It's no secret that money is a major factor in relationship conflicts. Whether it's misaligned values, a feeling that one partner is sabotaging the other's goals through their spending, or a desire to keep up with the Jones'... money has the potential to start or fuel a lot of conflict. But it doesn't have to! Often money arguments belie fundamental communcation problems, and YNAB can help by clarifying for both partners what the goal is for your dollars and whether that is aligned with your shared values.

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To many, the word "budget" brings to mine restrictions, guilt, punishment, and a general feeling of dread that they don't have control over their money, much less hit their budget goals. But this idea that a budget means setting hard limits on spending in various categories, then looking back every month to see if you were "good" or "bad" in adhering to those limits... it's all backwards!

Jesse has another way to look at "budgeting," or planning as he calls it. You give every dollar you have a job -- you look at what future expenses you know you have coming and put those dollars into categories to cover those expenses. Once you have your future expenses covered, then you start thinking about what else you'd like to do with your money: take a trip, buy some new clothes, maybe go out to a nice restaurant. Then, as life happens and your needs change, you can move the money around. It's not a failure that your spending doesn't perfectly adhere to some arbitrary category number, it just means you got new information, circumstances changed, and therefore your spending plan needs to change with it.

Once you wrap your head around this way of thinking about money, of planning for the future rather than looking backwards and punishing yourself, then you can start loving the way you spend. Guilt free.

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Judging from the difficulties many adults have managing their money, we don't do a great job collectively of teaching our kids about money. Jesse doesn't consider himself an expert on this, but he does have seven kids, and thus seven chances to instill good money habits in his own children. In today's episode he shares how he teaches his kids about money using the YNAB method, scaled down in language and concepts that younger children can understand.

At the end of the day, the goal for kids is the same as the goal for adults... Jesse wants them to love the way they spend, and imagine what money can do for them.

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Spendfulness is the new word around YNAB, but the concept goes back to the beginning of the company... and even before the company itself. In today's episode, Jesse recounts the very early days of YNAB, when the budgeting method was just a spreadsheet. Jesse realized that the spreadsheet was enforcing a set of behaviors, or "rules," around money and that those rules were the foundation of what is now referred to as the YNAB method. YNAB is more than a spreadsheet, and more than a software tool, it is a set of principles for managing money and, more importantly, learning about yourself. Knowing thyself is at the heart of spendfulness, and as it turns out, living spendfulness is what YNAB was about the whole time!

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Jesse has a long history experimenting with money. From rating every meal he and the family ate out, to "hyperbudgeting," to not budgeting at all... he's run an experiment almost every year for the last several years to see how his habits affect his financial planning. In today's episode Jesse recaps the experiments he's done, how they went (good and bad), and reminds us that personal finance is, well, personal.

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If the world seems like it's on fire right now... it may be true. But then again, the world always seems like it's on fire, at least depending on who you ask. If you ask the news, it certainly is! Fortunately, the YNAB method -- giving every dollar a job and working through the 5 Questions -- can bring peace and calm to your finances.

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On the surface, emergency funds sound like a very prudent idea. You set aside cash for unknowable, unforseeable events so that you aren't strapped when you really need it. We're not disagreeing with the idea, but an emergency fund is somewhat counter to the core principle of YNAB: giving every dollar a job. In an emergency fund, dollars are given a job, but it's a vague one.

Jesse likens it to a football coach yelling at his defense to "just stop the other team from scoring!" The coach is identifying the basic goal of the game, but there's nothing specific to help the players actually accomplish that task. A good coach instead instructs players what to do at an individual level, adjusting their positioning, technique, key reads etc. so that they can more effectively play their role on the team. The net result is the same -- stopping the other team from scoring -- but the results are far more effective.

The same is true with your dollars. While yes, we do want to set aside money for larger, less frequent expenses, the truth is many of these expenses are knowable, we just don't plan for them. New roof, new tires, plumbing repair, etc. Including these items into your plan and saving for them accomplishes what the emergency fund accomplishes, but with more clarity.

So, consider just deleting your emergency fund. Or at least make it smaller, and give those dollars more specific, effective jobs.

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All money is meant to be spent, it's just a matter of when. Some people get caught in a cycle of amassing savings with no clear goal of how it is to be spent. Jesse shares an example from his wedding of how the desire to save money can backfire, and demonstrates how having a plan for your money, whether it's in the near future or distant future, is the most important thing.

As we say at YNAB, give every dollar job.

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YNAB only asks that you follow one rule with your money, the golden rule of money, if you will -- give every dollar a job. And within that statement is implied that you must give every dollar you have a job. Many people get in trouble when they start planning for money they expect to come but don't have yet. There be dragons!

Looking at the money you have right now, and asking yourself "what does this money need to do between now and when I get paid again?" focused you on reality, and avoids asking too many what-if questions about the future and various contingencies. And it's simple. No forecasting, no elaborate scenarios. Just concrete dollars in your wallet (or bank account) right now and present needs and wants.

Simplicity is underrated. Following this simple rule over and over, multiple times a month, maybe multiple times a week, will grow your financial confidence, your decision making skills, and your bank account!

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Jesse relates a story of a couple looking at a piece of gym equipment posted for sale at their local gym. It was expensive, and Emily's gut reaction was "no, it seems spendy." After some reflection she told her husband they should talk about it more, because maybe it was really a spendful purchase.

We are faced with decisions like these all the time. Without a plan, anything can seem spendy, even good things we want to spend our money on. Likewise, we can end up spending on things we don't really care about. Then there's the question "can I afford it?" that plagues us. These swirling, anxiety inducing questions can be answered by giving our dollars a job and working the 5 Questions (see episode #724 for more on the questions).

Next time you catch yourself thinking something is too spendy, ask yourself instead, could this be spendful?

Watch The Jesse Mecham Show on Youtube:

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