-sense" personal growth and development show. You won't be told to think positively or create affirmations. The Overwhelmed Brain is about accessing that deeper mental and emotional strength inside you so that you can decrease or even eliminate old fears and evolve into the person you want to be.

Learn what your parents or caretakers never taught you about emotional wellness and creating strong, non-toxic bonds with others.

If you want the exact instructions that will help improve your life, you're in the right place.

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LAST EPISODE

Not all parents are loving ...

08.14.2022

If you've tried everything with someone and they are still awful to you, perhaps you're trying too hard. Or maybe they don't care enough to change for you or anyone else. What happens when one or both parents are unloving ...

The Overwhelmed Brain episodes:

08.14.2022 Not all parents are loving and supportive If you've tried everything with someone and they are still awful to you, perhaps you're trying too hard. Or maybe they don't care enough to change for you or anyone else. What happens when one or both parents are unloving ...
08.07.2022 What's the point of the day to day just to feel depressed and anxious? Going about your life shouldn't be a constant stress on your system. Sometimes we let our fears override our values. When that happens, we end up with results we don't want more often than not. I talk about that in ...
07.31.2022 Stuffing who you are way down can make you numb Is there a part of you that you can't necessarily feel fully? Do you think you could be happier than you are? Sometimes we stuff emotions down so far that we forget they're there. When that happens, a part of ...
07.24.2022 Giving up happiness because someone holds something over your head What can you do if someone is holding something over your head and you feel stuck unless you kiss their butt? Is there a solution to this kind of abusive situation? It's a "do what I say or you'll never ...
07.17.2022 Email grab bag 5 - Codependent and stuck - New on the job - Getting a raise - Vague signals while dating Hundreds of emails, so little time. I tackle three messages. One from a woman stuck in a codependent relationship wanting to know how to find peace. Another from someone trying to connect with people at a new job. Then I ...
07.10.2022 Some dysfunctional people don't like when you're functional It should be celebrated when you start honoring yourself and standing up for yourself. It should be seen as a gift you give yourself that leads to happiness. But some people see your empowerment as a threat and aren't ready ...
07.03.2022 Is it worth the risk to seek a romantic relationship with a good friend? Sometimes the friendship is so great, you wish you could feel this way all the time. So perhaps the thought of taking the friendship further comes to mind. But are they interested in you? And if they aren't, will the ...
06.26.2022 The toxic relationship ended but I can't forgive myself and move on A toxic relationship is one where at least one person is hurtful to another when there is supposed to be love, kindness, respect, and support. A woman wrote to me and said she was in a toxic relationship for far ...
06.19.2022 Putting an end to your own passive aggressive behavior A listener was told she was passive-aggressive and she didn't realize it. She asked how to identify it in herself and how and why it comes about. I address this great topic in today's episode. I also talk about a ...
06.12.2022 Apologizing to the ex… good idea or bad? If you acted badly toward someone in your past, is it a good idea to reach out and apologize years later? What if they're a past romantic partner you hurt and they've moved on, do you think they'll want to ...
06.06.2022 Do you let the breadcrumbing toxic family member back in your life? A woman blocks her mom because of her years of toxic behavior. When she unblocks her, the mom reaches out, never mentioning being blocked, and never apologizing or taking responsibility for her hurtful behavior. Is it time to accept someone ...
05.29.2022 Say what you mean. Mean what you say. When you say what you mean, you get a lot more done than most people because you leave little room for interpretation. Is there a way to do this elegantly and effectively so you don't sound like a total jerk? ...
05.22.2022 Will you ever be good enough? When you are mistreated in some way and made to feel less than dirt, do you accept that you are as you are treated or that you are as you choose to be? Don't let other people's perceptions of you ...
05.15.2022 The rut of waiting for someone else to decide before you can move on If you're waiting for someone to make a decision so that you can figure out which direction to go, you might be waiting a while. Some people are very comfortable in their indecision and don't mind how long they stay ...
05.08.2022 Carrying around the burden of someone else's secret What do you do when someone you care about tells you a secret that affects other people you care about? Do you follow your heart or your values? Does your moral compass activate and make you express the secret to ...
