Today I'm chatting with Even Canavan. Eve is one of the women behind the Perinatal Mental Health Partnership and is one of the masterminds behind Maternal Mental Health Matters Awareness Week.

This epiosde comes with a trigger warning as we talk about pregnancy loss, Eve's experience of postpartum psychosis and also about Eve's admission to a mother and baby unit. 

Eve talks about having three losses before she conceived her son. Eve has a medical condition which meant she was a high risk pregnancy and had planned caesarean becaus of this. 

During pregnancy Eve focused on practical plans, she didn't really think about how to prepare emotionally for the time postnatally. 

Eve explains she became unwell very quickly after having her son. Her mum noticed she was 'glazed over' and didn't seem herself straight away. 

Eve talks about her experience of postpartum psychosis. She describes being really scared of her son and couldn't be in the same room as him, Eve also said she felt she'd made a terrible mistake having a child and it really panicked her to think that she would have to look after her son forever. 

It took six weeks for Eve to be diagnosed with postpartum psychosis; during this time her partner was extremenly worried about her and they sought advice from a number of health professionals who were unable to help Eve. 

At 6 weeks postpartum Eve was admitted to a mother and baby unit and Eve said it was after this that she started to recover. 

We talked about the really great perinatal support that is available but Eve said there are women 'falling through the gaps' who aren't receiving the care they need and deserve. These are often women who wouldn't meet the criteria for a perinatal mental health illness but are struggling with their emotions nonetheless. 

Eve also talked about women often feeling guilt about being unwell when their children are young as they worry about the impact this will have on attachment and future development.

We agreed the focus should be on women recovering and getting better so they can build that relationship with their child rather than focusing on what they have missed out on and giving women the message that if they are unwell they will have damaged their relationship with their child. Attatchment can always be repaired after a woman recovers. 

I asked Eve if there is anything she would have done differently if she could do it again. She said she would prepare for the time postnatally and think more about what emotional support she would need postnatally. 

I really loved chatting with Eve; it's a fab episode. If you enjoyed it then please leave me a review on itunes and share it with a friend who you think would find it useful. This really helps to spread the word about the podcast and allows me to help more mums. 

I also talked about my free 'finding your purpose in motherhood' challenge that I'll be running soon. It's a five day challenge where I'l give you daily tasks that will help you reflect on your motherhood journey so far and think about where you want to be and how you can get there. Sign up here. 

Yes please Maisie, I'm in!

Find out more about Eve. 

Blog - https://smalltimemum1.wordpress.com/

Instagram  - https://www.instagram.com/eviecanavan/