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After betrayal, couples often feel like they’re living the same story, but in completely different timelines.
One partner feels miles ahead, ready to rebuild, while the other is still reeling from the shock.
This is The Lag - the time delay between awareness, understanding, and emotional readiness in the aftermath of infidelity.
In this episode, Luke explains how The Lag shows up in two major phases, first, the delay in awareness between the unfaithful and betrayed partner, and later, the difference in perception as healing begins.
He explores deeper layers too, emotional regulation, motivation, identity, and trust, showing how each partner can exist in a different emotional time zone even when they both want repair.
You’ll learn how to recognise The Lag, stop blaming each other for being “out of sync,” and start walking together again, even when your clocks don’t match.
If you’ve recognised The Lag in your own story, you’re not alone; it’s one of the most common patterns after infidelity.
Luke’s coaching and The After the Affair Collective community are designed to help you bridge that gap, building clarity, calm, and connection at your own pace.
Connect with Luke:
By Luke Shillings4.7
2727 ratings
After betrayal, couples often feel like they’re living the same story, but in completely different timelines.
One partner feels miles ahead, ready to rebuild, while the other is still reeling from the shock.
This is The Lag - the time delay between awareness, understanding, and emotional readiness in the aftermath of infidelity.
In this episode, Luke explains how The Lag shows up in two major phases, first, the delay in awareness between the unfaithful and betrayed partner, and later, the difference in perception as healing begins.
He explores deeper layers too, emotional regulation, motivation, identity, and trust, showing how each partner can exist in a different emotional time zone even when they both want repair.
You’ll learn how to recognise The Lag, stop blaming each other for being “out of sync,” and start walking together again, even when your clocks don’t match.
If you’ve recognised The Lag in your own story, you’re not alone; it’s one of the most common patterns after infidelity.
Luke’s coaching and The After the Affair Collective community are designed to help you bridge that gap, building clarity, calm, and connection at your own pace.
Connect with Luke:

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