05.01.2022 Getting stalked online and there's something about love you should know I got a letter from someone who is being stalked online by her ex-boyfriend's wife. She has nothing to do with this person, yet she is a target. Is there a way out of this crazy mess? In segment two, ...
04.24.2022 When you're "on" too much for others but not enough for yourself When you're always "on," it means you put on your game face in every interaction with others. It's like being in customer service and having to smile at every single customer that walks in the door. Do this all day ...
04.17.2022 Pretending to be the person you're not Pretending is draining. When you're unwell and you show the world you're doing great, you lose energy, dissolve relationships, and turn people off. This episode is about learning what a pretender is to help you avoid sabotaging your own path ...
04.10.2022 Stopping the head games When someone plays head games with you, they're not telling you the whole truth. Perhaps they are lying altogether. The problem is, you can't always pinpoint what they're doing, you just know something's not right. What to do... I try ...
04.03.2022 When is it time to wean your parents off of you? There's a point where you've left the nest and started living your own life. But some parents haven't let you go. Some tell you how to live your life. Some are just toxic and won't leave you alone or stop ...
03.27.2022 To compromise, sacrifice, or support no matter what When it comes to relationships, I think it's best to support the other person as much as possible. The trick is doing so while you disagree with what they're doing. Choosing to instead reject or deny what they want to ...
03.20.2022 Balancing your life with only those things and people that matter Sometimes a friendship takes an unexpected turn. Who you thought was your bestie suddenly leaves you out of an important event in their life or doesn't share things they used to share with you. What's going on in that case? ...
03.13.2022 The pressure that builds when you can't let go of the negative emotions The pressure that builds inside you when you don't say or do what you really want to say or do has to come out. Holding on to negativity is like keeping your hand on the hot stove and expecting not ...
03.06.2022 Are you judgmental toward people that bother the heck out of you? We can be so critical sometimes, especially toward people we love. Is it necessary to continue being judgmental or critical toward people that never change? Is it our job to change them? Judgments really have no place in relationships but ...
02.27.2022 When you want the greener grass on the other side - the life you want vs the life you have When the life you have looks a lot less appealing than the life you could have, you may have lots of feelings about it. You may even obsess about it. What can you do about these thoughts? Is it time ...
02.20.2022 Is there such thing as an instant soul mate or is that the first warning sign of a difficult relationship? When you meet someone and instantly feel love at first sight, like they're your "soulmate" or "the one," it's possible that not only are they not the one, but they may actually be the one person you want to get ...
02.13.2022 Not everything is your fault You might take the fall for a lot of things that happen when you probably don't need to. Sometimes, that's a kind thing to do. But when it happens more often than not, especially with certain people, you're probably in ...
02.06.2022 Does bad behavior ever deserve a free pass? Is saying "I didn't mean it," a good excuse for bad behavior? Some people can be out of control due to drugs or alcohol, so they might do stupid things when they don't really mean to do them. However, should ...
01.30.2022 The smile of denial that keeps you feeling miserable If you tend to suppress your thoughts and repress your emotions, and put on a smile to show the world, you might be on your way to depression and anxiety. If that's your goal, don't change a thing! However, if ...
01.23.2022 Is honoring yourself supposed to destroy relationships? Honoring yourself doesn't have to be about hurting someone else. It's not about making them feel bad, it's about expressing to them what makes you feel bad and what you will and won't accept for behavior. Problems arise when you ...
01.16.2022 Are you being mean but don't mean to be? Arguments are never fun. When you both take a stand to make your points, it can lead to some heated exchanges. You can recover from a heated exchange. But when the argument takes a turn to insulting and belittling words, ...
01.09.2022 Following the path that serves you best even if it feels the worst Sometimes you have to let things go and take a new road in order to find a sense of peace and comfort inside yourself. The new road may come with a high price that has an even higher reward. Are ...
01.02.2022 The pain of loss The pain of loss shouldn't be stuffed down and avoided, it should be felt at the deepest level, but only when you're ready and only at the pace you can handle. Everyone experiences loss differently so what works for one ...
