Sign up to save your podcasts
Or
Share 199. Being Told To Grieve The Child You Didn't Have
Share to email
Share to Facebook
Share to X
Share to email
Share to Facebook
Share to X
Or
199. Being Told To Grieve The Child You Didn't Have
What happens when one of the first things you’re told after a Down syndrome diagnosis is to grieve the child you didn’t have?
In this episode, we take a hard look at that phrase, where it comes from, why it’s been so widely repeated and why we feel it’s outdated and harmful. We unpack how these words can shape a parent’s mindset, feelings and the initial relationship they build with their child.
This conversation is part of a larger discussion about the kinds of advice parents often receive in those early moments. Well-meaning, perhaps, but not always aligned with the lived experiences of families raising children with Down syndrome.
We explore what needs to change and what parents actually need to hear instead. Honesty, possibility and support without assumptions.
If you’ve ever questioned the narratives surrounding disability or want to better understand how language impacts families, this episode invites you to rethink what we’ve long taken for granted
Episode Transcript: https://ifweknewthen701833686.wordpress.com/2026/05/28/199-being-told-to-grieve-the-child-you-didnt-have/2/
Please follow us on X @ifweknewthenPOD, you can drop us a line on our Facebook page @ifweknewthenPOD or visit our website https://www.IfWeKnewThen.com to send us an email with questions and comments. Also join our mailing list there and get alerts of future podcast episodes. Thank you again and we look forward to you joining us on the next episode of IF WE KNEW THEN.
View all episodes
By Stephen and Lori Saux
5
111111 ratings
What happens when one of the first things you’re told after a Down syndrome diagnosis is to grieve the child you didn’t have?
In this episode, we take a hard look at that phrase, where it comes from, why it’s been so widely repeated and why we feel it’s outdated and harmful. We unpack how these words can shape a parent’s mindset, feelings and the initial relationship they build with their child.
This conversation is part of a larger discussion about the kinds of advice parents often receive in those early moments. Well-meaning, perhaps, but not always aligned with the lived experiences of families raising children with Down syndrome.
We explore what needs to change and what parents actually need to hear instead. Honesty, possibility and support without assumptions.
If you’ve ever questioned the narratives surrounding disability or want to better understand how language impacts families, this episode invites you to rethink what we’ve long taken for granted
Episode Transcript: https://ifweknewthen701833686.wordpress.com/2026/05/28/199-being-told-to-grieve-the-child-you-didnt-have/2/
Please follow us on X @ifweknewthenPOD, you can drop us a line on our Facebook page @ifweknewthenPOD or visit our website https://www.IfWeKnewThen.com to send us an email with questions and comments. Also join our mailing list there and get alerts of future podcast episodes. Thank you again and we look forward to you joining us on the next episode of IF WE KNEW THEN.