I am delighted to introduce Christopher Mills, a psychotherapist, a family consultant, a supervisor, and a trainer. Christopher began his work alongside family lawyers, helping them to develop skills to help them collaborate across divorce teams. In 2009, he made "Deadlock to dialogue". It was a film, an unrehearsed role-play combining the skills of mediation and psychotherapy when working with separating couples. His interest in mediation around childcare disputes led him to write "The complete guide to divorced parenting", a strong advocate of the need for lawyers to receive more support in their work with family trauma. He became the UK's first professional to offer specific regular supervision for family lawyers and QCs. About six months ago, I was lucky enough to work with this community in Australia as well. And they bear a huge burden when they act on behalf of their clients in these cases. Deep listening podcast listeners have asked if I could do an episode on how to listen in conflict through the lens of relationships.

Why it's worth listening to people you are in conflict with

The world is a noisy place where you fight to be heard every day. Despite the fact that we have been taught at home and at school how to speak, none of us has had any training in how to listen. Multiple academic studies have shown that between 50% and 55% of your working day is spent listening, yet only 2% of people have been trained in how to listen.

We feel frustrated, isolated and confused because we aren't heard.

As a speaker, it takes absolutely no training to notice when someone isn't listening - they're distracted, they interrupt or drift away as you talk.

Yet the opposite is also true, without any training in how to listen we struggle to stay connected with the speaker and the discussion.

This results in unproductive workplaces where people fight to be heard and need to repeat themselves constantly, send emails to confirm what they said and then have follow-up meetings to ensure what was said was actually heard by those in the meeting. It's a downward spiral that drains energy from every conversation and reduces the productivity of organisations.

This podcast is about creating practical tips and techniques to improve your daily listening.

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This episode of Deep Listening Impact Beyond Words explores the art of listening in diplomatic cross-cultural meetings, drawing insights from British Foreign Secretary James Cleverly's discussion with Cindy Yu on The Spectator's Chinese Whisper Podcast. Key takeaways:  Focus on non-verbal cues: Ambassador Cleverly emphasizes that what people don't say, their body language, note-taking, and response delays are often more revealing than their spoken words. This applies not just to high-stakes diplomacy but also to everyday workplace meetings. Team listening: Effective listening involves individual attentiveness and collaboration within your team.   The power of silence: Pay attention to pauses in the conversation. Their length, frequency, and placement can signal reflection, emphasis, cultural differences, or the weight of potential responses. Longitudinal listening: Notice subtle changes in language, body language, and overall tone over time during extended negotiations or repeated meetings.  Actionable insights:  Reflect on your listening habits: How much attention do you pay to non-verbal cues?   Practice team listening: Discuss group observations and interpretations after meetings to gain a more comprehensive understanding. Refine your pause awareness: Observe how others use pauses and experiment with your own pausing to enhance meaning and impact.  By applying these insights from diplomatic listening to your own workplace interactions, you can improve communication, build trust, and navigate complex situations more effectively. Additional Resources  "Does China Care What Britain Thinks?" from The Spectator's Chinese Whisper Podcast hosted by Cindy Yu. "Ambassadors: Thinking About Diplomacy From Machiavelli To Modern Times" by Robert Cooper.

the hidden clues when you listen well in low trust group meetings

Nicole Lowenbraun and Maegan Stephens, authors of the book "Adaptive Listening: How to Cultivate Trust and Traction at Work," explain the impact of adapting your listening in the a corporate workplace. They introduce the SAID listening model, which stands for Support, Advance, Immerse, and Discern, each representing a specific listening style and goal. They emphasize that everyone has a unique listening style and good intentions but may not always meet the speaker's needs. Nicole, a content director, and executive speaker coach, highlights the necessity of adapting your listening style based on the speaker's requirements. Maegan, a senior director of communication services, shares her experiences in coaching executives and the challenges of listening and providing feedback tailored to executive leaders.   They delve into their three-year journey of writing the book, emphasizing the need for detailed, actionable steps and memorable models for effective communication. They discuss the complexities of discernment in the workplace and offer insights into guiding others to listen effectively and seek the right type of listening in different situations. S A I D Support Advance Immerse Discern As a bonus, listen to Nicole, Maegan, and Oscar debrief on the process of listening during the recording of this discussion.

adaptive workplace listening and why its different from active listening

Authenticx CEO and Founder, Amy Brown, discusses the power of listening at scale in the contact center industry. She shares her personal experiences and how they shaped her understanding of the importance of listening to patients and customers. Brown emphasizes the need for organizations to listen to the authentic voice of the customer in order to drive positive healthcare outcomes. She also highlights the barriers to effectively utilizing conversational data and the ethical considerations of AI technology. Brown provides insights into how Authenticx's platform helps organizations unlock valuable insights and drive innovation through listening. She concludes by offering three key questions that organizations should ask when evaluating suppliers of systems for listening at scale. Amy Bown    Authenticx   Authenticx's Eddy Effect how to listen – the most comprehensive book about listening in the workplace – visual edition – print & digital version how to listen - visual edition - the back story    

the hidden value in your contact center and how to listen at scale with Authenticx’s Amy Brown

Oscar Trimboli interviews Jamie Woolf and Heidi Rosenfelder, former employees of Pixar Animation Studios and founders of CreativityPartners, discussing the importance of listening in building connections and fostering innovation. Woolf and Rosenfelder emphasize the need to slow down the questioning process and ask better, more meaningful questions. They highlight the role of playback, curiosity, and emotional awareness in effective listening. We've got three copies of the book, Creativity, Inc, a behind the scenes story about creativity by the founder at Pixar, Ed Catmull. https://www.amazon.com/Creativity-Inc-Overcoming-Unseen-Inspiration/dp/0812993012 Email podcast@oscartrimboli.com with the subject Pixar and your reflections on this discussion between Jamie, Heidi and myself. The conversation touches on creating a safe and inclusive environment for all voices to be heard, as well as the impact of power dynamics on listening. Learn about advanced listening techniques including  The playback Slowing down the process  The importance of plussing The role of the environment Power dynamics  Inside Pixar

how to think and listen like the team at pixar animation Heidi Rosenfelder Jamie Woolf

To celebrate the first anniversary of how to listen: discover the hidden key to better communication, the most comprehensive and awarded book about listening in the workplace, we have created a visual summary of the book.   Each of the eight chapters is distilled into an illustration from each key concept within that chapter.   This video is an interview with Rebecca Lazenby, the illustrator of visual summary.   We discuss the process of listening before, during and after the project of creating the visual summary.   If you would like to watch - visit https://youtu.be/iKYMwnK8VNk?si=W_znu7YGNDirENFT 

Why it's worth listening to people you are in conflict with

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