The Filipino American Woman Project

181: "Are you going home for the holidays?" — A Filipina Redefining Family


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If you could reflect on one thing, it’s this:

Are you going home for the holidays—or are you already home?

This letter is for anyone tired of being asked if they’re going home to their blood family and relatives for the holidays.

Through faith, conviction, and clarity, the writer shares why she’s choosing not to return to her family this year. She reflects on how familial and cultural expectations justified years of abuse, how she made an idol out of family, and what ‘going home’ means to her today.

If you’ve ever said, “But they’re family…” just to survive the holidays—this letter is for you.



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