Wedding season is well upon us, and with it always comes with a story. Many of you may already know that prior to working full-time for NPM, I was a full-time DIrector of Music at a Catholic church, which was set in a very beautiful, very visible, and also very tourist-laden area of my city. For 13 years I played 60-70 weddings annually, half of which were non-parishioners. The experiences came with a sense of excitement and joy…but also a time for catechesis for the bride and groom. We’ve probably all had the couple who needed a bit more clarification on why their favorite secular tune cannot be a part of the music at their Catholic wedding, and honestly, I’m sure we could compile our best wedding stories into a book! (I’ve heard it said, “I could write a book” many times…)

I’ve often heard a dreadful saying by pastoral musicians that “I’d rather play three funerals versus one wedding.” While this has always bothered me, I think the roots lie in a mutual misunderstanding of young couples being married, and the pastoral musicians who serve them. The beauty of the Sacrament of Marriage can often be eclipsed by the secular aesthetic that couples mostly worry about, from the flowers to the bridal party to, of course, the bride and groom’s ensembles. But just because a couple may not fully grasp the Sacrament does not mean that they cannot enter into a paradigm of catechesis prior to their wedding day. And in fact, I think we shortchange many couples by assuming they do not grasp a general understanding of the liturgy and how it will relate to their wedding. Why not take it as an opportunity to bridge that gap of understanding, even if only to help them more deeply understand their wedding?

Today on Ministry Monday we speak to Paul Radkowski, Director of Music at the Church of St. Edward the Confessor in Granville, Ohio. Paul discusses the ways that pastoral musicians can support couples as they prepare for the Sacrament of Marriage: how can they best plan their ceremony music? what if a loved one wants to sing in the wedding? What if the couple wants to include secular music in the wedding? Paul addresses these questions and more.