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301. How to Advocate When Doctors Don’t Listen: Speak Healthcare, Protect Dignity
“Have you ever walked into an appointment knowing exactly what your loved one needs—then left feeling invisible?” That’s where Mary was when a therapist pushed beyond her husband’s limits and a dentist proposed a plan that ignored his stage of life.
As always, I began with my focusing prompt: “Six months from now, what would have to change for caregiving to feel easier—while stewarding your health and relationships?” Mary’s answer? Clarity, and care that actually fits her husband.
1) Speak healthcare—brief, specific, functional.
Don’t just give a diagnosis; describe what happens after the provider leaves. Try: “When you used the cane in therapy, he believed he could use it all day. That raised fall risk. Please train strength/balance without introducing a cane; he must remain on the walker.” This protects the other 23 hours.
2) Ask the right therapist, for the right work.
PT = strength, balance, gait; OT = safe transfers, environment, task setup; Speech = thinking/communication/swallow. For Mary’s husband: stagger visits (e.g., Tue PT, Fri OT), not back-to-back. You’re allowed to set the rhythm: “No double sessions; schedule Mon/Thu or Tue/Fri.”
3) Request the “why.”
If a plan feels wrong, say: “Explain why this is safest for him given dementia.” Make them connect method to your reality (e.g., forward lean during sit-to-stand can be protective; the danger is when he’s upright and leans back).
4) Advocate as a calling.
You know your person best. Be the “squeaky wheel” with grace: affirm what helps, name what harms, and ask for a different way. That’s Therapeutic Truth-Telling™—truth + compassion.
For steady help, join our Christian DigniCare Society—prayer, coaching, and practical tools so you’re never advocating alone. Early joiners get a short welcome call to start strong.
Don’t walk alone. The Christian DigniCare Society (lifetime, under $100) gives you community, coaching, prayer, and practical tools.
https://www.thinkdifferentdementia.com/cds
💬 What Do I Say When Dementia Makes Words Hard?
Get “What Do I Say? How to Connect with Your Loved One with Dementia” — a free guide for Christian caregivers navigating confusion, repetition, and emotional moments.
📥 Download the guide now: https://www.dementiacaregivingmadeeasy.com/script
🤝 You Don’t Have to Do This Alone
Join other Christian caregivers who are walking this road too — and learning how to care with compassion, clarity, and faith.
👥 Join the free Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/dementiacaregiversupportforchristians
🗣️ Ask Your Question Live — and Be Heard
Bring your real-life caregiving questions to Ask the Dementia Coach — our free monthly Q&A session. You’ll get support, clarity, and maybe even be featured on the podcast.
🎤 Register here: https://www.thinkdifferentdementia.com/ask
🎓 Want to Reduce Overwhelm Right Now?
Join our free workshop:
How to Immediately Reduce Dementia Caregiver Overwhelm and Stress — in 3 Simple Steps
🎟️ Reserve your seat: https://www.thinkdifferentdementia.com/wsl
🧭 Still Feeling Stuck?
If you’re wondering what’s underneath your stress, the Caregiver Stress Assessment can help clarify what’s really weighing you down — so you can take your next step with peace.
📊 Take the free assessment: https://www.thinkdifferentdementia.com/dca
❤️ Enjoy This Podcast?
Leave a quick review on Apple or Spotify — it helps other Christian caregivers find encouragement and real help.
🎧 Leave a review on Apple Podcasts
View all episodes
By Lizette Cloete, Christian Dementia Coach
4.9
7777 ratings
“Have you ever walked into an appointment knowing exactly what your loved one needs—then left feeling invisible?” That’s where Mary was when a therapist pushed beyond her husband’s limits and a dentist proposed a plan that ignored his stage of life.
As always, I began with my focusing prompt: “Six months from now, what would have to change for caregiving to feel easier—while stewarding your health and relationships?” Mary’s answer? Clarity, and care that actually fits her husband.
1) Speak healthcare—brief, specific, functional.
Don’t just give a diagnosis; describe what happens after the provider leaves. Try: “When you used the cane in therapy, he believed he could use it all day. That raised fall risk. Please train strength/balance without introducing a cane; he must remain on the walker.” This protects the other 23 hours.
2) Ask the right therapist, for the right work.
PT = strength, balance, gait; OT = safe transfers, environment, task setup; Speech = thinking/communication/swallow. For Mary’s husband: stagger visits (e.g., Tue PT, Fri OT), not back-to-back. You’re allowed to set the rhythm: “No double sessions; schedule Mon/Thu or Tue/Fri.”
3) Request the “why.”
If a plan feels wrong, say: “Explain why this is safest for him given dementia.” Make them connect method to your reality (e.g., forward lean during sit-to-stand can be protective; the danger is when he’s upright and leans back).
4) Advocate as a calling.
You know your person best. Be the “squeaky wheel” with grace: affirm what helps, name what harms, and ask for a different way. That’s Therapeutic Truth-Telling™—truth + compassion.
For steady help, join our Christian DigniCare Society—prayer, coaching, and practical tools so you’re never advocating alone. Early joiners get a short welcome call to start strong.
Don’t walk alone. The Christian DigniCare Society (lifetime, under $100) gives you community, coaching, prayer, and practical tools.
https://www.thinkdifferentdementia.com/cds
💬 What Do I Say When Dementia Makes Words Hard?
Get “What Do I Say? How to Connect with Your Loved One with Dementia” — a free guide for Christian caregivers navigating confusion, repetition, and emotional moments.
📥 Download the guide now: https://www.dementiacaregivingmadeeasy.com/script
🤝 You Don’t Have to Do This Alone
Join other Christian caregivers who are walking this road too — and learning how to care with compassion, clarity, and faith.
👥 Join the free Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/dementiacaregiversupportforchristians
🗣️ Ask Your Question Live — and Be Heard
Bring your real-life caregiving questions to Ask the Dementia Coach — our free monthly Q&A session. You’ll get support, clarity, and maybe even be featured on the podcast.
🎤 Register here: https://www.thinkdifferentdementia.com/ask
🎓 Want to Reduce Overwhelm Right Now?
Join our free workshop:
How to Immediately Reduce Dementia Caregiver Overwhelm and Stress — in 3 Simple Steps
🎟️ Reserve your seat: https://www.thinkdifferentdementia.com/wsl
🧭 Still Feeling Stuck?
If you’re wondering what’s underneath your stress, the Caregiver Stress Assessment can help clarify what’s really weighing you down — so you can take your next step with peace.
📊 Take the free assessment: https://www.thinkdifferentdementia.com/dca
❤️ Enjoy This Podcast?
Leave a quick review on Apple or Spotify — it helps other Christian caregivers find encouragement and real help.
🎧 Leave a review on Apple Podcasts
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