12.26.2021 Stuffing emotions way down there Whenever you deal with an event that upsets you in some way, if you stuff an emotion down and never deal with it then or later, you're going to experience a diminishing of your overall level of happiness and satisfaction ...
12.19.2021 How you can sabotage your own happiness waiting for others to change Waiting for someone to change is often a waste of time. They can promise and tell you they're working on it, but are they? Has anything changed in the past day, month, or year? Or do things seem eerily familiar ...
12.12.2021 Questions to ask yourself to get to the deepest layer of repressed emotions We all know that anger and upset can hide so many emotions that you may not even know what's under there. If you become emotionally triggered and wish you didn't, learning which questions to ask yourself so that you can ...
12.05.2021 How complex does something have to get before you decide to quit? Sometimes life can take you in a direction you don't want to go. But you don't always have to end up with the bottom-of-the-barrel results you may get. It might take some planning and some scary steps, but there is ...
11.28.2021 Training yourself ahead of time to deal with difficult people There's always someone that's harder to deal with than most other people in your life. And when you have to deal with them, do you have all the self-empowerment tools at your disposal to get through the interaction unscathed? Whether ...
11.21.2021 Taking the big leap into self-worth and self-esteem Sometimes becoming happier in life involves taking huge steps that seem so scary when you're going through them, but come with the reward of increased self-worth and self-esteem. And when you take that leap of faith, a whole lot more ...
11.14.2021 Are difficult people really doing the best they can? If you know that a difficult or even toxic person in your life is not doing the best they can to show up in a way that tells you they're at least trying to improve themselves in some way, maybe ...
11.07.2021 Is there an answer to the lying, manipulative child? Some people will lash out and rebel when they feel like they aren't being heard, or they're holding something back from the past. They swallow anger, sadness, and more, and that can turn into depression or the ultimate expression of ...
10.31.2021 People can change but what about when they don't or wont? Sometimes we're stuck with someone that doesn't have our best interest in mind. Not only that, they may even have a not-so-pleasant plan to make us miserable. What do you do with the toxic person that doesn't want to, or ...
10.24.2021 What do you do when you're so tired of the world being against you? It can get tiring trying to do the right thing, be the right person, and say what you're expected to say. On top of that, when you try, it can sometimes feel as if the world has turned against you, ...
10.17.2021 Should you be happy letting go of people who are a vortex of misery in your life? Should family, no matter how toxic they are, be in your life because of your relationship with them? Some people are so emotionally dangerous to be around that unless you distance yourself, you will always suffer when they are around ...
10.10.2021 The betrayal of relationship trust - Emotional Affairs Emotional affairs almost always lead to pain. They are a betrayal of trust and an escape from the conversation you should be having in your relationship. Sometimes you have to bring up the hard truths so that those involved have ...
10.03.2021 Does your amazing personality intimidate others? Some people have so much self-confidence that they carry themselves in a way that might put certain people off. Those confident in themselves can be kind, respectful, supportive, and caring, yet their personality can still rub people the wrong way. ...
09.26.2021 Email Grab Bag 4 - Rising toleration of bad behavior, from victim to victor, porn ruining the relationship I read three emails from people in three different circumstances. The first one is a troubled marriage where the wife doesn't know why she is staying and can't figure out how to make the decision to leave. Segment two is ...
09.19.2021 The obstacles that block the path to self-worth and happiness Self-worth and happiness is a right. It should be something you proudly claim without fear. Yet, so many people have trouble believing they are worthy, or worse, worthy of happiness. It's time to clear the path of obstacles blocking your ...
09.12.2021 What did you sign up for in the relationship? When you sign up for a relationship, you sign up for who they are now but are you signing up for who you hope they'll be as well? Are the expectations that should be met when it comes to a ...
09.05.2021 Just how deep do you have to dig to heal unresolved issues? The past can wreak havoc on the present, especially on your relationships. If therapy, reading, watching videos, and learning all you can about how to improve and heal isn't working, sometimes you need to dig so deep that break down ...

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