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3 | Grief Waves
In this conversation, MC and Tracy discuss the concept of grief waves, which are sudden and intense waves of grief that can knock a person off balance. They explore the stages of grief and how they can be misunderstood, as well as the transformative effect of loss. They also discuss the self-consciousness that can come with grief and the importance of allowing oneself to grieve in an active and productive way. The conversation highlights the power of art, conversation, and personal rituals in processing grief.
Quote from Judith Butler referenced at the start of Episode 3: “Perhaps, rather, one mourns when one accepts that by the loss one undergoes one will be changed, possibly for ever. Perhaps mourning has to do with agreeing to undergo a transformation (perhaps one should say submitting to a transformation) the full result of which one cannot know in advance. There is losing, as we know, but there is also the transformative effect of loss, and this latter cannot be charted or planned. One can try to choose it, but it may be that this experience of transformation deconstitutes choice at some level. I do not think, for instance, that one can invoke the Protestant ethic when it comes to loss. One cannot say, "Oh, I'll go through loss this way, and that will be the result, and I'll apply myself to the task, and I'll endeavor to achieve the resolution of grief that is before me." I think one is hit by waves, and that one starts out the day with an aim, a project, a plan, and finds oneself foiled. One finds oneself fallen. One is exhausted but does not know why. Something is larger than one's own deliberate plan, one's own project, one's own knowing and choosing.”― Judith Butler, Precarious Life: The Powers of Mourning and Violence
Join Keep Grief Weird on Substack for exclusive episode notes, resources, and opportunities to connect!
Instagram:
- @keepgriefweird
- @mc.phd
- @shutterbean
- @thehandwritingclub
TikTok:
- @mc.phd
X:
- @shutterbean
Facebook:
- @tracyshutterbean
- @emseyphd
Others:
- The Handwriting Club Substack Group
- The Handwriting Club Etsy Shop
- The Handwriting Club Newsletter
Music kindly provided by Tom Rosenthal. The song excerpted at the beginning and end of each episode is "Have We Met Before? feat. Fenne Lily" from the album Z-Sides, released in 2018.
MC McDonald and Tracy Benjamin host Keep Grief Weird, produced by Jake Youmell. For questions, stories, or comments, please reach out via DM on Instagram (@keepgriefweird) or email at [email protected].
View all episodes
By Tracy Benjamin and MC McDonald, PhD
5
2323 ratings
In this conversation, MC and Tracy discuss the concept of grief waves, which are sudden and intense waves of grief that can knock a person off balance. They explore the stages of grief and how they can be misunderstood, as well as the transformative effect of loss. They also discuss the self-consciousness that can come with grief and the importance of allowing oneself to grieve in an active and productive way. The conversation highlights the power of art, conversation, and personal rituals in processing grief.
Quote from Judith Butler referenced at the start of Episode 3: “Perhaps, rather, one mourns when one accepts that by the loss one undergoes one will be changed, possibly for ever. Perhaps mourning has to do with agreeing to undergo a transformation (perhaps one should say submitting to a transformation) the full result of which one cannot know in advance. There is losing, as we know, but there is also the transformative effect of loss, and this latter cannot be charted or planned. One can try to choose it, but it may be that this experience of transformation deconstitutes choice at some level. I do not think, for instance, that one can invoke the Protestant ethic when it comes to loss. One cannot say, "Oh, I'll go through loss this way, and that will be the result, and I'll apply myself to the task, and I'll endeavor to achieve the resolution of grief that is before me." I think one is hit by waves, and that one starts out the day with an aim, a project, a plan, and finds oneself foiled. One finds oneself fallen. One is exhausted but does not know why. Something is larger than one's own deliberate plan, one's own project, one's own knowing and choosing.”― Judith Butler, Precarious Life: The Powers of Mourning and Violence
Join Keep Grief Weird on Substack for exclusive episode notes, resources, and opportunities to connect!
Instagram:
- @keepgriefweird
- @mc.phd
- @shutterbean
- @thehandwritingclub
TikTok:
- @mc.phd
X:
- @shutterbean
Facebook:
- @tracyshutterbean
- @emseyphd
Others:
- The Handwriting Club Substack Group
- The Handwriting Club Etsy Shop
- The Handwriting Club Newsletter
Music kindly provided by Tom Rosenthal. The song excerpted at the beginning and end of each episode is "Have We Met Before? feat. Fenne Lily" from the album Z-Sides, released in 2018.
MC McDonald and Tracy Benjamin host Keep Grief Weird, produced by Jake Youmell. For questions, stories, or comments, please reach out via DM on Instagram (@keepgriefweird) or email at [email protected].