In this episode of Chasing Joy, musician (Beware of Darkness) and author (Thank God for Depression) Kyle Nicolaides, joins us alongside SoCal Sound host Hillary Gordon to explore what it really means to chase joy.

Kyle opens up about how depression and anxiety ended his rock career—touring with the Smashing Pumpkins, performing on Conan, topping charts—yet became the doorway to healing, spirituality, and self-compassion. From ayahuasca journeys and silent retreats to confronting early trauma, he reframes depression not as a curse, but as a messenger pointing toward liberation.

Alongside Hillary’s grounded wisdom, we unpack:

• Why you can’t hate yourself into change
• How trauma gets stuck in the body (and how to release it)
• The difference between external success and inner freedom
• Why joy is often found in letting go, not adding more

Kyle also teases his next book, Thank God for Anxiety, and the spiritual practices behind it.

This is a conversation about healing, compassion, and finding joy in the very places we try to avoid.

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