Courses I took: MamaSteFit Birth Prep, Pain Free Birth, Christian Hypnobirthing.

Most important questions asked throughout all of these courses was:

How I wanted to feel in my labor process? And values I wanted held in my birthing space.

* Calm, autonomy, joy, freedom, fluid, peaceful, and supported

It was extremely important to me to not have fear or external pressure enter my birth space. Dare I say, I wanted to have fun.

I got all of that and it was largely in part to also facing the following sentences and beliefs beforehand. These were from both the Pain Free Birth course and MamaSteFit birth prep.

What you believe about labor will undoubtedly show up in your birthing process.

A vaginal birth is: 

* my answer: the ideal for mom and baby outside of emergency.

A cesarean birth is:

* my answer: an intervention for medical emergency

I wanted, planned and prepped for an unmedicated vaginal birth. And I nearly got it. But bebe Miller had other plans.

My labor was everything I thought it would be from a physical and spiritual standpoint and so much more. I feel like I got to have three birth experiences in one. I got to experience nearly everything I saw for myself, plus paths and routes that I didn’t.

With that - with wanting an unmedicated vaginal birth, I did have plans laid out for when I would be okay with a cesarean, knowing full well that birth does not stick to a pre-set plan. My midwife encouraged me to write out and consider what interventions I’d be okay under what circumstances.

For me, a cesarean was a go if:

* Mom or baby heart rate was elevated or decelerated

* Infection occurred

* Baby lacked oxygen from cord issues or lack of fluid

* If forceps, vacuum or episiotomy was going to be used for delivery. That was a hard no for me because of likelihood of 3rd or 4th degree tear.

Other hard nos for me were:

* Internal balloon or manual dilation

My labor took many turns. It was an intense, wild ride and my favorite life experience to date. It ended in an emergency C section after laboring at a 7-8 for 3-4 hours with no progress, and pushing at a 10 for an hour.

Today I share the full story. Please respect it and know that it is mine, nothing else. It means nothing for your birth experience. Past or present. I simply share because I have always been amazed by birth stories even before I considered having children myself.

I was a woman terrified of labor. It was a reason I was hesitant to ever have kids. Perhaps my story will be of some perspective, benefit or redemption to other moms or moms to be out there. I know hearing others stories is monumentally helpful to me. Thus, I pass along my own. 

Let us begin with making clear:

Shame has no place in the process and experience of labor.

I was talking to an old 1:1 fitness client who had recently had a delivery that played out many of her fears, and almost none of what she had planned or wanted. She was left with a lot of questions and what ifs, wondering if she would have just “x” would things have been different?

I hadn’t given birth at this point but I told her that I thought those questions, and having questions post delivery was very...